É assim que a relação "certa" se vai sentir depois de todas aquelas tóxicas

Mantemo-nos em relações tóxicas principalmente porque não temos consciência de que são numa relação tóxica. Tendemos a ignorar o que o nosso parceiro tóxico nos faz a nós e aos nossos estados emocionais, encontrando muitas vezes desculpas no amor só para ficar mais um pouco.

O que precisamos de compreender é ficar e acreditar que algo acabará por mudar é demasiado ingénuo e continuamos a magoar-nos a nós próprios ao fazê-lo.

O que se passa com relações tóxicas é que eles são viciantes pois fazem-nos sentir que temos alguém em quem confiar.

São eles desafiador porque acha que pode fazer com que resulte e acha que tem de se esforçar muito para ser feliz numa relação, quando, na verdade, as relações tóxicas têm tudo a ver com medo.

You are captured in toxic relationships because you’re made to believe you’re better off staying in a disfuncional do que estar sozinho.

Quando estamos numa relação tóxica, temos este quadro de pontuação onde se mantém o registo de quem fez o quê a quem.

Continuam a discutir sobre quem é que está a dar mais a esta relação e continuam a culpá-lo por tudo o que de mau aconteceu na vossa relação.

Tudo o que aconteceu está escrito algures e o seu parceiro tóxico está apenas à espera de uma oportunidade para jogar essa carta.

When you are in a toxic relationship your partner is ‘dropping hints’ e fazer outras coisas passivo-agressivas.

He (or she) is unable to communicate with you on a ‘normal human level’ and instead, to clearly state the desire, you are pushed with hints towards the direction where your partner wants you to be.

Instead of telling you what’s actually upsetting him, he chooses to piss you off and then he has a legit excuse to behave like a jerk towards you and say out loud what he wanted to say at first.

When you are in a toxic relationship it feels like you’re held hostage porque a cada pequeno contratempo, fala-se de uma separação.

Whenever something is not suitable for your partner, he says he can’t stay in such a relationship. Instead of asking you why are you being cold, he chooses to say, “I can’t be with someone who’s cold to me all the time”.

When you are in a toxic relationship you are to blame for your partner’s emotions.

If your partner had a bad day but didn’t mention it to you and you decide to go out or watch a movie instead of staying in and hugging and comforting your partner, you get accused of being insensitive and self-centered.

You’re actually expected to ‘babysit’ his emotions and be attuned to what’s going on with your partner all the time.

But eventually, you’ll libertar-se de uma relação tóxica.

You’ll allow yourself not to tie your life to such person and life will reward you with a good guy at some point— a ‘right’ relationship which you haven’t gotten a chance to see often in your life.

At first, you won’t be aware you’re in the right place because everything will be new to you.

Terá espaço para aprender e terá apoio para ser quem realmente é. Não haverá esforços para o mudar e não haverá queixas sobre o seu carácter.

You will be accepted for who you are and you will be loved as such. Eventually, you’ll start remembering what you really wanted your life to be because you definitely didn’t want to spend your life pleasing someone who could never actually be pleased. You’ll get to be who you truly are.

You’ll overthink constantly and you’ll be thinking five, ten or even twenty steps ahead.

You’ll try to make a script out of every single date of yours, but everything will come up way better than you imagine because you’re expecting the same story you’ve lived once already, but you’ll get something totally different.

You’ll keep thinking it’s just too good to be true and you’ll keep waiting for something to happen to prove you’re right. The feeling that something bad will happen any moment will follow you constantly, but you need to understand he’s not waiting for a ‘perfect storm’.

It might be that in your previous relationships, fights came out of nowhere, but you need to remember you’ve broken free from those chains a long time ago.

So, eventually, you’ll start trusting your partner.

You’ll start doing things you (both) enjoy. No more doing things only for him; your day is not going to be spinning around anybody else but you. You’ll discover things you both enjoy and you’ll spend time doing those things.

After a fight, you won’t feel like your whole world is falling apart and that you’re the one to blame for it. Your experience tells you that only toxic relationships have fights, but that’s not true.

Every relationship has some hiccups, but where the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ relationships differ are the outcomes of the fights.

In the ‘right’ relationship, you won’t be feeling like a sh*t depois de uma luta porque não foi essa a ideia inicial do seu parceiro.

Você e o seu parceiro procurarão uma solução para o problema e as próprias raízes de onde tudo começou, de modo a poderem destruí-lo logo no início, em vez de colocarem toda a culpa em si.

You’ll do everything to get over the problem because you querer to stay together, you don’t want to break up.

As pessoas vão gostar de vos ver juntos porque um uma relação saudável está a brilhar—and I mean literally glowing.

You’ll walk close to each other and you’ll hold hands in public. You’ll smile often and the happiness and love you two feel for being together will just reflect on the outside as well.

You won’t be afraid to disagree because once you accept you have a guy who’s there because he loves you, not because he’s afraid of being alone or because he needs somebody, anybody to function, you’ll find space to speak your mind without fear.

You’ll be able to say out loud what it is that you want and don’t want and what it is that you like or dislike instead of constantly compromising and doing things your partner wants.

Partilharão uma paixão pelo futuro. There will be no threats to break up and you won’t have this fear you could lose him any moment now.

Instead, you’ll be able to plan your future together and you’ll walk together towards your destination.

You’ll enjoy doing mundane tasks together like grocery shopping or cooking lunch and it will be fun. You won’t be the one doing all the work and not getting any recognition for it, but instead, you’ll do it together and you’ll be looking forward to it.

You’ll know you can function without your partner, but you’ll refuse to go through life without him. The catch is you won’t feel addicted to him nor anxious to leave him.

You’ll choose him to walk together through your life because that’s what the ‘right’ relationships make you do. They make you feel like you’ve found your ‘forever’ person and you’ll want to hold on to that.

The difference between the toxic relationship and the ‘right’ one refletir-se-á na sua felicidade.

You’ll start feeling like a decent human being and this is something you forgot for a while. That’s what toxic relationships do to us.

You’ll enjoy your time with people you love without the fear that it might cause you problems afterwards.

You won’t need to justify your actions and you’ll be able to make something out of your life because you won’t have anybody to hold you down. You’ll feel good. Like you haven’t felt in a million years.

You’ll feel loved and appreciated, you’ll feel needed and you’ll feel like you’re in the right place and your eyes will shed tears.

Quando finalmente aceitas o amor que realmente mereces em vez daquele que pensar you deserve, you’ll see that you were only going through a lesson in life and you’ll thank God for that toxic relationship because it taught you never to settle for less and to know the difference between the ‘right’ guy and the ‘wrong’ one when you meet him.