10 sinais de que és uma namorada carente e como deixar de o ser

You’re overly jealous and possessive

O primeiro sinal de que é uma namorada pegajosa é o seu comportamento ciumento.

É normal que se sinta desconfortável só de pensar no seu namorado enganar-vos mas se esses pensamentos a mantêm acordada durante a noite sem qualquer indicação de que ele está a ser infiel e sem qualquer indício de que algo assim possa acontecer, tem um problema sério.

Besides, a little bit of jealousy is kind of sweet because it shows that you care for your partner. However, this is not what’s going on in your relationship, and your possessiveness is everything but cute.

The truth is that you can’t stand any woman near your BF.

Está constantemente a prestar atenção ao facto de ele ver outras raparigas, se namorisca com elas, e odeia todas as amigas e colegas de trabalho dele sem qualquer razão aparente.

É algo com que se deve preocupar especialmente se a sua possessividade tiver um impacto negativo no seu romance.

Trust me–if you keep spending time nagging him about his relationship with every other female in his surroundings and threatening him about doing anything inappropriate, he’ll perceive you as a lunatic, and your jealous behavior will only chase him away.

Está sempre a telefonar-lhe e a enviar-lhe mensagens

Whenever you’re not around your boyfriend, his phone literally blows up.

You don’t care if he’s with his close friends or family, in a business meeting, if he’s busy or sleeping–you expect him to constantly respond to his text messages and phone calls .

Pede-lhe a sua localização atual, fotografias como prova do local onde se encontra, faz videochamadas sem aviso prévio e está sempre a controlá-lo.

Even when you trust him and know for sure where he is, you have a constant need to hear his voice, to see what he’s been doing since last night , and to keep in touch with him.

Yes, the truth is that with today’s technology, texting and phone calls are a huge part of every modern relationship.

You’re completely right if you expect bom dia and good night text messages and if you want to be spending time on the phone with your partner to talk about your days, especially if you haven’t seen each other in a while.

However, trust me that you’ll just become boring if you constantly double and triple text him, without the slightest concern about his obligations and without wondering whether you’re annoying him or not.

So, if you continue doing this, he’ll get tired of you in no time, and it will only have a counterproductive effect.

Relacionadas: Porque é que ninguém quer sair comigo? 10 dicas para encontrar o amor

And you get nervous when you don’t get a response

No entanto, um problema ainda maior do que telefonar e enviar mensagens de texto to your boyfriend all the time lies in the fact that you freak out and completely lose it if he doesn’t respond the minute you’ve reached out to him. 

According to you, there doesn’t exist an option in which he, for example, forgot his phone, keeps it in his pocket and doesn’t hear it ringing or that he simply can’t talk to you right now because he is in the middle of something. 

Quando isso acontece, pensamos imediatamente que ele é ignorar-te de propósito ou que ele a está a pôr em espera porque está a falar com outra rapariga.

Vê a falta de resposta dele como o fim do mundo e, em vez de lhe dar algum tempo para responder, continua a telefonar e a enviar-lhe mensagens até ele atender o telefone.

You should remember that nobody—even your boyfriend—has a duty to talk to you every single minute of every single day.

Ele pode estar a relaxar e a passar o seu tempo sozinho, e isso é algo com que tem de lidar em vez de o incomodar.

Você pensar demais e analisar demasiado

Another clear sign that you’re a clingy girlfriend is your overthinking.

You put all of your energy and time into analyzing all aspects of your relationship: you’re looking for hidden messages and signs that your boyfriend is doing something behind your back and that he doesn’t love you, you dissect his every move in detail, you reread his texts and try to figure out his mixed signals, even when everything is crystally clear.

Not only that–you’re also burdened with negative thoughts all the time.

Espera o pior resultado possível e pergunta-se constantemente se a sua relação está a chegar ao fim, sem que possa fazer nada para o evitar.

Quando pensa em tudo isto, fica convencido de que o seu problema de pensar demais só incomoda tu .

After all, you’re the one who has to deal with all of your thoughts, doubts, and questions—he doesn’t have anything to do with that.

