18 sinais de que a sua mulher quer deixá-lo e como salvar o seu casamento

The moment you start looking for warning signs that your wife wants to leave you, it’s high time to take serious action.

O vosso casamento ainda pode ser salvo, mas, primeiro, têm de olhar para isto do ponto de vista dela e refletir sobre porquê as coisas começaram a desmoronar-se.

Married couples go through so much together so it’s perfectly normal to hit a few bumps.

Depois de passarem muito tempo juntos constantemente, há vontade haverá alguma fricção.

A única questão é: será que é possível resolver as coisas depois de tantos anos de casamento ou será que os problemas estão demasiado longe?

Veja os maus sinais de que a sua mulher pretende divorciar-se de si, os indícios de que está preparado para esse passo e dicas para salvar o seu casamento!

Ver também: Sente-se mal amado? Aqui estão as possíveis razões para isso e como mudar

18 sinais reveladores de que a sua mulher quer o divórcio

She’s become emotionally detached

Your emotional connection has been severed. You’ve been feeling it for some time now but you’ve been hesitant to face it head-on.

You can’t remember the last time she said Eu amo-te. E todos os planos para o futuro que esperavam ansiosamente parecem estar permanentemente suspensos.

She doesn’t seem interested in sharing any emotional connection with you and there’s an almost palpable wall between you.

Há demasiado tempo que ignora os sinais vermelhos de uma rutura matrimonial? A sua mulher está a afastar-se de si um dia de cada vez?

She doesn’t care about your whereabouts any longer

She used to want to know where you were and when you’d be coming home, which you always saw as a sure sign of her love and devotion.

But lately, she’s been completely uninterested in your whereabouts. It’s as if she loves her alone time too much.

If you stay at home, she gives you no attention and when you leave, she doesn’t care.

And it’s been seriously affecting your mental health. As if searching for signs that your wife wants to leave you isn’t bad enough.

Mas o tratamento de silêncio pode ser verdadeiramente o último prego no caixão.

Tem um historial de repetir os mesmos problemas

You’re not happy to admit it, but you tend to be a bit of a narcissist at times. Your wife pointed it out a few times, but you find it hard to change your ways.

And every time you have an opportunity to show her that you’re willing to work on a healthy relationship, you blow it.

There’s a lack of communication but you don’t really care. She’s been talking about seeing a marriage counselor but you’re not into that either.

It’s like you love your wife but only to a certain extent. If you’re asked to put her first and yourself second, it’s an issue for you.

You can’t remember the last time you spent quality time together

You know that this definitely isn’t a good sign but you can’t seem to be able to change it.

Sempre que sugeres fazer algo em conjunto, ela cancela à última da hora. Sempre que tentas avançar, ela desiste.

Lately, it’s all about the kids, work and finances.

You can’t remember why she married you in the first place and after noticing so many common signs of a marriage breakdown, is there hope?

You don’t want to be a skeptic but how can you work on something when she doesn’t want to?

Relacionadas: 11 sinais de alerta de que o seu ex está a virar o seu filho contra si

Está constantemente ressentida e a criticá-lo

Maybe she’s a stay-at-home mom who yearns for some changes and she’s been taking it out on you.

Todas as relações duradouras passam por momentos difíceis e, depois de ficar em casa a tomar conta da casa e das contas e de estar constantemente a fazer recados, talvez ela se ressinta secretamente por você se ir embora.

Afinal de contas, tem uma folga em relação a eles, mas o que é que ela tem? Tem de ser capaz de ver as coisas através da perspetiva dela.

I can assure you that her constant criticism isn’t unfounded. Ask her openly about it and truly listen to what she has to say.

Começou a esconder o telemóvel e o computador portátil à sua volta

Lately, your wife has been extremely secretive. Every time you go near her, she clutches her gadgets as if she’s keeping state secrets on there.

Could she be hiding something? I can’t say for sure but it’s definitely a red flag. All there’s left to do is address it and hope for the best.

You’ve noticed some of her personal belongings are missing

The accessories that she recently ordered from Amazon didn’t arrive at your home address (estranho). As suas coisas, como vasos, molduras e jóias, já não estão onde ela normalmente as guarda.

