5 truques para o convencer a comprometer-se (e 5 coisas que o vão assustar)

Compromisso. Que palavra tão grande e assustadora.

Conseguir que um homem se comprometa é provavelmente o objetivo final de todas as mulheres, para que ele se estabeleça numa relação para o resto da sua vida.

Actually, there is nothing scary about commitment. Anyone can commit. It’s not a matter of possibility. It’s a matter of choice.

Por isso, da próxima vez que alguém tentar persuadi-lo de que não é capaz de se comprometer, lembre-se que isso é uma grande treta!

O empenhamento é uma questão de escolha pessoal.

It’s a matter of trusting someone and putting yourself and your future happiness into someone else’s hands.

E não só para si, mas também para a outra parte.

Okay now, I know I’ve said commitment is a matter of personal choice, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t influence someone’s personal choice – not manipulate, but guide a person to do what they’ve probably already wanted but for some reason didn’t do.

It’s completely logical really.

Pelo lado positivo, ao ouvir os conselhos sobre como conseguir que ele se comprometa e o que não fazer, transformar-se-á numa pessoa melhor e mais atenciosa.

You’ll pay attention to your actions and how they affect others. Let’s say this is definitely a win-win situation.

COMPROMISSO: Dá-lhe cabo da cabeça

Tens de te esforçar muito para o impressionar. Tens de dar o teu melhor.

Let’s face it, if he’s not impressed, he won’t commit to you, and frankly, why should he?

You really have to show him that you’re special, that you’re not like every other girl.

I’m sure you won’t have any problems with that if you really care about him.

SCARE AWAY: You’re suffocating him

Tentar impressioná-lo é uma coisa, mas estar sempre em cima dele é outra completamente diferente.

Há que saber onde traçar o limite. É preciso saber até que ponto a atenção é suficiente para o manter interessado e não o afugentar.

His personal space means everything to him as it does to any man—actually to all of us.

It’s essential we retreat to our safe places and spend some time away from everyone.

If you’re all over the place trying to impress him, it’s very possible that you’ll achieve exactly the opposite.

Tente manter um equilíbrio entre não o assustar e dar-lhe algum espaço para respirar.

COMPROMISSO: Manter as coisas divertidas

Don’t make things too serious too soon. Avoid talking about serious stuff because you’re not at that stage of the relationship yet.

Everything happens when it’s time for it to happen.

So, for starters, show him that you’re fun to be around.

That way, he won’t think twice about coming to you when he wants to relax and have fun.

Don’t be that girl who brings stress and drama in a relationship—no one likes that.

MEDO DE MEDO: Chateação

It’s never a good idea to start nagging about everything he does wrong, but it’s especially a bad idea when you do it at the beginning of your relationship.

If you’re bothered by something he does, wait for your relationship to get to a more serious level, and then talk about it like two mature adults.

If you mention it too early, you might get him to change, but that will just be temporary. Later on, he’ll probably resent you for that.

COMPROMISSO: Prestar atenção às outras pessoas na sua vida

Se ele se aperceber de que as pessoas de quem gosta gostam de si, vai certamente pensar em fazer o mesmo.

As pessoas que o rodeiam irão afectá-lo positivamente, falando bem de si e dizendo que é uma pessoa fantástica em geral.

If you’re good for his family and friends, he’ll realize you’re good for him, too.

MEDO: Ser mal-educado com os outros

He’s not an idiot, and he is well aware of how you’re acting to people around you.

If your behavior changes when you’re talking to someone other than him, he’ll notice it and take it as a huge red sign.

Naturally, you can’t change who you really are. So, if by any chance you are a jerk to others, good luck to you.

But, if you’re on the edge and you can control yourself, I suggest you do it—not just for his sake but for your own as well.

COMMIT: Don’t be too available

Don’t be at his disposal. Don’t come running every time he calls you because he’ll get the impression he can do whatever he wants with you.

So, play a bit hard to get, but don’t overdo it either or he might lose interest in you completely.

Also, by not being too available, you’re giving extra value to the time he gets to spend with you.

In time, he’ll only want more of you. Let him figure it out by himself.

MEDO: Fazer suposições

Don’t make any premature decisions, especially if you’re still not that close with that person.

Don’t make assumptions that the two of you speak the same language and that he has the same mindset as you do.

Nor assume that he doesn’t like you and wants to call things off. Wait to get to know him a bit better, and then assume all you want.

COMMIT: Don’t force commitment

Even if commitment means a lot to you, act like it’s not such a big deal.

Don’t throw the idea of committing in his face because you might get a completely different outcome than you hoped for.

The thing is, men don’t like to be told what to do.

Chances are if they get the impression that you’re telling them what to do, they are definitely going to do something completely different just so things don’t end up your way.

ASSUSTAR: Fazer com que ele aceite o seu comportamento de alta manutenção

You’re manutenção elevada and that’s okay, but don’t expect him to support your behavior.

Se quer coisas bonitas e tem um padrão que deve manter, certifique-se de que cuida dele sozinho.