No entanto, acredite em mim quando lhe digo que também projecta a sua energia negativa nele.

Além disso, o seu apego é uma consequência direta do seu excesso de análise, e isso é algo que tem de ser trabalhado antes de tomar qualquer atitude em relação a ele.

Persegue todos os seus passos

Como já foi dito, a carência anda muitas vezes de mãos dadas com o ciúme obsessivo.

You’re so desperate for your boyfriend that you end up stalking him.

Verificamos o telemóvel, revistamos os bolsos e percorremos as contas das redes sociais à procura de uma pista que indique que algo pode estar errado.

Investiga os seus melhores amigos (e especialmente as suas amigas), os seus colegas de trabalho e os locais que visita.

Segue-o literalmente para onde quer que ele vá e pensa que controlá-lo é a única forma de evitar que algo de mau aconteça.

Even when he goes out without you, you’re behind his back every time.

Somehow, you always ‘accidentally’ end up at the same places he might be at, you show up unannounced at his doorstep or in front of his work.

Pode pensar que tudo isto é giro e um sinal do seu amor por este homem, mas acredite em mim quando lhe digo que é quase uma loucura.

Once this man notices what you’re doing, he’ll think of you as a lunatic, and he’ll run away for his life, as far as possible from you.

Instead of satisfying your urges to know where he is at and what he’s been up to at every moment, do your best to control them.

Em vez de desperdiçar todo o seu tempo a seguir este tipo, invista toda essa energia em si.

You’re in constant fear of losing him

When you love someone, it is perfectly natural that you don’t want to lose them. However, if this fear paralyzes you and becomes the only thing you can think about, it is definitely something you should start worrying about.

A sua necessidade por este homem transformou-se numa verdadeira obsessão.

He has become the center of your world, and you’ve managed to convince yourself that your existence without him would be pointless.

Não vê sentido na sua vida se ele não estiver ao seu lado e pensa que nunca conseguiria viver sem ele.

Assim, consequentemente, ele afastar-se de si ou você fazer algo que possa afugentá-lo é o teu pior pesadelo.

However, in your desperate attempts to keep this guy by your side, you are actually doing the complete opposite–you’re making him feel trapped, and you’re distancing himself from you.

Vasculha o seu passado

Another thing most needy women do is go through their boyfriend’s past, and you’re no exception.

It is perfectly normal that your partner had a love life before you–he has ex girlfriends whom he probably loved. That is something he can’t and shouldn’t tentar apagar.

However, everything that happened before you two met is none of your business and shouldn’t concern you.

De acordo com a maioria dos conselhos sobre relaçõesÉ natural que ele a informe brevemente sobre a sua história amorosa: que lhe conte algo sobre as suas relações sérias e duradouras ou que mencione a razão mais comum das suas separações.

No entanto, saber isto é simplesmente insuficiente para si.

You’re jealous of every woman who was ever a part of his life, and you can’t stand the fact that other girls occupied his heart before you came along.

You can’t seem to grasp the idea that there is nothing to worry about, and that these women are a part of his past for a reason.

Em vez disso, pergunta-se se há alguma hipótese de ele voltar atrás to any of them, and most importantly–if he loved some of them more than he loves you now.

Not only that, you also made your BF throw away everything that might remind him of his past, you don’t allow him to be on friendly terms with any of his exes, and you keep looking for traces of some emotions he might still have for them.

Cuidado com o facto de you’re aquele que continua a trazer este assunto à baila e aquele que está a colocar estas raparigas de novo nos seus pensamentos.

After all, he never mentions them, and if you look at things realistically, you’ll see that there is nothing to worry about, which means that you’ll be fully responsible if some of his old emotions wake up.

Precisas de ter a certeza constante de que ele te ama

Todas as mulheres necessitadas têm a necessidade constante de ser constantemente tranquilizado.

They don’t believe their partner’s words of love, and nothing he ever does is proof enough that he is sincere about his feelings.

They keep on looking for signs of their man’s indifference, and they follow him around all the time, constantly asking him whether he loves them. 

