4 coisas que deve saber antes de voltar para um traidor

Todos nós já passámos por isso, de uma forma ou de outra.

It’s never easy trying to piece yourself back together after having your world shattered by a cheating partner, all the while learning to ama-te a ti próprio novamente.

É preciso muita energia, paciência e fé para ultrapassar uma separação tão traumática, especialmente quando se trata da pessoa com quem planeou toda a sua vida.

A parte mais desgastante do processo de o esquecer é o seu pedido incessante para o aceitar de volta.

He’ll faithfully promise it was merely a lapse in judgement that meant less than nothing and he would never dream of doing it again.

As if it wasn’t difficult enough as it is, now you have to fight your persistent urge to forgive him because you just don’t want to stop loving him.

E quem vos pode culpar!

Até há pouco tempo, ele era o vosso mundo.

Ele era o teu melhor amigo, your rock, and the person you could laugh for hours on end with…

And now, he’s just somebody you barely recognize anymore, but don’t want to let go of.

If you’ve recently been cheated on and you’re contemplating taking him back, I feel you. I really do.

It’s truly devastating letting go of somebody who means that much to you, but sometimes, even though you can’t see it at the time, that is exactly what you should do.

Gostava de ter sabido certas coisas antes de ter perdoado o meu ex traidor and went back into that emotional turmoil, but trust me, it’s never the same.

Learn from somebody who’s been through the wringer, and let my mistakes help you make the best decision for yourself.

Eis tudo o que deve saber antes de decidir aceitá-lo de volta.

1. Os seus problemas passados nunca deixarão de o assombrar (por muito que os ignore)

If you forgive him and decide to take him back, at first, it’s going to feel like pure bliss.

He’ll be on his absolute best behaviour and he’ll make amends every chance he gets.

Ele vai encher-te de amor, carinho e gratidão e tu vais sentir-te como uma rainha.

You will be able to temporarily ignore the cold fact that he did in fact cheat on you. You’ll try to put it behind you, and for a while, you’ll succeed.

Mas, um dia, volta a aparecer.

He’s going to say something or do something that’s immediately going to take you back to the day you found out, and you will remember what he’s capable of.

You’ll try to ignore it, but it won’t be possible.

Ele tomou-te por garantida, decidiu dormir com outra mulher, and you’ll never be able to fully forgive and forget, no matter how hard you’ll want to.

2. Getting past his infidelity is going to be hard work and it won’t happen overnight

You’ll actively try to move on and stop focusing on what he did. You may even consider therapy.

You’ll do whatever it takes and you will truly try to move past this.

But the thing is, it’s always going to be in the back of your head.

When you walk down the street and he merely glances at another woman passing by, you’ll be pissed.

He’ll be texting somebody, and all you’ll be able to think about is who the other person is and if he’s making a fool out of you again.

Nenhuma terapia será capaz de o fazer esquecer, e a paranoia e a raiva estarão sempre presentes.

Learning to live with this is a long, draining process that doesn’t always work, and sometimes, that ends up being for the best.

3. As tuas inseguranças vão vir à tona

At times, you’ll wonder what she looks like. Is she prettier, thinner, or younger than you?

Is she more easy-going and carefree? Does she make him laugh like you can’t?

Or is she simply a beast in the sheets that you just can’t compete with?

Todas estas perguntas vão surgir na sua cabeça e vão deixá-lo tão inseguro quanto possível.

It’s going to be exhausting as hell comparing yourself to his miúda do lado.

You’ll hate it that he made you so weak and self-conscious, but it’s going to be your reality whether you like it or not.

4. The fact that “the other woman” is still out there somewhere will be torture

You won’t be able to get her out of your head. You’ll try to find out her name, where she lives, and whatever else you can get your hands on.

You’ll get your girls to stalk her on redes sociais. The deeper you go, the harder it’s going to be to let go and, frankly, you won’t want to.

And the worst part is if you find out she is hot, young, and everything you’re not, it’s over.

You’ll never stop comparing yourself to her and you’ll be secretly pissed all the time.

Vai torturar-se constantemente e a sua relação nunca vai sobreviver a isso.

São raros os casos em que o parceiro que foi traído é realmente capaz de ultrapassar tudo isto e de encontrar em si próprio a capacidade de perdoar verdadeiramente e começar de novo.

Mas, a não ser que sinta que pode viver com todas estas coisas infelizes que o vão apanhar num momento ou noutro, sugiro que se retire desta situação e se cure noutro lugar.

He won’t bring you peace that you need right now, so let him go, and find your strength and confidence again before you make any permanent decisions.

Take it from someone who’s lived this nightmare and learned the hard way. True love awaits you… it’s just not with him.