16 sinais claros de que a minha mulher separada quer reconciliar-se

At first, I doubted whether my ex-wife had regrets about our divorce, but now I’m completely sure she does.

I realized these clear signs my separated wife wants to reconcile, and I’m going to share them with you. Maybe they’ll help you with your own dilemma about your ex.

It goes without saying that our divorce didn’t happen overnight, without any good reasons.

We had problems that we couldn’t overcome, and we simply couldn’t work things out, so we both concluded that divorce was our only option.

Foi realmente o melhor. Magoámo-nos profundamente um ao outro e as coisas estavam a piorar cada vez mais.

Se ficássemos juntos, sabíamos que acabaríamos por nos tornar inimigos.

Em nome do amor que um dia sentimos um pelo outro, de todas as belas recordações que criámos juntos e dos anos que passámos juntos, acabámos por decidir separar-nos em paz.

I don’t think we actually stopped loving each other, it’s just that our marriage had hit a rough patch that we weren’t able to find a way out of.

Tentámos aconselhamento matrimonial e diferentes terapias para casais, e recebemos muitos conselhos matrimoniais de diferentes especialistas. Mas, apesar de todo o esforço que fizemos para salvar o nosso casamento, infelizmente não havia salvação possível.

A maioria das pessoas diz que se deve tentar tudo e mais alguma coisa para salvar o casamento e pensar muito bem no divórcio antes de o fazer, antes de passar o ponto de não retorno.

Para que um casamento funcione e se mantenha saudável, o mais importante é manterem-se unidos durante todo o tempo e apoiarem-se mutuamente, aconteça o que acontecer.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t do this, and that’s why we separated in the end.

Sinais claros de que a minha mulher separada quer reconciliar-se

To be honest, I never thought about reconciling or getting my wife back because I’d accepted the divórcio e fez as pazes com ela.

A primeira vez que comecei a reparar em alguns pequenos sinais de que a minha mulher separada quer reconciliar-se foi quando eu próprio comecei a pensar em voltar a estar com ela.

Honestly, I was terrified. I was so confused and overwhelmed by so many mixed feelings. I didn’t know what to do; should I confront her or let her admit it herself?

Seguem-se alguns sinais claros de que a sua mulher quer reconciliar-se. Se tem um problema semelhante ou se tem dúvidas sobre se a sua ex-mulher quer mesmo voltar a namorar, deve, sem dúvida, verificar estes sinais.

She’s being too nice to me

I know it’s not that shocking when someone behaves nicely toward you, but after the way things ended between us, it was so strange, especially because I expected her to act in a completely different way.

O processo de divórcio foi muito complicado e foram ditas algumas palavras duras, por isso foi estranho quando ela começou a comportar-se como se nada tivesse acontecido e foi tão simpática e educada comigo.

I wasn’t an abusive, absent, or marido traidor. I don’t think I ever gave her a reason to hate me or treat me badly, but her behavior was still a little confusing.

I can honestly say that she wasn’t this nice to me even when we were still married.

Ela quer manter-se em contacto

O divórcio é sempre um processo extremamente difícil para ambas as partes, mas divorciar-se de alguém por quem ainda se sente algo é ainda pior.

She wanted to stay friends with me, and that’s definitely a bom sinal a minha mulher separada quer reconciliar-se. However, as I’m her ex-husband, I’m not sure that our friendship will be successful.

She added me on all my social media accounts, and is always reaching out to me first. In fact, she initiates communication all the time. I can tell that she’s really interested in my well-being.

Ela namorisca e está a tentar seduzir-me novamente

I noticed that she’s constantly flirting with me. Even when we’re just messaging on social media. It feels exactly like when we first met each other.

Whenever we’re both invited to the same gathering, she wears something I told her she looks good in while we were married, and she’s always the one who initiates first contact.

She plays with her hair or bites her lip every time we talk. Also, she “accidentally” touches me while I’m talking and smiles very sweetly at me.

She laughs at all my jokes, even the ones I know aren’t funny at all! If I didn’t know any better I’d say it’s definitely very suspicious, even flirtatious, behavior.

She’s interested in my dating life

After I came to terms with our separation, I really tried hard to put her out of my mind. I don’t ask about her life, or even talk about her at all.

On the other hand, our common friends tell me that she’s always asking questions about me and my love life.

She even asked me if I wanted to meet someone new a few times, but I thought she was only making small talk, and brought this up because she didn’t know what else to talk about.

She makes it clear that she’s single

Even though I never ask her about her love life, she always makes it clear to me that she isn’t seeing anyone new.

Temos bastantes amigos em comum e, por vezes, damos por nós a sair juntos.