Se isto é algo com que se identifica, é altura de perguntar a si próprio se estas dúvidas são produto da sua imaginação ou se têm realmente um fundamento. Têm a ver com a sua baixa autoestima ou são realmente verdadeiras?

Se houver provas concretas de que o seu namorado doesn’t love you enough or even doesn’t care for you at all, then you should ask yourself what you are doing with him in the first place.

However, if you’re making a fuss about nothing and it is obvious he loves you but you keep on doubting him, you’re the definition of a needy girlfriend, and it’s time to do something about your clinginess before you lose him.

There is probably no objective reason for you to question this man’s emotions.

In fact, you probably have some deeply rooted self-esteem issues which need to be worked on and which are causing you to think of yourself as unworthy of someone’s love.

Detesta quando ele passa algum tempo sem si

When you fall in love with someone new, you want to spend every moment of your free time with this person, and you and your boyfriend probably weren’t an exception.

No entanto, todos os conselhos de namoro dizem que estar sempre juntos não é uma receita para um relação saudável .

Besides, you two have been together for a while now, and you shouldn’t be at each other’s necks constantly. 

No entanto, é exatamente isso que você quer. Quer que este tipo não tenha amigos íntimos com quem conviver, que não fale com a família, que não tenha colegas de trabalho com quem passe a hora de almoço, que não tenha interesses nem passatempos. 

De facto, gostaria de ser a única pessoa na vida dele: a única que ele ama, a quem se dedica totalmente e a quem dá toda a sua atenção.

Para ser sincera, segundo a sua opinião, o melhor seria que ele deixasse de existir fora da vossa relação.

He is not allowed to be a son, a friend or a man–he can only be your boyfriend and nothing else.

Sente-se insultada por ele ter vontade de passar algum tempo sozinho ou de interagir com outras pessoas à sua volta porque para si A sua opinião é mais do que suficiente, e tu queres que ele sinta o mesmo.

Bem, detesto ter de te dizer isto, mas esse é um problema teu que tens de resolver sem sufocar este homem que tem a necessidade social de interagir com os outros.

Além disso, estaria realmente satisfeita por saber que ele está ao seu lado apenas para lhe agradar, mas que preferia estar noutro lugar?

Would you like knowing that you’re forcing him to be with you and being aware that he is agreeing to that out of sympathy?

E tu tentas acompanhar-me para todo o lado

Ter amigos em comum com o seu namorado é ótimo. Este tipo de acordo dá-vos muitas oportunidades de passarem tempo juntos, mas também de socializarem com outras pessoas e não se aborrecerem.

No entanto, se não for esse o caso e se os dois tiverem grupos separados, a situação é aparentemente diferente. Neste caso, de acordo com a maioria das dicas de encontros, não é aceitável que seja a acompanhante dele para onde quer que vá.

Don’t get me wrong–it is awesome if you have a great relationship with his friends, but you need to know that they don’t necessarily have to become your friends as well just because they’re close with your boyfriend.

Yes, they must respect you, but they didn’t choose to hang out with you, so you don’t have to tag along to their every get-together.

A última coisa que quer é que eles comecem a evitar o seu namorado porque ele a traz sempre consigo.

Don’t be that type of girlfriend everyone comments on, and give your guy some space!

Afinal de contas, há alguns temas que se quer abordar com o teu melhor amigo without your BF present as well. So, why wouldn’t he have the chance to do the same?

Como lidar com a sua carência?

Ler estes sinais todos juntos e relacionar-se com a maioria deles é tudo menos agradável, certo?

Bem, imagine como tudo isto parece ao seu parceiro e como ele se sente ao saber que a sua namorada é carente e insegura.

Therefore, now that you’ve identified and accepted that you have a problem, the next step is to start working on it and trying to figure out how to not be a needy girlfriend .

I know that you’re not needy and clingy on purpose–it is simply something stronger than you and a personality trait you think you cannot overcome.

Well, we’re here to show you how to deal with this problem, to show you that it is possible to stop being overly needy, and to help you improve your love life .

