3 coisas a ter em conta quando o teu ex segue em frente antes de ti

Infelizmente, depois de terminarem uma relação duradoura, muitos casais começam a agir como se seguir em frente fosse uma competição.

Who will be the first one to find a new partner? Who will post more selfies which show that they’re doing great and that they don’t miss a thing from their previous life? Sounds familiar, right?

Quer queira admitir ou não, de alguma forma acabou por ser arrastada para a mesma situação. E o que é ainda pior, parece que o seu ex-namorado seguiu em frente antes de si.

You’re still lamenting your love and you’re still grieving your relationship while he’s out there, living his life like you were never a part of it. Naturally, you feel like the weaker one and like the one who loved more.

Se isto é algo com que se identifica, aqui estão algumas coisas a ter em conta.

1. A cura é um processo

First and foremost, you need to remember that healthy healing never happens overnight. Yes, it is possible for you to deceive yourself and others, lying that you’ve seguiu em frente completamente e esqueceu tudo sobre o seu passado em apenas alguns dias.

No entanto, isso está longe de ser verdade. De facto, reprimir as suas emoções e fingir que é melhor do que realmente é só vai piorar as coisas.

A sua dor vai chegar até si, mais cedo ou mais tarde, por isso é muito melhor processar as coisas a tempo do que escová-las para debaixo do tapete, esperando que desapareçam por magia.

Just because it looks like your ex has continued with his life and just because it appears he’s forgotten all about you, doesn’t make it true.

Ele pode estar a fazer tudo isto de propósito e para a magoar. Ou talvez pense que não é viril sofrer, por isso faz-se passar por um tipo duro que deixou o passado para trás.

Either way, this shouldn’t concern you. Even if he really did manage to move on so quickly, the last thing you should do is compare yourself to him.

We all recover at a different pace. Just because your process is taking a bit longer, it doesn’t make you any weaker and it doesn’t mean that you won’t move on eventually.

2. This doesn’t annul your history

A primeira coisa que provavelmente lhe passa pela cabeça no momento em que vê que o seu ex seguiu em frente é o facto de ele nunca a ter amado a sério.

You start to think that you were irrelevant, that you were just one girl in a row for him and that you didn’t leave any impact on his life whatsoever.

Let’s face it—these thoughts can hurt even more than the rutura itself. After all, it seems he’s gotten over you so fast that you start doubting your entire relationship and everything that you two went through.

Bem, deixem-me dizer-vos que pensar assim é um grande erro.

First of all, your relationship is a part of your past and nobody can change that. You shouldn’t allow this man’s present actions to destroy your memory of everything beautiful you two went through.

No matter what he is doing right now, he can’t erase the fact that he was your boyfriend and that you guys shared some intense feelings.

3. Moving on isn’t just jumping into a new relationship

The last but definitely not the least important thing you mustn’t forget when your ex moves on before you is that a relação de ricochete doesn’t equal healing. Moving forward is much more than finding a new romantic partner.

Just because you saw him with another girl, it doesn’t mean that he’s gotten over you completely.

This is especially the case if your ex has been jumping from one relationship to the next because that is living proof that he can’t cope with the fact that he’s lost you.

So, please, don’t even think of looking for comfort in other guys because you’ll just hurt yourself even more. Don’t do anything you’re not ready for just to get even with your ex or to meet the world’s expectations.

Instead, wait until you’re ready to make some changes in your life. Take all the time you need and let it do its magic.