Things have been missing and even though she thinks you haven’t noticed it, you totally have.

You’re dreading what this could mean. You cannot bring yourself to utter the words… but is she making plans for a divorce process?

Could she be moving her stuff away to her new place? There’s only one way to find out.

Recusa o contacto físico

You haven’t done the deed in way too long. Every time you suggest it, she always has an excuse ready.

Either she has a bad headache or she’s just too tired or there are so many things on her mind that she can’t even think about it now.

Mas tudo o que se ouve é não. For a while, you gave her the benefit of the doubt but now, you’re starting to suspect something’s really wrong.

Ver também: Inappropriate Friendships When Married: Are They Really ‘Just Friends’?

You suspect that she’s having an emotional affair

Out of all the signs that your wife wants to leave you, if this one’s true, it’s one that could cause irrevocable damage.

Os casos emocionais são os piores. Confiar a outro homem os seus problemas mais íntimos significa que ela já não o vê como o seu confidente mais próximo.

You’ve lost that connection you once shared and now you’re a mere stranger in your own home going through an recuperação de casos. Mas é possível voltar a ser como era?

Ver também: Esposa lésbica: 10 sinais reveladores de que você está vivendo com uma lésbica de armário

She doesn’t validate your opinions anymore

Your wife doesn’t care about what you have to say; not about your kids, not regarding her work and not regarding anything she used to rely on you for.

You could tell her that you think she looks smashing and she’d be indifferent. She’s stopped taking your opinions into consideration.

She spends all of her time with her girlfriends…

She’s always had a trusted circle of her close friends and you’ve always encouraged her to spend time with them.

You love that she has them to have her back and be there for her, especially when you can’t. But now, she’s been spending the majority of her time with them.

There’s no longer a healthy balance of quality time with her family. Her friends take the top spot and you’re left with crumbs of her attention.

 … and if she’s not with them, she’s at work (more than she has to be)

It’s as if she’s purposely choosing to not spend time with you.

Este é um dos sinais mais reveladores de que a sua mulher o quer deixar? Pode ser, de facto.

If she keeps making decisions that keep her away from you, it’s time to reevaluate your marriage.

It’s not a good sign that her friends and work keep taking all of her attention. Ask yourself this: O que poderá estar a causar isto?

Ela passou por uma grande mudança recentemente

• Did she lose her job?

A perda de um emprego pode tê-la feito refletir muito sobre as suas prioridades. Uma mudança como esta deixa uma marca e leva as pessoas a reavaliarem as suas vidas.

• Have you recently welcomed a baby?

Having a child is never a saving grace for a marriage. If you’re not rock-solid, don’t expect a baby to help you forge a stronger connection.

It’s only going to create a wedge if things have been on shaky ground.

• Have you moved despite her not wanting to?

Forçar a sua mulher a mudar-se para outro sítio, apesar dos protestos dela, pode ser o ponto de viragem que facilitou a decisão dela de se divorciar de si.

Pode haver outros problemas subjacentes, mas este foi o seu ponto de rutura.

• Has she reached new success at work?

Upon experiencing newfound success at work, people’s egos get inflated.

If now she’s making more money, she could be reevaluating if she still needs you to support her. It’s childish but very common.

Ver também: Aceitar as pessoas como elas são em vez de as tentar mudar

Quanto mais estendes a mão, mais ela te afasta

Este é mais um dos grandes sinais de que a sua mulher o quer deixar.

Todos os seus avanços são afastados e quanto mais tenta aproximar-se dela, mais desinteressada ela fica.

It’s as if your wife feels disgusted by your touch and it hurts you on so many levels. You are constantly torn between completely giving up and trying even harder.

You’ve been finding strange documents around your home

Ela está à procura de um novo sítio para viver? Poderá estar a consultar um agente imobiliário e a tentar encontrar um novo local nas suas costas?

Observe the documents when you’re home alone and Google them if you manage to take a peak. That’ll tell you all you need to know.

She’s been showing an uncharacteristically vast interest in your kids

Spouses who are getting ready to leave make sure to do anything in their power that’ll help them in the custody battle.

This is why your wife has been showing a keen interest in your kids’ extracurricular activities and being very lenient with them.