I noticed that she talks to our friends about the guys that are trying to impress her, and she’s so loud that I get the feeling that she wants to make sure I hear what she’s saying.

Está sempre a falar do passado

Ela está sempre a falar das nossas memórias mais queridas. Uma vez até a apanhei a falar de nós como se ainda estivéssemos casados.

Our friends went on their honeymoon, and when she spoke about ours, she started by saying: “When my husband and I…”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Maybe she did it unconsciously, but still, it was an awkward moment.

She also sends me photos of us together while we’re texting, saying things like: “Look, how happy we were there…” or “We were such a great couple, right?” I’m left speechless in these moments.

I just don’t know if I should put my foot down before it’s too late, or if I should give us another chance.

The problem is that she only brings up the good memories of when we were married. It’s like she has forgotten all the bad moments that led us to divórcio em primeiro lugar.

Admite os seus erros do passado

I still remember the day we made the final decision to separate and I moved out of our apartment. While I was standing at the front door ready to leave, she told me that I’m the one to blame for our divorce.

Disse-me também que todo o amor que tinha por mim se tinha transformado em ódio. Alguns palavras ofensivas foram ditas nesse dia.

She never knew how to admit that she made a mistake and ask for forgiveness, but now she’s like a completely different person.

She admitted she also made some mistakes in our marriage, and asked me to forgive her. It’s almost as if our separation has completely changed her.

Estou sempre a chocar com ela

Nas primeiras vezes que isto aconteceu, pensei que fosse por acaso, porque temos o mesmo círculo de amigos.

But now, I’m convinced that our meetings are no coincidence because they’ve become a little too frequent.

It’s normal if I bump into her at some social gathering that we’re both invited to. It just became a little too suspicious when she started showing up in the park I jog in and at the restaurant she knows I go to every day for brunch.

Ainda recebo chamadas telefónicas e mensagens de texto de bêbados

No início, a sua textos bêbados e os telefonemas eram normais para mim, porque eu pensava que ela ainda estava zangada e sabia que era um hábito dela.

Mas ela continua a enviar-me mensagens de texto sempre que se embebeda, e o pior é que age como se nada tivesse acontecido quando fica sóbria.

People say that alcohol is a truth serum and that there’s always truth in a drunk person’s words. She has also admitted several times that she still thinks about me and us when she’s drunk.

To be honest, I still don’t know what to make of it. Sometimes I think that it’s the only way she has the courage to admit her feelings.

Other times I think it’s all nonsense, and that she only does it because she’s feeling lonely and still hasn’t met anyone new.

Ela finge que precisa da minha ajuda só para me ver

In the beginning, she called me to fix a few things in the apartment we used to share, and it wasn’t suspicious at all because we agreed to try to be friends – and friends help each other, right?

But, she keeps calling me for help, even for little things I’m sure she could do on her own.

The most suspicious thing is that she always invites me to stay for lunch, dinner, or a coffee. She’s always joking around, saying: “What does my husband want to eat?” and things like that.

Even though I’m still not quite sure about whether I want to reconcile or not, I accept her invitation and we always end up having a deep and meaningful conversation.

Relacionadas: 8 exemplos da duração média da separação antes da reconciliação

Iniciar o contacto físico com demasiada frequência

At first I thought she was doing it out of habit, but now I’m almost completely sure it’s on purpose. I really think it’s a clear sign she wants to get back together.

She tends to touch my arms or my shoulder while we’re talking. If we’re sitting down, she always touches my legs with hers and then smiles at me. I don’t think I’m misinterpreting these signs because they happen so often.

Sempre foi um pouco tímida e tinha uma personalidade frágil. autoestima. I know it’s very hard for her to show her feelings or ask me directly to give our relationship another chance.

I think that’s why she’s trying to show it to me in these other, more subtle ways.

De repente, ela quer sair com os meus amigos

While we were married, she couldn’t stand most of my friends, and she never wanted to go out with us even though I always invited her to our gatherings.

Now she hangs out with them all of a sudden. It’s strange for them, too, because most of them know she didn’t like them.

She has even admitted to me that she was wrong about them, and that she realized they’re all good, interesting people.

It even bothers me a little, because I can’t understand what she wants to achieve by doing this. They told me she talks about me and our marriage a lot, and that they all think she wants to get back together with me.

She’s trying to make me jealous

Passámos muitos anos juntas, por isso ela sabe exatamente como me fazer ciumento.

Ela tenta fazer-me ciúmes sempre que saímos com os nossos amigos. I think she’s doing it because she wants to find out if I still love her.

She will start flirting with some random guy, but as soon as she realizes I don’t mind, she rejects him.

And you can tell by the look on her face that she’s disappointed, and even a little bit angry, because her plan has failed.

