7 dicas sobre como parar de ficar obcecado por um cara que não dá a mínima para você

The first thing you need to understand is that there are plenty of fish in the sea, so stop obsessing over that particular one, especially if that fish just doesn’t want to bite your hook bait.

Não vale a pena, porque o único resultado desta situação é magoar-se.

And another thing is that while you’re fishing for the wrong one, the right one may just slip through your fingers because you’ve put all your energy in a person who doesn’t deserve it.

Being hooked on the wrong guy has become a Hollywood cliché. Almost every romantic Hollywood plot begins with a young and beautiful woman who aches for a guy who is completely uninterested or he is just a friend.

But, she doesn’t give up. If he is a friend, she will continue to hurt in silence, misreading all the signals he is sending her in the hope he’ll come around.

Provavelmente, ele até tem uma namorada e, como todos os bons amigos fazem, ela senta-se pacientemente e ouve os seus problemas amorosos, esperando que as coisas entre eles se desmoronem e que ele abra de repente os olhos e perceba que o seu verdadeiro amor esteve sempre à sua frente.

Or, she will ache for the guy who doesn’t even know she exists. Ela sofrerá em silêncio e ela fará as pazes com o facto de nunca vir a estar com ele, mas o seu coração recusar-se-á a seguir em frente.

She will watch him from a distance and she will continue breaking her own heart because she is hooked on him and doesn’t want to let go.

Mas, ao contrário da vida real, estas histórias têm sempre um final feliz.

O rapaz que era seu amigo apercebe-se de repente que esteve apaixonado por ela este tempo todo e vivem felizes.

Or that guy who has never noticed her suddenly opens his eyes and has an epiphany—he falls in love with her immediately.

Well, in real life, things usually don’t go that way. Usually, you waste your life and time on someone who is just not right for you and he could never be because you don’t have the right one.

It’s just that you didn’t find him yet because you’ve wasted time trying to impress someone else. And that leads to a broken heart and pain.

Spare yourself the pain and try to cut the problem at its root. Stop breaking your own heart by hoping he’ll come around.

Stop living in a romantic movie. You’ll have your moment and it won’t be a cheesy cliché.

It will be the most romantic moment of your life and it will be your happily ever after. But first, learn how to stop obsessing over a guy who’s not into you.

1. Lembra-te que ele não é perfeito

Ele não é a perfeição que tu fizeste parecer. Ele é um ser humano tal como tu e tem as suas peculiaridades, como todos nós.

Ele não é impecável nem omnipotente, por isso deixe de olhar para ele com óculos cor-de-rosa e deixe de ver apenas as coisas boas que ele fez e que a arrebataram.

Stop for a second and try to look at the whole picture. Try to act like this situation doesn’t concern you, like you are observing him and his behavior for a friend.

Seja objetivo e faça uma lista de prós e contras e depois leia os seus contras e analise-os bem.

Once again, remember that no one is perfect. Maybe that should help you take him off of the pedestal you’ve put him on.

2. Forçar não o vai ajudar

Mesmo que o deixe louco e lhe implore que lhe dê uma oportunidade e ele desista, está a preparar-se para um futuro desgosto. Não há maneira de algo de bom sairá dessa relação.

If he wasn’t into you from the moment he saw you, if there is no connection between the two of you, it will never be.

3. Fala com os teus amigos

Se a pessoa a quem vai pedir ajuda for realmente seu amigo verdadeiro, dir-lhe-á a verdade. Dir-lhe-á que deve deixar isto em paz e seguir em frente.

Também, when you’re blinded by obsession, emotions and a possible past you had with him, you can’t look at the whole picture, so your obsession grows even more.

Pode até começar a imaginar coisas ou a dar mais significado a coisas que são triviais.

That’s when a good friend is more than welcome. Try to present the problem that is bothering you with as many facts as possible and try to exclude your emotions from it.

O seu verdadeiro amigo dir-lhe-á o que deve fazer ou talvez cheguem a uma solução em conjunto, porque duas cabeças são melhores do que uma.

Anyhow, it’s always nice to hear selfless and sincere advice from a person who cares for you deeply.

4. You’ll miss out on your best years

If you continue obsessing over someone who doesn’t know you exist or who sees you just as a friend or a friend with benefits, there’s a high chance that you’ll miss out on someone who truly wants to be with you.

If you continue to think about him, you’ll waste your youth and your best years.

Don’t allow yourself to spend the time of your life when you are supposed to have the most fun in tears and sorrow.

Mereces ter alguém que te ame pelo que és. Mereces alguém que fique feliz por acordar ao teu lado todas as manhãs.

Mereces alguém que queira passar o resto da sua vida contigo.

5. Acabar com a perseguição social

Looking at his Facebook profile won’t get you anywhere except to heartbreak.

You’ll stalk him, look at his amazing photos, see where he is going and with who he is with and it will only make you sad and maybe even jealous.

You’ll get sucked into an infinite hole of previous information and girlfriends.

Your obsession will just keep growing as you reveal new things about him. It will be like you’re addicted. You will just keep wanting more.

6. Recupere a sua autoestima

Sente-se e tenha uma conversa consigo próprio. Lembre-se de como é incrível.

Remind yourself that you don’t need anyone to be happy, especially not someone who doesn’t want to be with you.

Porque é que te negas a oportunidade de conhecer alguém que nunca te perderá de vista e que te protegerá de tudo e de todos?

You need to realize that if you go on a date with someone and they don’t call you back, it’s not your fault. You are not the one to blame if he didn’t like you but you liked him.

You need to be patient because if you stick to the one who doesn’t want to be with you, you’ll miss out on the one who does.

7. Don’t let him take advantage of you

By liking him and getting nothing in return, you’re just going to stay in his shadow.

Ele sabe que pode contar consigo, aconteça o que acontecer, e usá-la-á para conseguir o que quer.

Don’t allow yourself to be someone’s causality, someone’s convenient tool for the time he needs it.

Ele também pode atraí-lo, dando-lhe atenção suficiente apenas para o manter fisgado.

He’ll say something or he’ll ‘open up’ and give you a reason to think he is into you when he’s not. Don’t fall for that and manter o respeito por si próprio.

Remember that you are one special person. Don’t undermine and disrespect yourself.

Temos de nos orgulhar de quem somos porque, um dia, alguém que estava à nossa espera vai bater à nossa porta.

So, make sure you are there when he does instead of chasing someone who couldn’t care less.