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10 Signs You’re A Needy Girlfriend And How To Stop Being One

10 Signs You’re A Needy Girlfriend And How To Stop Being One

You’re overly jealous and possessive

Silhouette of a stressed out black African American businesswoman looking worried and thinking about problems and failure by the office window. She looks depressed or upset about debt or bankruptcy.

The first sign that you’re a clingy girlfriend is your jealous behavior.

It is normal for you to feel uncomfortable at the mere thought of your boyfriend cheating on you or leaving you for some other girl, but if these thoughts keep you up at night without any indication that he is being unfaithful and without any clues that something like this might happen, you have a serious problem.

Besides, a little bit of jealousy is kind of sweet because it shows that you care for your partner. However, this is not what’s going on in your relationship, and your possessiveness is everything but cute.

The truth is that you can’t stand any woman near your BF.

You are constantly paying attention to whether he checks out other girls, whether he flirts with them, and you hate all of his female friends and coworkers without any apparent reason.

It is something you should especially worry about if your possessiveness has a negative impact on your romance.

Trust me–if you keep spending time nagging him about his relationship with every other female in his surroundings and threatening him about doing anything inappropriate, he’ll perceive you as a lunatic, and your jealous behavior will only chase him away.

You call and text him all the time

woman with smartphone and coffee at restaurant

Whenever you’re not around your boyfriend, his phone literally blows up.

You don’t care if he’s with his close friends or family, in a business meeting, if he’s busy or sleeping–you expect him to constantly respond to his text messages and phone calls .

You ask for his current location, for pictures as proof of where he is at, you make unannounced video calls, and you check up on him all the time.

Even when you trust him and know for sure where he is, you have a constant need to hear his voice, to see what he’s been doing since last night , and to keep in touch with him.

Yes, the truth is that with today’s technology, texting and phone calls are a huge part of every modern relationship.

You’re completely right if you expect good morning and good night text messages and if you want to be spending time on the phone with your partner to talk about your days, especially if you haven’t seen each other in a while.

However, trust me that you’ll just become boring if you constantly double and triple text him, without the slightest concern about his obligations and without wondering whether you’re annoying him or not.

So, if you continue doing this, he’ll get tired of you in no time, and it will only have a counterproductive effect.

Related: Why Does Nobody Want To Date Me? 10 Tips To Find Love

And you get nervous when you don’t get a response

Sad tired Asian transgender woman looking through window of dance studio after training

Nevertheless, even a bigger problem than you calling and sending text messages to your boyfriend all the time lies in the fact that you freak out and completely lose it if he doesn’t respond the minute you’ve reached out to him. 

According to you, there doesn’t exist an option in which he, for example, forgot his phone, keeps it in his pocket and doesn’t hear it ringing or that he simply can’t talk to you right now because he is in the middle of something. 

When this happens, you immediately think that he is ignoring you on purpose or that he is putting you on standby because he is talking to some other girl.

You see his lack of response as the end of the world, and instead of giving him some time to reply, you keep on calling and texting him until he picks up the phone.

You should remember that nobody—even your boyfriend—has a duty to talk to you every single minute of every single day.

He might be relaxing and having his alone time , and that is something you have to deal with instead of disturbing him.

You overthink and overanalyze

Lonely woman suffering from depression at home

Another clear sign that you’re a clingy girlfriend is your overthinking.

You put all of your energy and time into analyzing all aspects of your relationship: you’re looking for hidden messages and signs that your boyfriend is doing something behind your back and that he doesn’t love you, you dissect his every move in detail, you reread his texts and try to figure out his mixed signals, even when everything is crystally clear.

Not only that–you’re also burdened with negative thoughts all the time.

You expect the worst possible outcome, and you constantly wonder whether your relationship is coming to its end, without you being able to do anything about it.

When you come to think about all of this, you are convinced that your overthinking problem only bothers you .

After all, you’re the one who has to deal with all of your thoughts, doubts, and questions—he doesn’t have anything to do with that.

However, trust me when I tell you that you project your negative energy on him as well.

Besides, your clinginess is a direct consequence of your overanalyzing, and that is something you have to work on before making any moves regarding it.

You stalk his every move

Woman portrait; close up portrait of a young woman looking through the window.

As it was already stated, neediness often comes hand in hand with obsessive jealousy.

You’re so desperate for your boyfriend that you end up stalking him.

You check his phone, you go through his pockets, and you go all over his social media accounts in a search for a hint that something might be wrong.

You investigate his best friends (and especially his female friends ), his coworkers, and the places he visits.

You literally follow him everywhere he goes, and you think that controlling him is the only way of preventing something bad from happening.

Even when he goes out without you, you’re behind his back every time.

Somehow, you always ‘accidentally’ end up at the same places he might be at, you show up unannounced at his doorstep or in front of his work.

You might think that all of this is cute and a sign of your love for this guy, but trust me when I tell you that it is borderline crazy.

Once this man notices what you’re doing, he’ll think of you as a lunatic, and he’ll run away for his life, as far as possible from you.