I try to act cool, but sometimes it really pisses me off. It’s made me realize that I’m still not ready to see her with another guy.

However, most of the time I think it’s actually quite sweet. After she finishes with her “fake flirting,” I start messing with her about how she’s just got rejected by some guy, and her cheeks instantly flush red. It’s so cute.

She’s jealous every time another woman goes near me

Algumas pessoas dizem que o ciúme saudável é um sinal de amor verdadeiro. Bem, no meu caso, isso deve significar que a minha ex-mulher ainda está muito apaixonada por mim!

Sempre que começo a falar das minhas colegas de trabalho ou amigas, vejo que ela fica irritada.

Ainda temos alguns amigos em comum e, por vezes, saímos juntos.

Se outra mulher se aproximar de mim, o meu ex-mulher começa a agir de forma fria e distante e, quando voltamos para casa, manda-me uma mensagem e começa a falar-me deles.

Also, every time I post a photo with a woman she doesn’t know, she starts questioning our friends about her. Even though I never ask her or our friends about her love life, she’s obviously still interested in mine.

She starts acting differently when she’s around me

I noticed this myself, but some of our common friends have also said that she starts behaving like a completely different person every time I’m around.

It’s probably because she hasn’t managed to move on with her own life since our separation in the way she hoped she would.

Acho que ela agora está arrependida. Acho que ela teve tempo suficiente para pensar em tudo e apercebeu-se de que o nosso divórcio foi um erro.

She acts like when we first met and were falling in love. She has that silly, childish smile and gets flustered a lot while we’re talking.

I really feel like she is a new woman, a different woman who has fallen madly in love with me and doesn’t know how to behave when she’s around me.

Os nossos amigos até me disseram que, sempre que alguém fala de mim ou do nosso casamento, ela sorri imediatamente e fica com um ar nostálgico.

Posso estar enganado, mas o comportamento dela é definitivamente estranho. She’s like a teenager who has a crush on someone, but doesn’t know how to express it to them.

Ela admite mesmo que ainda me ama

Once while we were at the birthday party of a mutual friend, she got a little drunk and couldn’t look me in the eye.

It was so awkward, she was avoiding me all night and I was worried that I’d done something wrong. I really felt the urge to confront her and find out what was going on.

When I did, she tried to run away from me, but I took her hand and asked her why she couldn’t talk to me or even meet my gaze.

Ela disse que não tinha nada a ver comigo e que tinha tudo a ver com ela. Fiquei ainda mais confuso e pedi-lhe que me explicasse.

A minha ex estava prestes a fazer a sua confissão de bêbeda. She told me that the reason she can’t look me in the eye is that she had made a big mistake. I was even more confused than before!

I’m going to quote her exact sentence because it will be deeply etched into my memory forever: “Why did I ever leave you? I’ll never find a better man and I’ll never stop loving you.”

I was dumbstruck, but we never mentioned the conversation again and I’m actually not sure whether she even remembers it.

Ver também: 10 erros comuns na reconciliação do casamento a evitar após a infidelidade

Em conclusão

It wasn’t long ago that I doubted whether my ex-wife still had strong feelings for me.

Now, I’m noticing several signs my separated wife wants to reconcile, and I’m becoming more and more sure that she regrets our divorce and wants to get back together.

I’m still not sure how I feel about the thought of reconciliation after separation.

I don’t know whether we would just continue to hurt each other, or if things could be different the second time around.

Poderá o passado ficar realmente para trás? Será que todos os insultos e coisas horríveis que dissemos um ao outro podem ser esquecidos? Seremos capazes de continuar de onde parámos, ou teremos de começar do zero?

All these confusing questions constantly run through my mind. Believe me, I’m not thinking about a new relationship. There is no new woman. I’m just not sure whether we’ll be able to work things after all this time.

Sei que há muitos outros homens que estão a passar pelo mesmo. Só queria partilhar isto porque partilhar as suas dificuldades com outros pode ajudá-lo a obter o alívio que tanto deseja.

Espero sinceramente que estes conselhos sobre relações sejam úteis para si também. Claro que a decisão de recuperar o seu ex, e de voltar a casar, é inteiramente sua.

O mais importante é ser honesto consigo próprio sobre o que realmente quer e se ainda ama a sua ex-mulher.

O processo de reconciliação pode ser difícil e cansativo, mas se duas pessoas ainda se amam genuinamente, penso que podem voltar a ser felizes juntas.

But please, don’t ask me what the right decision would be. The only person who knows the answer to that question is you. I’m also still trying to gather my own thoughts and make the right decision.

Só posso aconselhá-lo a ouvir o seu coração. Listen to your deepest innermost voice, because that’s the only way you’ll be truly happy.