3 cose da ricordare quando il vostro ex se ne va prima di voi

Purtroppo, dopo la fine di una relazione a lungo termine, molte coppie iniziano a comportarsi come se andare avanti fosse una gara.

Who will be the first one to find a new partner? Who will post more selfies which show that they’re doing great and that they don’t miss a thing from their previous life? Sounds familiar, right?

Che vi piaccia o meno ammetterlo, in qualche modo siete stati trascinati nella stessa situazione. E quel che è peggio, sembra che il vostro ex ragazzo sia andato avanti prima di voi.

You’re still lamenting your love and you’re still grieving your relationship while he’s out there, living his life like you were never a part of it. Naturally, you feel like the weaker one and like the one who loved more.

Se questo è un caso che vi riguarda, ecco alcune cose da ricordare.

1. La guarigione è un processo

First and foremost, you need to remember that healthy healing never happens overnight. Yes, it is possible for you to deceive yourself and others, lying that you’ve andato avanti completamente e dimenticare il proprio passato in pochi giorni.

Tuttavia, questo non è affatto vero. Anzi, reprimere le proprie emozioni e fingere di essere migliori di quello che si è in realtà non fa che peggiorare le cose.

Il dolore prima o poi si fa sentire, quindi è molto meglio elaborare le cose in tempo piuttosto che nasconderle sotto il tappeto, aspettandosi che spariscano magicamente.

Just because it looks like your ex has continued with his life and just because it appears he’s forgotten all about you, doesn’t make it true.

Potrebbe fare tutto questo di proposito e ferirti. O forse pensa che non sia virile soffrire e quindi si atteggia a duro che si è lasciato il passato alle spalle.

Either way, this shouldn’t concern you. Even if he really did manage to move on so quickly, the last thing you should do is compare yourself to him.

We all recover at a different pace. Just because your process is taking a bit longer, it doesn’t make you any weaker and it doesn’t mean that you won’t move on eventually.

2. This doesn’t annul your history

La prima cosa che probabilmente vi passa per la testa appena vedete che il vostro ex è andato avanti è il fatto che non vi ha mai amato davvero.

You start to think that you were irrelevant, that you were just one girl in a row for him and that you didn’t leave any impact on his life whatsoever.

Let’s face it—these thoughts can hurt even more than the rottura itself. After all, it seems he’s gotten over you so fast that you start doubting your entire relationship and everything that you two went through.

Ebbene, lasciate che vi dica che pensare in questo modo è un errore madornale.

First of all, your relationship is a part of your past and nobody can change that. You shouldn’t allow this man’s present actions to destroy your memory of everything beautiful you two went through.

No matter what he is doing right now, he can’t erase the fact that he was your boyfriend and that you guys shared some intense feelings.

3. Moving on isn’t just jumping into a new relationship

The last but definitely not the least important thing you mustn’t forget when your ex moves on before you is that a relazione di rimbalzo doesn’t equal healing. Moving forward is much more than finding a new romantic partner.

Just because you saw him with another girl, it doesn’t mean that he’s gotten over you completely.

This is especially the case if your ex has been jumping from one relationship to the next because that is living proof that he can’t cope with the fact that he’s lost you.

So, please, don’t even think of looking for comfort in other guys because you’ll just hurt yourself even more. Don’t do anything you’re not ready for just to get even with your ex or to meet the world’s expectations.

Instead, wait until you’re ready to make some changes in your life. Take all the time you need and let it do its magic.