Of course, this transformation won’t happen overnight and it is not easy–it is a journey which you have to take on your own (with or without the help of your partner), and a journey which requires a lot of self-awareness and inner strength.

However, if you choose to follow our dating tips , we promise you that you’ll understand that these behavior patterns are toxic for your own being and for all of your relationships, and that you’ll successfully manage to change them in a healthy way in no time.

Então, continue a ler e descubra como deixar de ser uma namorada carente . 

3 maneiras de deixar de ser a namorada pegajosa

Concentre-se em si próprio

According to most relationship advice , when you’re trying to overcome your clinginess , the biggest problem becomes all of your spare time and energy. You’re used to directing all of your thoughts and emotions to your boyfriend during the day.

You’ve grown a habit of stalking him and his social media profiles, and you’re used to thinking about him all the time.

So now that you decided to quit, you don’t know what to do with yourself.

Yes, this guy is still present in your life, but you know he can’t be the centre of your world anymore, so you need to come up with a way to stop obsessing over him.

Well, all dating advice say you should redirect all of your energy to the most important person in your world–to yourself.

Instead of wasting most of your time on following your man’s every move, decoding his social media accounts, and decryption his signals, focus on improving yourself. Give yourself all the attention you were putting on him.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not telling you to completely disregard your boyfriend.

I’m just advising you to put yourself first and to work on becoming the a melhor versão possível de si próprio em vez de ficar obcecada com ele.

Trust me–once you boost your self-esteem , get a new hobby, take some alone time or start hanging out with your best friend again, you’ll understand why he needs his personal space, and you’ll want yours as well.

You’ll build a healthy relationship with yourself, you’ll see that there exists a world and a life outside of your romance, and you’ll find it easier to cut  back on your boyfriend.

Deixem-no vir até vós

When you’re a clinger , you feel emotionally neglected. You assume that your partner doesn’t love you enough because he doesn’t put all of his attention on you.

For most of the time, you’re the one who initiates contact, the one who texts and calls first, the one who suggest date nights and other activities, and the one who, in a way, leads a relationship.

Olhando para as coisas desta perspetiva, toda a gente se sentiria indesejada e não amada.

No entanto, já pensou na ideia de que o seu namorado nunca tem a oportunidade de se aproximar de si de qualquer forma, simplesmente porque você chega sempre antes dele?

Que tal deixá-lo vir até si para variar, e ver como as coisas vão continuar a partir daí?

Don’t get involved in mind games–just give him a chance to take over the initiative and to be the one who invites you to date nights , the one who calls you more, and the one who thinks about spending time with you. 

Deixe de estar sempre disponível, porque ele pode começar a tomar isso como garantido.

I assure you that he’ll fall for you more once he starts to miss you a little and once he senses your absence.

You see, this guy isn’t putting effort in your relationship simply because he doesn’t have to.

You’re always near him whatever he does (or doesn’t do), so he never feels like he has to win you over or try to get your attention.

No entanto, se inverteres a situação, será ele a perseguir-te.

Once he sees that he might lose you, he’ll surely start appreciating you more, and you’ll both feel less burdened by your neediness .

Deixar de estar obcecado com o futuro

A maioria dos conselhos de encontros dir-lhe-á que a origem do seu comportamento pegajoso é provavelmente o seu trauma de abandono do passado.

You’re terrified of the mere idea of your loved one walking away from you, so you think that this is the way to keep him by your side.

Basicamente, está a ficar obcecado com o futuro em vez de aproveitar o momento presente.

You’re cracking your mind open with what potentially might happen and with trying to find solutions to problems you realistically don’t have.

Well, this has got to stop. You need to accept that life is uncertain and that you can’t predict anything—the same way you can’t prevent bad things from happening.

Se o seu namorado planeia traí-la ou sugerir uma romper , he will find a way of doing it, despite you constantly being at his back. In fact, you’ll only make things worse with this behavior.

Então, porquê perder mais tempo com os seus medos quando não há nada que possa fazer em relação a eles?

Porquê fazer da sua relação um inferno para si e para o seu parceiro, quando pode tornar cada momento memorável e belo?