4 conseguenze dell'andare avanti prima di guarire
Quando si attraversa una rottura dolorosa, il desiderio numero uno è quello di rimettersi in piedi e di continuare la propria vita il prima possibile.
Volete dimenticare tutto quello che è successo, cancellare tutti i vostri ricordi dolorosi, rialzarvi e rendere il vostro cuore spezzato di nuovo intero.
And that’s perfectly normal. After all, who enjoys being overwhelmed by sadness and having their life put on standby?
Your desire to move on is actually a good thing – it means you still have hope for a better tomorrow and optimism to go back to your old self.
However, it’s dangerous to believe that things will be fixed and you’ll recover overnight.
Andare avanti troppo in fretta e cercare di farlo senza prima guarire può causare più danni che benefici.
In effetti, ecco le conseguenze più comuni che ciò può comportare.
1. You complicate your life by jumping into a rebound relationship…
L'errore numero uno che la maggior parte delle persone commette subito dopo una dolorosa rottura è lanciarsi troppo presto in una nuova relazione.
Sì, ci sono situazioni in cui sostituire l'ex partner romantico con qualcuno di nuovo è il miglior rimedio per il vostro cuore infranto e a volte può essere il modo più efficace per dimenticare il vostro ex.
However, in most cases, people only deceive themselves, thinking they’re completely ready to step into a new relationship, when they’re actually nowhere near it.
In fact, this kind of arrangement can only complicate your life further on and this is the last thing you need at this point – you already have too much weight on your back.
As long as you don’t care who your new boyfriend will be and are only concerned with getting yourself involved in a fresh relationship, it’s more than an obvious sign that you’re not in a search of a new love – you’re looking for a rebound.
Before you know it, you’ll find yourself in a situationship you haven’t thought through and have trouble getting out of.
Instead of putting your entire focus on making yourself feel better and getting over your ex, whether you like it or not, you’ll simply have to invest some energy in your new relationship.
This relationship can’t have a future because it isn’t built on a healthy foundation, which means a breakup is inevitable.
Ed è qualcosa di cui avete davvero bisogno in questo momento?
2. …which can be toxic
However, what’s even worse than getting yourself involved in a relazione di rimbalzo that has no future is the fact that you lower your standards when you’re trying to andare avanti troppo velocemente.
Volete trovare a tutti i costi un nuovo partner e l'unica cosa che vi interessa è non rimanere soli, cosa che non potrà mai portare nulla di buono nella vostra vita.
This way, you can easily find someone who’ll take advantage of your vulnerabilities and deepen your emotional wounds even more.
You can find yourself stuck with a man who’s wrong for you in more ways than one, but you’ll fail to see that in time because your desire to move on right away has blindsighted you.
Inoltre, il bagaglio emotivo che vi portate dietro in questa relazione la rende tossica.
You can never give your entire heart to this new person if you still have feelings for your ex. You can’t give him your trust if you still have issues from your past.
You can’t give him your undivided attention if your thoughts are elsewhere. You can’t give him your entire self if parts of you are still trapped in the past.
Besides, this kind of arrangement is unfair towards your new boyfriend, who doesn’t have a clue what he’s facing but has to deal with your emotional baggage.
You’re leading him on and by doing so, you’re becoming just like your ex.
3. You try healing in all the wrong ways…
La peggiore conseguenza del tentativo di andare avanti in an unhealthy way lies in all the things you actually do while you’re subconsciously trying to heal.
You engage in meaningless affairs, one night stands, in potentially dangerous sexual behavior… Not only that – there are some people who get themselves involved with drugs or other addictions.
You might think that piling on the work or hitting the gym can’t be bad, but that’s also a form of destructive behavior if you overdo it and do it for all the wrong reasons.
Tenersi occupati durante il processo di guarigione è il consiglio numero uno che tutti gli esperti di appuntamenti vi daranno, ma dovete anche dedicare un po' di tempo a elaborare i vostri sentimenti invece di scappare da essi.
It’s clear that you’re trying to repress your emotions and act like they don’t exist. And we both know that’s never a solution.
In realtà, questo tipo di comportamento può causare più danni a lungo termine di quanto si possa pensare, causando potenzialmente depressione, ansia e altri problemi di salute mentale.
4. …but your pain gets to you sooner or later
What everyone moving on without healing forgets is that you can’t expect the pain and the bagaglio emotivo to magically disappear just because you decided to pretend it’s not there.
You won’t erase them by burying them – in fact, you’re just digging them deeper and with time, they’ll become a part of you and start defining you as a person.
Nevertheless, the point is that all of these issues and feelings will reappear on the surface when you least expect them to, after you think they’re long gone.
One day, they’ll hit you out of nowhere and you won’t know what happened.
La cosa peggiore è che le emozioni negative si accumulano nel tempo se le ignoriamo.
Basically, the pain that’ll catch up to you in the future will be much more intense than it is now.
Sooner or later, your past demons will come knocking on your door to remind you of the things you owe them – to destroy the happiness it took you so long to build.
And when that happens, they’ll be so strong and so close that there’ll be no point in trying to escape them.
In a nutshell, there’s no need for you to play all tough because repressing your emotions actually only makes you a coward.
Invece, affrontarli per tempo e fare le cose in modo sano, un passo alla volta, è ciò che fa di voi una persona matura e forte.
