4 Consequências de seguir em frente antes de se curar
Quando se está a passar por uma separação dolorosa, o seu principal desejo é recuperar e continuar a sua vida o mais rapidamente possível.
Queres esquecer tudo o que aconteceu, apagar todas as tuas memórias dolorosas, levantar-te e tornar o teu coração partido inteiro outra vez.
And that’s perfectly normal. After all, who enjoys being overwhelmed by sadness and having their life put on standby?
Your desire to move on is actually a good thing – it means you still have hope for a better tomorrow and optimism to go back to your old self.
However, it’s dangerous to believe that things will be fixed and you’ll recover overnight.
Seguir em frente demasiado depressa e tentar fazê-lo sem se curar primeiro pode causar mais danos do que benefícios.
De facto, eis as consequências mais comuns que daí podem advir.
1. You complicate your life by jumping into a rebound relationship…
O erro número um que a maioria das pessoas comete logo após passar por uma separação dolorosa é entrar numa nova relação demasiado cedo.
Sim, há situações em que substituir o seu antigo parceiro romântico por alguém novo é o melhor remédio para o seu coração destroçado e, por vezes, pode ser a forma mais eficaz de ultrapassar o seu ex.
However, in most cases, people only deceive themselves, thinking they’re completely ready to step into a new relationship, when they’re actually nowhere near it.
In fact, this kind of arrangement can only complicate your life further on and this is the last thing you need at this point – you already have too much weight on your back.
As long as you don’t care who your new boyfriend will be and are only concerned with getting yourself involved in a fresh relationship, it’s more than an obvious sign that you’re not in a search of a new love – you’re looking for a rebound.
Before you know it, you’ll find yourself in a situationship you haven’t thought through and have trouble getting out of.
Instead of putting your entire focus on making yourself feel better and getting over your ex, whether you like it or not, you’ll simply have to invest some energy in your new relationship.
This relationship can’t have a future because it isn’t built on a healthy foundation, which means a breakup is inevitable.
E isso é algo de que precisa realmente neste momento?
2. …which can be toxic
However, what’s even worse than getting yourself involved in a relação de ricochete that has no future is the fact that you lower your standards when you’re trying to seguir em frente demasiado depressa.
Quer encontrar um novo parceiro a todo o custo e a única coisa que lhe interessa é não estar sozinho, o que nunca pode trazer nada de bom à sua vida.
This way, you can easily find someone who’ll take advantage of your vulnerabilities and deepen your emotional wounds even more.
You can find yourself stuck with a man who’s wrong for you in more ways than one, but you’ll fail to see that in time because your desire to move on right away has blindsighted you.
Além disso, a bagagem emocional que carrega para esta relação torna-a tóxica.
You can never give your entire heart to this new person if you still have feelings for your ex. You can’t give him your trust if you still have issues from your past.
You can’t give him your undivided attention if your thoughts are elsewhere. You can’t give him your entire self if parts of you are still trapped in the past.
Besides, this kind of arrangement is unfair towards your new boyfriend, who doesn’t have a clue what he’s facing but has to deal with your emotional baggage.
You’re leading him on and by doing so, you’re becoming just like your ex.
3. You try healing in all the wrong ways…
A pior consequência de tentar seguir em frente in an unhealthy way lies in all the things you actually do while you’re subconsciously trying to heal.
You engage in meaningless affairs, one night stands, in potentially dangerous sexual behavior… Not only that – there are some people who get themselves involved with drugs or other addictions.
You might think that piling on the work or hitting the gym can’t be bad, but that’s also a form of destructive behavior if you overdo it and do it for all the wrong reasons.
Manter-se ocupado durante o processo de cura é o conselho número um que todos os especialistas em encontros lhe darão, mas também tem de reservar algum tempo para processar os seus sentimentos em vez de fugir deles.
It’s clear that you’re trying to repress your emotions and act like they don’t exist. And we both know that’s never a solution.
De facto, este tipo de comportamento pode causar mais danos a longo prazo do que se possa pensar, podendo provocar depressão grave, ansiedade e outros problemas de saúde mental.
4. …but your pain gets to you sooner or later
What everyone moving on without healing forgets is that you can’t expect the pain and the bagagem emocional to magically disappear just because you decided to pretend it’s not there.
You won’t erase them by burying them – in fact, you’re just digging them deeper and with time, they’ll become a part of you and start defining you as a person.
Nevertheless, the point is that all of these issues and feelings will reappear on the surface when you least expect them to, after you think they’re long gone.
One day, they’ll hit you out of nowhere and you won’t know what happened.
O pior é que as emoções negativas se multiplicam com o tempo se as ignorarmos.
Basically, the pain that’ll catch up to you in the future will be much more intense than it is now.
Sooner or later, your past demons will come knocking on your door to remind you of the things you owe them – to destroy the happiness it took you so long to build.
And when that happens, they’ll be so strong and so close that there’ll be no point in trying to escape them.
In a nutshell, there’s no need for you to play all tough because repressing your emotions actually only makes you a coward.
Em vez disso, lidar com elas a tempo e fazer as coisas de forma saudável, um passo de cada vez, é o que faz de si uma pessoa madura e forte.