Instead of satisfying your urges to know where he is at and what he’s been up to at every moment, do your best to control them.

Instead of wasting all of your time on following this guy around, put all that energy into yourself.

You’re in constant fear of losing him

Close-up of a sad and depressed woman deep in thought outdoors.

When you love someone, it is perfectly natural that you don’t want to lose them. However, if this fear paralyzes you and becomes the only thing you can think about, it is definitely something you should start worrying about.

Your need for this man has grown into a real obsession.

He has become the center of your world, and you’ve managed to convince yourself that your existence without him would be pointless.

You see no meaning in your life if he is not by your side, and you think that you would never make it without him.

So, consequently, him walking away from you or you doing something that might chase him away is your worst nightmare.

However, in your desperate attempts to keep this guy by your side, you are actually doing the complete opposite–you’re making him feel trapped, and you’re distancing himself from you.

You dig through his past

Lonely sad woman

Another thing most needy women do is go through their boyfriend’s past, and you’re no exception.

It is perfectly normal that your partner had a love life before you–he has ex girlfriends whom he probably loved. That is something he can’t and shouldn’t try to erase.

However, everything that happened before you two met is none of your business and shouldn’t concern you.

According to most relationship advice, it is natural for him to briefly update you about his romantic history: to tell you something about his serious and long-term relationships or to mention the most common reason for his breakups.

Nevertheless, knowing this much is simply not enough for you.

You’re jealous of every woman who was ever a part of his life, and you can’t stand the fact that other girls occupied his heart before you came along.

You can’t seem to grasp the idea that there is nothing to worry about, and that these women are a part of his past for a reason.

Instead, you keep wondering if there is a chance for him to go back to any of them, and most importantly–if he loved some of them more than he loves you now.

Not only that, you also made your BF throw away everything that might remind him of his past, you don’t allow him to be on friendly terms with any of his exes, and you keep looking for traces of some emotions he might still have for them.

Beware that you’re the one who keeps bringing up this subject and the one who is putting these girls back into his thoughts.

After all, he never mentions them, and if you look at things realistically, you’ll see that there is nothing to worry about, which means that you’ll be fully responsible if some of his old emotions wake up.

You need constant reassurance that he loves you

Portrait of a happy couple hugging in the street with the woman face in foreground

All needy women have the constant need for constant reassurance.

They don’t believe their partner’s words of love, and nothing he ever does is proof enough that he is sincere about his feelings.

They keep on looking for signs of their man’s indifference, and they follow him around all the time, constantly asking him whether he loves them. 

If this is something you can relate to, it is time to ask yourself whether these doubts are the product of your imagination or they really do have a foundation. Do they have to do with your low self-esteem or are they really true?

If there is concrete evidence that your boyfriend doesn’t love you enough or even doesn’t care for you at all, then you should ask yourself what you are doing with him in the first place.

However, if you’re making a fuss about nothing and it is obvious he loves you but you keep on doubting him, you’re the definition of a needy girlfriend, and it’s time to do something about your clinginess before you lose him.

There is probably no objective reason for you to question this man’s emotions.

In fact, you probably have some deeply rooted self-esteem issues which need to be worked on and which are causing you to think of yourself as unworthy of someone’s love.

You hate it when he spends time without you

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When you fall in love with someone new, you want to spend every moment of your free time with this person, and you and your boyfriend probably weren’t an exception.

However, all dating advice say you and your boyfriend being together all the time is not a recipe for a healthy relationship .

Besides, you two have been together for a while now, and you shouldn’t be at each other’s necks constantly. 

Nevertheless, this is exactly what you want. You would like for this guy to have no close friends he hangs out with, no family he talks to, no coworkers he spends his lunch breaks with, no interests, and no hobbies. 

In fact, you would like to be the only person in his life: the only one he loves, is fully dedicated to, and gives his full attention to.

To be honest, according to you, it would be best if he ceases to exist outside of your relationship.

He is not allowed to be a son, a friend or a man–he can only be your boyfriend and nothing else.

You feel insulted that he has the desire to spend some alone time or to interact with other people around him because for you , him alone is more than enough, and you want him to feel the same way.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but that is your problem which you have to work on without suffocating this man who has the social need to interact with others.

Besides, would you really be content knowing that he is by your side just to please you but that he would rather be somewhere else?

Would you like knowing that you’re forcing him to be with you and being aware that he is agreeing to that out of sympathy?

And you try to tag along everywhere

Sad African woman in oversized sweater feels displeased as being neglegted by boyfriend, needs lively communication, her husband addicted to modern technologies. Family relationships concept

Having mutual friends with your boyfriend is great. This kind of arrangement gives you a lot of chances to spend time together but also to socialize with others and not to get bored.

However, if this is not the case and if the two of you have seperate cliques, the situation is seemingly different I n this case scenario, according to most dating tips , it is not acceptable for you to be his chaperone everywhere he goes.

Don’t get me wrong–it is awesome if you have a great relationship with his friends, but you need to know that they don’t necessarily have to become your friends as well just because they’re close with your boyfriend.

