3 razões comuns (mas não surpreendentes) pelas quais os homens se tornam emocionalmente distantes

Every woman who experienced that awful feeling of a guy pulling away surely felt powerless and weak. It’s a scenario in which you can’t do much—except give him space to clear his things out.

Se se intrometer e forçar demasiado as coisas, pode fazer com que ele se afaste ainda mais de si. E aí fica desamparada.

Ficamos a pensar no que terá corrido mal e como é que as coisas chegaram a este ponto.

Emotional distancing is a sneaky bastard. You’ll never know when it’s going to hit you and why. And what’s even worse, there is no exact magic formula to fix it.

Unfortunately, you can’t do anything else except play along with his game and wait for the moment he decides to talk to you. Then, you’ll be on the team that’s winning.

Instead of obsessing about it and questioning your own actions, let it go because you’re not the one to blame for that. I know because I’ve been there, too.

I also struggled to find an answer to the question, “Why? Why is he pulling away?”

Ver também: Porque é que os homens se afastam nas fases iniciais

Quero fazer com que se sinta melhor e quero convencê-la de que as coisas ainda não acabaram. Há maneiras de ser uma pessoa melhor e mais atenciosa e de o compreender verdadeiramente.

But, first, you have to get why he’s acting the way he is in order to try and fix it. If you care enough for him, you will do everything that’s in your power to get him back.

Here are some of the reasons why he’s emotionally distancing from you:

You are the one who’s always in charge

Here’s the thing and I’m not being offensive here—just realistic because things are like this. Men like to be leaders. They like to think they have the final word. They are made like that. If you go back to your childhood, don’t you remember boys were always competing over every little thing?

That’s because they have the need to show off their masculinity. That may be the reason he’s pulling away from you—you’re not letting him be your rock. Now, I know you don’t need a rock and I know you don’t need a protector. That’s why you were acting like this in the first place.

Mas, deve saber que as mulheres fortes e independentes são intimidantes para os homens. I’m not saying you have to submit yourself to him. You just have to just let some things slide. Let him initiate things—let him ‘steer the wheel’ for a change. After all, relationships are all about the compromise, so being the one in charge all the time is not so healthy for your relationship, after all.

Ele está stressado

A única coisa que nós, mulheres, temos de compreender e aceitar desde já é que: OS HOMENS NÃO FUNCIONAM COMO NÓS!

Eles são completamente diferentes. Quando estão stressados, precisam de algum tempo a sós.

Precisam do seu lugar seguro e de um ambiente não ameaçador onde se sintam confortáveis. Precisam de algum tempo para reunir os seus pensamentos e decidir qual é a atitude correcta a tomar.

Women, on the other hand, do quite the opposite. Our first instinct is to let it all out. I’ve never met a woman who kept her mouth shut at the question: “Is everything ok?”

If not the first time, then the second or third time you’ve asked the question. We have the need to talk it all out.

That’s where the problem is. If you see that your guy is being unusually quiet and he refuses to talk to you, it’s because he needs some time alone.

Ele nunca vos dirá: “Well, you know dear…I have some issues and some things on my mind. I would really like to share them with you?” I mean come on, that even doesn’t happen in the movies—it’s so surreal.

Se o pressionar e intimidar para que fale consigo sobre o seu problema, ele afastar-se-á ainda mais de si. Se ele quiser a sua ajuda ou conselho, ele pedirá.

Don’t insist on offering your opinion as a cure for his problems. If he reaches out to you, be there for him and hear him out. Until then, just let him sort his s**t out by himself.

You’re being needy

As I said before. Some things are not your fault. It’s strange to say, but being needy is not your fault either.

I know that some women can’t shake that behavior off. That is a state of mind.

Porque é que isto nos acontece? Penso sinceramente que as mulheres que se tornam carentes tiveram más experiências antes, por isso tornam-se carentes por medo.

Tornam-se carentes porque têm medo de perder esse homem que as está a tratar como elas merecem.

But, truth to be told, we really can go too far in the whole thing and that’s when things go south.

Os homens detestam quando agimos assim porque têm a sensação de que estão a ser sufocados.

Men like to feel wanted and desired—not needed. Their only fear is that they will lose their freedom in a relationship.

It’s not that they hate relationships. On the contrary, there is nothing better than being with a woman who they care for. But, there is that fear a woman will suck them dry.

So, play this one wisely because as soon as they get the feeling you’re being too needy, they will start pulling away out of fear they’re losing their freedom.

It’s hard to keep a happy and healthy relationship. But remember, you’re not in it alone—compromise and talk are the cure for every relationship’s bump in the road.

Ver também: O teu distanciamento está a matar-me