She’s ‘buying’ their love and attention so as to ensure they want to remain with her in case they get to have a say in the process.

Ela luta só por lutar

You could literally be sitting on a couch reading a book and she’ll approach you and bite your head off for not doing something else.

It’s like she quer para arranjar uma briga. Ela está sempre a encontrar razões para discutir, para, de alguma forma, tornar as coisas mais fáceis para si própria.

There’s no point in trying to make sense of this.

If your wife is adamant to leave, there’s not much you can do to mudar de ideias para além de manter a cabeça fria e tentar perceber o comportamento dela.

Your gut is telling you that something’s seriously off

And finally, you know that you can always trust your gut. No matter the situation or the circumstances, so far, it’s always been right.

And that’s what frightens you. You don’t querer para que seja correto.

You desperately want to wake up next to your wife, having realized that this was all a dream… But it’s all too real.

Your marriage is in shambles and you want to find a way to win your wife back but you’re out of moves.

Deverá finalmente ceder? Será altura de acabar com o seu casamento?

Ver também: Quebrando o Estereótipo: A essência de ser um espírito livre

Como pode salvar o seu casamento?

A comunicação é a CHAVE, por isso, tenha uma conversa honesta de coração para coração

I know you’ve probably heard this a million times but it honestly cannot be stressed enough. Communication can make or break you.

At first, it feels as if you can read each other’s minds. You don’t even have to speak and it feels like such a special connection. Telepathy in love, right?

No entanto, com o tempo, esta telepatia torna-se um incómodo. Aquilo que inicialmente o atraía para o seu parceiro torna-se lentamente aquilo que causa estragos no seu casamento.

Sabe porque é que isto acontece? Porque ambos se sentem demasiado confortáveis no vosso silêncio e isso começa a afetar o vosso casamento.

Yes, it’s nice that you know how your wife feels without her having to say it but what’s even nicer is approaching her and asking her how she is nevertheless, sitting down next to her and actually listening to her.

Poderá ficar surpreendido com o que vai ouvir.

So enough with the mind-reading and assuming. Voice your love, opinions and worries. Have heart-to-hearts and don’t ever take your connection for granted.

Trabalhar na resolução de conflitos e esclarecer as questões prementes

A minha aposta é que existem algumas questões subjacentes que não estão a ser abordadas.

By now, you’ve established a lack of communication as one of the signs your wife wants to leave you. Let’s turn the tables.

Quero que seja o primeiro a esclarecer quaisquer preocupações que suspeite estarem a incomodar a sua mulher. Mostre-lhe a sua vontade de enfrentar as coisas difíceis.

She needs to know that you won’t keep running away from the pressing issues.

Nenhum casamento está isento de defeitos, por isso, veste as calças de menino crescido e começa a trabalhar.

Things won’t magically heal overnight; that only happens in movies. But what vontade happen is you’ll get one step closer to reconciliation.

You’ll start to gain your wife’s trust back and it’ll be a great first step toward a better tomorrow.

Continue assim, seja incansável na sua intenção de a ter de volta e talvez as coisas se resolvam.

Make sure she knows you’re always available when she’s feeling low

Women need to know they have their partner to rely on at all times. Let’s be honest here; women truly do have it harder.

Who’s more likely to be a stay-at-home parent, you or your wife?

And who’s most probably doing the majority of the household chores? I think we all know the answer to that.

And there are countless little things that I’m not even going to mention here. You know what they are so the least you can do is be her support whenever she needs you.

Recognize when she’s feeling low and be there for as long as she needs you. Even if there’s a big game on.

Even if you’ve made plans with your buddies. Your wife’s needs should trump your little gatherings that can totally be rescheduled.

Do you have any idea how much it’ll mean to her seeing that you chose to stay with her instead of going out with the guys?

These things don’t go unnoticed. And the thing is, you should never do it because you feel obliged to, you should do it because you want to!

Ver também: Formas poderosas de aumentar o amor-próprio e deixar de se sentir indesejado

Lute pelo seu casamento e faça dela a sua prioridade

From personal experience, I can honestly tell you that the one thing that really bugs me is when I don’t feel like a priority.

Yes, you’ve made a commitment and yes, you are loyal to her but do you put her before everyone else?

That’s the real question.