Yes, they must respect you, but they didn’t choose to hang out with you, so you don’t have to tag along to their every get-together.

The last thing you want is for them to start avoiding your BF because he always brings you along.

Don’t be that type of girlfriend everyone comments on, and give your guy some space!

After all, there are some topics you want to tackle with your best friend without your BF present as well. So, why wouldn’t he have the chance to do the same?

How To Deal With Your Neediness?

Portrait of a beautiful brunette woman in autumn park. She is looking into the distance.

Reading these signs all together and relating to most of them is anything but pleasant, right?

Well, imagine how all of this looks to your significant other and how it makes him feel knowing that his girlfriend is needy and insecure .

Therefore, now that you’ve identified and accepted that you have a problem, the next step is to start working on it and trying to figure out how to not be a needy girlfriend .

I know that you’re not needy and clingy on purpose–it is simply something stronger than you and a personality trait you think you cannot overcome.

Well, we’re here to show you how to deal with this problem, to show you that it is possible to stop being overly needy, and to help you improve your love life .

Of course, this transformation won’t happen overnight and it is not easy–it is a journey which you have to take on your own (with or without the help of your partner), and a journey which requires a lot of self-awareness and inner strength.

However, if you choose to follow our dating tips , we promise you that you’ll understand that these behavior patterns are toxic for your own being and for all of your relationships, and that you’ll successfully manage to change them in a healthy way in no time.

So, read on and find out how to stop being needy girlfriend . 

3 Ways To Stop Being The Clingy Girlfriend

Focus on yourself

Cropped image of smiling brunette woman in eyeglasses reading book in park

According to most relationship advice , when you’re trying to overcome your clinginess , the biggest problem becomes all of your spare time and energy. You’re used to directing all of your thoughts and emotions to your boyfriend during the day.

You’ve grown a habit of stalking him and his social media profiles, and you’re used to thinking about him all the time.

So now that you decided to quit, you don’t know what to do with yourself.

Yes, this guy is still present in your life, but you know he can’t be the centre of your world anymore, so you need to come up with a way to stop obsessing over him.

Well, all dating advice say you should redirect all of your energy to the most important person in your world–to yourself.

Instead of wasting most of your time on following your man’s every move, decoding his social media accounts, and decryption his signals, focus on improving yourself. Give yourself all the attention you were putting on him.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not telling you to completely disregard your boyfriend.

I’m just advising you to put yourself first and to work on becoming the best possible version of yourself instead of obsessing about him.

Trust me–once you boost your self-esteem , get a new hobby, take some alone time or start hanging out with your best friend again, you’ll understand why he needs his personal space, and you’ll want yours as well.

You’ll build a healthy relationship with yourself, you’ll see that there exists a world and a life outside of your romance, and you’ll find it easier to cut  back on your boyfriend.

Let him come to you

Side view of beautiful girl looking at a mobile phone while lying in bed

When you’re a clinger , you feel emotionally neglected. You assume that your partner doesn’t love you enough because he doesn’t put all of his attention on you.

For most of the time, you’re the one who initiates contact, the one who texts and calls first, the one who suggest date nights and other activities, and the one who, in a way, leads a relationship.

Looking at things from this perspective, everyone would feel unwanted and unloved.

However, have you ever considered the idea that your boyfriend never gets the chance to approach you in any way simply because you always beat him to it?

How about letting him come to you for a change, and see how things will go on from there?

Don’t get involved in mind games–just give him a chance to take over the initiative and to be the one who invites you to date nights , the one who calls you more, and the one who thinks about spending time with you. 

Just stop being so available all the time because he might start taking that for granted.

I assure you that he’ll fall for you more once he starts to miss you a little and once he senses your absence.

You see, this guy isn’t putting effort in your relationship simply because he doesn’t have to.

You’re always near him whatever he does (or doesn’t do), so he never feels like he has to win you over or try to get your attention.

However, if you turn the tables, he will be the one chasing you.

Once he sees that he might lose you, he’ll surely start appreciating you more, and you’ll both feel less burdened by your neediness .

Stop obsessing about the future

Depressed young woman sitting on bed at home

Most dating advice will tell you that the source of your clingy behavior is probably your abandonment trauma from the past.

You’re terrified of the mere idea of your loved one walking away from you, so you think that this is the way to keep him by your side.

Basically, you are obsessing over the future instead of enjoying the present moment.

You’re cracking your mind open with what potentially might happen and with trying to find solutions to problems you realistically don’t have.

Well, this has got to stop. You need to accept that life is uncertain and that you can’t predict anything—the same way you can’t prevent bad things from happening.

If your boyfriend plans on cheating on you or suggesting a break up , he will find a way of doing it, despite you constantly being at his back. In fact, you’ll only make things worse with this behavior.

So, why waste any more of your time on your fears when there is nothing you can actually do about them?

Why make your relationship a living hell for both you and your partner, when you can make every moment of it memorable and beautiful?

10 Signs You’re A Needy Girlfriend And How To Stop Being One