4 cosas que deberías saber antes de volver con un infiel

Todos hemos pasado por eso de una forma u otra.

It’s never easy trying to piece yourself back together after having your world shattered by a cheating partner, all the while learning to quiérete a ti mismo otra vez.

Se necesita mucha energía, paciencia y fe para superar una ruptura tan traumática, sobre todo cuando se trata de la persona en torno a la que planeaste toda tu vida.

Lo más agotador del proceso de superación son sus incesantes súplicas para que vuelva.

He’ll faithfully promise it was merely a lapse in judgement that meant less than nothing and he would never dream of doing it again.

As if it wasn’t difficult enough as it is, now you have to fight your persistent urge to forgive him because you just don’t want to stop loving him.

¡Y quién puede culparte!

Hasta hace poco, él era tu mundo.

Era tu mejor amigo, your rock, and the person you could laugh for hours on end with…

And now, he’s just somebody you barely recognize anymore, but don’t want to let go of.

If you’ve recently been cheated on and you’re contemplating taking him back, I feel you. I really do.

It’s truly devastating letting go of somebody who means that much to you, but sometimes, even though you can’t see it at the time, that is exactly what you should do.

Ojalá hubiera sabido ciertas cosas antes de perdonar mi ex infiel and went back into that emotional turmoil, but trust me, it’s never the same.

Learn from somebody who’s been through the wringer, and let my mistakes help you make the best decision for yourself.

Aquí tienes todo lo que debes tener en cuenta antes de decidirte a recuperarlo.

1. Tus problemas del pasado nunca dejarán de perseguirte (por mucho que los ignores)

If you forgive him and decide to take him back, at first, it’s going to feel like pure bliss.

He’ll be on his absolute best behaviour and he’ll make amends every chance he gets.

Te colmará de amor, afecto y gratitud, y te sentirás como una reina.

You will be able to temporarily ignore the cold fact that he did in fact cheat on you. You’ll try to put it behind you, and for a while, you’ll succeed.

Pero un día volverá arrastrándose.

He’s going to say something or do something that’s immediately going to take you back to the day you found out, and you will remember what he’s capable of.

You’ll try to ignore it, but it won’t be possible.

Te dio por sentado, decidió acostarse con otra mujer, and you’ll never be able to fully forgive and forget, no matter how hard you’ll want to.

2. Getting past his infidelity is going to be hard work and it won’t happen overnight

You’ll actively try to move on and stop focusing on what he did. You may even consider therapy.

You’ll do whatever it takes and you will truly try to move past this.

But the thing is, it’s always going to be in the back of your head.

When you walk down the street and he merely glances at another woman passing by, you’ll be pissed.

He’ll be texting somebody, and all you’ll be able to think about is who the other person is and if he’s making a fool out of you again.

Ninguna cantidad de terapia va a ser capaz de hacerte olvidar, y tu paranoia y tu ira siempre van a estar ahí.

Learning to live with this is a long, draining process that doesn’t always work, and sometimes, that ends up being for the best.

3. Tus inseguridades van a salir a la superficie

At times, you’ll wonder what she looks like. Is she prettier, thinner, or younger than you?

Is she more easy-going and carefree? Does she make him laugh like you can’t?

Or is she simply a beast in the sheets that you just can’t compete with?

Todas estas preguntas te rondarán por la cabeza y te harán sentir tan inseguro como sea posible.

It’s going to be exhausting as hell comparing yourself to his chica de compañía.

You’ll hate it that he made you so weak and self-conscious, but it’s going to be your reality whether you like it or not.

4. The fact that “the other woman” is still out there somewhere will be torture

You won’t be able to get her out of your head. You’ll try to find out her name, where she lives, and whatever else you can get your hands on.

You’ll get your girls to stalk her on redes sociales. The deeper you go, the harder it’s going to be to let go and, frankly, you won’t want to.

And the worst part is if you find out she is hot, young, and everything you’re not, it’s over.

You’ll never stop comparing yourself to her and you’ll be secretly pissed all the time.

Te torturarás constantemente y tu relación nunca sobrevivirá a esto.

Son raros los casos en los que la pareja engañada es realmente capaz de superar todo esto y encontrar en sí misma el verdadero perdón y empezar de nuevo.

Pero a menos que sientas que puedes vivir con todas estas cosas desafortunadas que te van a alcanzar en un momento u otro, te sugiero que te retires de esta situación y te cures en otra parte.

He won’t bring you peace that you need right now, so let him go, and find your strength and confidence again before you make any permanent decisions.

Take it from someone who’s lived this nightmare and learned the hard way. True love awaits you… it’s just not with him.