A sua mulher é a sua companheira em todas as coisas da vida.

She’s the one who sees you on your good days, loves you on your bad days and sticks around for the unbearable ones.

She’s the one holding your hand when you get bad news. She’s the one bending over backward to make you happy.

E como é que lhe pagas? Seja honesto consigo próprio. Coloca-a em primeiro lugar?

Do you prioritize her over everyone else? She deserves it even when she’s being hormonal and unreasonable.

She deserves it even when she’s yelling at you for the hundredth time to put your plate in the sink.

No matter how hard some days are, she’s always the first one you need to run things by.

If she doesn’t feel prioritized, she will constantly wonder if she’s doing something wrong. No, she’s not. You are. How about changing it?

Encontrar formas de restabelecer a ligação e reconstruir a confiança no seu casamento

When you’re at a crossroads, the thing you need to ask yourself is what you can do to change things for the better. How can you make your wife see that your marriage is worth it?

For starters, start with the small stuff. My guess is, you’ve slowly lost that sparkle and the romance is out the door.

The bond you shared is withering and you need to remind your wife that it’s still there.

Para que isso seja melhor, tem de fazer um esforço para mostrar algum amor à sua mulher.

Do something you know she’ll appreciate it (after all, you know her best) and go out of your way to make her happy.

It doesn’t have to be a gift or anything material. Do the grocery shopping for her.

Surpreenda-a com uma casa limpa quando ela chegar do ginásio. Dar banho aos miúdos e pô-los na cama.

This will show her that she can count on you again. It’ll make her see that she can trust you to have her back.

E isso pode fazer com que ela se sinta apreciada e acarinhada.

It doesn’t take a lot to win back her love. Simply be a loving, caring partner she knows she can depend on.

Marque um encontro semanal e faça-o valer a pena

Now we’ve got to the good stuff. The honeymoon phase is awesome and everything but after it fades, there has to be a sense of love and commitment or you’ll fall apart.

Don’t stop making time for each other just because you’re no longer the young kids in love from ten years ago.

Muito pelo contrário, as noites de convívio são uma obrigação!

Dedicate every Friday evening (or any day that works for you) to romantic dates. And you can’t flake!

O importante é que arranje tempo, mesmo quando os seus dias são agitados.

Newsflash—there will sempre be something in your way but if you really want it, you’re going to make sure that it happens.

And there’s only one rule—no shop talk! No seu caso, nada de falar dos filhos ou dos seus passatempos, das tarefas domésticas ou das contas.

São apenas duas pessoas apaixonadas a esforçarem-se para que tudo corra bem.

This is your one day a week where everything else doesn’t matter. Make it count!

Apreciar as pequenas coisas que ela faz por si e pela sua família

She doesn’t have to be a stay-at-home mom for you to appreciate all of her amazing efforts so start letting her know that you don’t take everything she does for granted.

Desde ir às compras, certificar-se de que as crianças estão onde têm de estar, planear festas de aniversário, ir às reuniões de pais e professores e todas as outras pequenas coisas de que se possa lembrar.

Comece a dizer obrigado. Comece a mostrar a sua gratidão por um cônjuge tão dedicado.

She doesn’t have to be all hands on deck all the time. But she is nevertheless.

Some appreciation really goes a long way because she can easily decide that she doesn’t care anymore.

Ela pode deixar todas as decisões, as recolhas e as compras para si.

Pode ir a um centro de bem-estar com as filhas e ficar indisponível durante todo o fim de semana.

Ela podia sair e festejar toda a noite, e depois ficar na cama no dia seguinte. Mas o que se passa é que ela nunca o fará.

And now that you’re slowly starting to be aware of the love, devotion and sacrifice she shows every day, I hope you’ll start being muito mais apreciativo.

Aconselhamento matrimonial

It’s crazy to me how marriage counseling is seen as this negative thing. People act as if it means that you’re somehow failing but it’s the opposite!

Recorrer a um profissional significa que está a dedicar algum tempo a fazer tudo o que está ao seu alcance para que o seu casamento funcione.

It means you’re far from giving up. When there are signs your wife wants to leave you, this is the thing that could change her mind.

