11 sinais de alerta de que o seu ex está a virar o seu filho contra si

Os divórcios são maus, mas estar preso a um parceiro tóxico é ainda mais mau.

Devemos dar graças a Deus por vivermos numa época em que deixar relações e casamentos que já não nos servem é uma coisa comum, embora subsista uma questão: O que é que acontece quando há uma criança presa no meio?

Are you afraid that your toxic, vengeful ex might be trying to damage the amazing relationship you have with your kid? This article will clear any doubts because here you’ll find the most surefire signs your ex is turning your child against you.

1. Falar mal

Já ouviste dizer que o seu ex tem falado mal de si em frente do seu filho? You can’t understand it because you have never said anything bad about them in front of your kid and never would.

Because you want your kid to have a good relationship with the other parent, you don’t want to turn your kid against them, which is specifically what your ex is trying to do by falar mal e a falar mal de ti à frente do teu filho.

2. Lavagem cerebral

The alienating parent will try to brainwash the kid in order to turn them against the other parent. It’s a way they think they’ll get their revenge on their ex-partner.

Whenever your kid starts talking about the good memories they have with you or about something nice you’ve done for them, your ex will immediately stop them and say something bad about you.

They’ll do anything to change the picture of an amazing, loving parent your kid has of you in their head.

If you notice your alienated child is being brainwashed and do absolutely nothing about it, it won’t take too long for your ex to succeed in their intention: to turn your kid against you.

3. Transferência de culpa

Trata-se de um fenómeno muito frequente nos casais divorciados em situação de grande conflito. They weren’t ready to take responsibility for their wrongdoings while they were married, which eventually led to their divorce, and that’s why they started transferência da culpa uns aos outros.

However, if you aren’t doing it and your ex-spouse does, if your kid also starts blaming you for the divorce, you should know that you’re dealing with an alienated child.

Your ex isn’t choosing methods to get their revenge anymore. Their only goal has become to turn your kid against you, and they’ll use every weapon at their disposal to achieve it.

4. Fazer falsas acusações

Has your kid started asking you about your marriage? Perhaps they asked you whether it’s true that you cheated on their dad/mom and you got divorced because of it?

If those kinds of questions start appearing, don’t be surprised. O seu ex vai começar a fazer falsas acusações verbais, físicas ou abuso sexual ou a sua infidelidade, tudo com o objetivo de fazer com que o seu filho o culpe e odeie pelo fim do seu casamento.

5. Limitar a comunicação

O seu ex-cônjuge take your kid’s phone away? Did they delete all of their redes sociais contas? Deram-lhe alguma explicação para o facto?

If there is no legit reason for restricting your kid that way, it’s a huge red flag they’re trying to alienate them. They don’t want them to communicate with you, and they’re trying to block every way they can get in touch with you.

6. Cancelar o tempo de parentalidade

If your ex-spouse won the custody agreement, they’ll try to use it to limit your parenting time. Remember, their only goal is to harm the connection you have with your kid.

Co-parentalidade is hard, and the only way it’ll be successful is if both sides are ready to make compromises and agree.

Se o seu ex-cônjuge começar a usar desculpas estúpidas e a cancelar o seu tempo de parentalidade, deve pôr termo a essa situação imediatamente. O seu parceiro tem de respeitar o acordo de custódia dos filhos; caso contrário, pode procurar aconselhamento jurídico para alterar a ordem de custódia.

7. Proíbe o seu filho de o visitar a si e aos seus familiares

If your kid starts avoiding visiting you or your extended family, it’s a huge sign they’re a victim of parental alienation. It probably isn’t their own choice. They’re avoiding it because your ex is making them avoid you and your part of the family.

It’s simply because they’re trying to cut off every form of communication and connection between you and your kid. They don’t want you to figure out what they’re trying to do, and they’ll keep forbidding your kid from seeing you.

8. Castigo emocional

Every time your kid goes deaf on their “commands” or your ex finds out they were talking tp you or doing something they forbade them from doing, they’ll punish your kid.

They’ll use emotional punishments and blackmailing because they know they work best on children.

They’ll tell your kid how they’re breaking their heart piece by piece every time they talk to you or see you. Those emotional punishments will seriously start impacting your kids’ mental health.

Relacionadas: 8 sinais de que você foi emocionalmente negligenciado quando criança (e como isso o afeta agora)

9. Sempre a pedir para escolher um lado

O seu filho queixou-se de que o outro progenitor lhe pede sempre para escolher um lado entre si e ele? Ou talvez alguém próximo do seu filho o tenha admitido a si?

If it’s true, you need to consider it as a warning sign your ex is turning your kid against you. Independentemente das circunstâncias, o seu filho nunca poderá escolher um lado entre si e o seu ex-parceiro, porque o coração dele pertence a ambos, igualmente.

10. Comprar o seu amor

If your ex-spouse has easily agreed on all child support matters, if they always buy your kid whatever they wish for, if they shower them with expensive gifts every day, you should know that they’re trying to buy their love.

This is especially true if they’re in a better financial situation than you are. They’re trying to buy their love by affording them everything you aren’t able to.

Fortunately, it’s never a way to get someone to love you, and kids never fall for such cheap tricks. Truth be told, children aren’t as naive as many people usually think.

11. Agressões verbais ou físicas

Quando todos os métodos acima referidos falham, o progenitor alienador começa a recorrer a medidas físicas ou abuso verbal para que o filho se afaste do outro progenitor.

That’s why you need to have regular, open, and honest communication with your kid. Se ele lhe fizer uma confidência ou se se aperceber de que o seu filho está a ser vítima de maus tratos, deve tomar medidas o mais rapidamente possível.

I know you don’t like to meddle in the relationship your kid has with their other parent, but you shouldn’t allow anyone to ever hurt your child in any way, even if it’s your ex-spouse, their parent.

O que fazer se o seu ex está a tentar virar os seus filhos contra si

Being a child of divorced parents is hard enough even without these kinds of toxic games vengeful partners might be playing with each other. If you’re sure now that your ex has parental alienation syndrome (PAS), you need to deal with it and protect your child at any cost.

Antes de mais, é preciso falar com o seu ex e tentar construir a relação saudável entre vós. O vosso casamento acabou, mas deviam tentar manter-se amigos para bem dos vossos filhos.

É preciso avisá-los das terríveis consequências que alienação parental may leave on your kid’s bem-estar.

As the final step, you should make them realize that their awful manipulation tactics may cost them losing the custody case. And make it clear that you won’t be silent about their alienation.

O pai ou mãe seleccionados também precisa de trabalhar no reforço da relação pai-filho. O seu filho precisa de saber que pode falar consigo e que pode abrir-se consigo em qualquer altura.

Se nada disto funcionar, deve procurar ajuda de outras pessoas. Procure aconselhamento junto dos seus familiares, aconselhamento jurídico junto de advogados de direito da família ou do seu advogado de divórcio, ou fale com alguém que tenha passado pelo mesmo.