Most men are embarrassed by this notion but if you really love your wife and want her to see that, you’ll go to marriage counseling.

You’ll let a professional help you work out the issues and delve deep into your life.

Once you go, you’ll see what the fuss is all about. Admittedly, I was a bit hesitant before I went for the first time but let me tell you something…

From then on, I haven’t missed a session.

Tornou-se uma graça salvadora para a minha relação que a ajudou em mais do que um aspeto.

So if you are at a crossroads, please, take this next step. I guarantee you that it’ll be the best thing you have ever done for your marriage.

Quando a sua relação vale a pena, faça o que for preciso para a salvar.

Ver também: Desafio de 30 dias para o amor-próprio: torne-se a melhor versão de si mesmo

5 sinais de que deve avançar com o processo de divórcio

There’s physical, emotional or verbal violence in your marriage

Há certas coisas que nunca devem ser ignoradas e, se um dos parceiros tiver dado sinais de qualquer tipo de violência, a única saída é a saída.

Se você ou o seu parceiro recorreram à manipulação emocional, a insultos extremos ou, pior do que tudo, à violência física, para bem de todos os envolvidos, ponha fim à situação.

Ninguém merece sofrer um tratamento tão horrível.

Neste caso, o melhor é o divórcio e manter uma distância segura um do outro.

Your wife is adamant that she wants a divorce and there’s no changing her mind

Some people simply know what they want. She isn’t confused, perplexed or hesitant about her wishes, she has informed you of what she wants and you can’t change her mind.

In my advice, don’t even try. There is no point trying to salvar um casamento with an individual who’s already one foot out the door.

It might seem impossible now but one day, you’ll meet someone who’ll be one hundred percent sure about you and then, you’ll realize how toxic this marriage actually was.

Ver também: Tudo o que precisa de saber sobre uma relação transacional

Ela recusa-se a resolver os vossos problemas e vocês continuam a bater numa parede de tijolo

Tentar ter uma conversa com a sua mulher é tão inútil como falar com uma parede.

She just doesn’t want to address the circumstances, nor is she interested in hearing you out.

The weirdest thing is that she hasn’t specified that divorcing you is what she wants. All you’ve been able to figure out is her indifference.

And sometimes, that’s exactly what you need to know where you stand.

If she loved you or had any hope that your marriage could be saved, do you really think she’d be acting this way?

Não há respeito mútuo entre vós

Your wife used to be the one person you had the utmost respect for. Nobody could say anything to change your mind. But now, that’s long gone.

Dizem as piores coisas um ao outro e não têm qualquer respeito pelo outro. A pessoa que antes considerava tão boa desceu muito baixo na sua mente.

The worst thing is, you don’t even know how it happened.

Acabou de acordar e apercebeu-se de que a sua perspetiva mudou significativamente e já não a vê da mesma forma.

You’ve both changed in completely different directions

Já não partilham os mesmos valores. A vida levou-vos por caminhos muito diferentes (e inesperados), levando-vos a reavaliar o vosso casamento.

It’s not necessarily that you resent them or hold grudges; you’ve merely come to a realization that you’re no longer the same people you were when you first got married.

It’s extremely difficult to admit this but you both changed and grew apart in the process.

É mau? Profundamente. Mas devem ser honestos um com o outro? A cem por cento.

Staying in a marriage that no longer means what it used to mean is unfair to both of you. People change. That’s just life for you.

If You Don’t Want Your Wife To Leave, You Need To Take Action

Now that you’ve gone through the signs that your wife wants to leave you (and all the ways in which you can stop it), what’s it going to be?

Vão ficar amuados em silêncio e deixar que um advogado de divórcio entre nas vossas vidas ou vão fazer alguma coisa?

Yes, there are warning signs of a possible divorce but nothing’s set in stone yet!

Ainda assim, pode certificar-se de que a sua mulher se sente vista, ouvida e amada da forma que merece.

Marriage problems are anything but rare, so it’s all about pinpointing the issues and actively working on them.

Don’t let your best friend slip away if there’s something you can do about it.

Comunique agora mais do que nunca e mostre-lhe que estava a falar a sério nos seus votos matrimoniais.

Why? Because, “True love stands by each other’s side on good days and stands closer on bad days.” (Desconhecido)