Como parar de fugir dos problemas e porque é que o fazemos

We’ve all experienced it at some point. We worked really hard to accomplish something and we were full of determination, well, until it vanished and we started the race called running away from problems. 

Apesar de nunca ter sido nossa intenção enterrar aquele problema específico para debaixo do tapete, decidimos fazê-lo porque era mais fácil do que lidar com ele naquele momento. 

Embora isto possa parecer um método prático, na realidade, ao fazê-lo estamos a enganar-nos a nós próprios e a piorar as coisas.

Running away from our problems might reward us with short-term artificial happiness, but that’s all there is to it.

It’s one of the biggest delusions a lot of people deal with on a daily basis. Now, the question is: Why do we do it? 

Porque é que estamos fugir dos nossos problemas quando sabemos que eventualmente nos apanharão e transformarão a nossa vida, nem mais nem menos, num inferno?

To that and many other questions (as well as solutions), you’ll find the answers below.

8 maneiras de parar Fugir Dos seus problemas e lide com eles em vez disso

Fazer uma pausa e refletir

Em vez de entrar em pânico com um determinado problema ou de se sentir sobrecarregado por ele, pare por um momento e reflicta sobre ele.

Think about all decisions that you’ve made, what you could’ve done to make things better and how you can improve them now.

At this initial phase, you need to understand what’s happening in order to be able to face the problem.

Also, when you pause and reflect, you won’t get tempted to run away from your problems instead of facing them.

Estará concentrado nas coisas que acontecem à sua volta e no que sente em relação a elas, o que o levará a compreender uma determinada situação.

Só podemos lidar com algo se o compreendermos completamente. 

A matemática é simples:

Pausa e reflexão = Compreender = Enfrentar o problema.

Don’t blame other people or circumstances

When we’re feeling hopeless and helpless, we tend to blame other people or circumstances for the problem(s) we’re experiencing.

Fazemo-lo sobretudo para justificar a nossa decisão de fugir dos nossos problemas.

By blaming other people or circumstances, we’re telling the Universe that this is not our problem because someone else is to blame for it. Let me get one thing straight: Ninguém tem culpa de nada.

So, make sure you don’t blame anyone around you, the circumstances, or yourself because that’s a surefire way to become passive and avoid dealing with the problem. Instead, be realistic about it. 

Aceite o problema tal como ele é e esforce-se por tirar o melhor partido da situação. 

Aceitar o desconforto

One of the main reasons why we put our problems on hold is because we’re afraid to face and embrace discomfort. This always reminds me of the following lyrics by System Of A Down:

“‘Cause we are the ones that want to play

Sempre quis ir

Mas nunca queres ficar

E somos nós que queremos escolher

Sempre a querer jogar

But you never want to lose…” (Aerials)

Podemos aplicar esta analogia a quase tudo na nossa vida e soa mais ou menos assim: 

We want to lose weight, but we don’t want to break a sweat for a second or change our lifestyle.

We want a better job, but we don’t want to deal with the uncertainties and discomfort that come with finding a new one. 

Queremos experimentar amor incondicional, but we’re not ready to reciprocate, invest and make an effort. 

Em vez de fazer as coisas acima referidas, saia da sua zona de conforto, abrace-a e tenha em mente que nada de bom na vida é fácil. 

É preciso suar, lidar com as incertezas e fazer um esforço se quisermos aprender a lidar com os nossos problemas e evoluir.

Evitar a autocomiseração

Lembre-se que a autocomiseração é um dos maiores desperdiçadores de tempo. Não vai resolver os seus problemas e não o vai fazer sentir melhor. 

Em suma, não lhe trará nada de bom, mas apenas prolongará o sofrimento.

Assim, em vez de chafurdar na autocomiseraçãoConcentrar-se no auto-aperfeiçoamento. Encarar os problemas da vida como uma oportunidade para crescer, em vez de se esconder no medo. 

Que hoje seja a última vez que foge dos seus problemas, porque sabe que pode fazer melhor do que isso!

Começar a trabalhar na procura de soluções e desenvolver um plano

Depois de identificar o seu problema, comece a trabalhar na procura de soluções para ele. Se o seu problema é o excesso de peso, então a solução lógica seria perder peso, certo? Agora, tem de desenvolver um plano para o fazer. 

You have the option to go for a walk, go for a run, hit the gym regularly, change your diet (eat healthier food) and probably there are some more options, but we won’t go that far.

After you’ve listed all your options, you have to make a schedule and stick to it!

When you have everything organized, there are fewer chances that you’ll run away from your new regimen.

Avalie os seus progressos no final do dia e recompense-se em conformidade por ter atingido os seus objectivos. objectivos pessoais. 

(Este método funciona para qualquer problema que possa ter).

Procurar apoio

Don’t be afraid of seeking help and support from your loved ones, support groups, your family, close friends, a mental health professional and so on. 

Chances are that half of the people you know have gone through the same problem you’re going through now. 

And even if they haven’t, they can still enrich your perspective, give you helpful advice, suggest solutions and support you through the entire process of dealing with your problem. 

“If you’re out there and need help, please seek it. Be proud of your valiant day-to-day struggle. There is no shame in needing support.” – Jared Padalecki

Ver também: Equilibrar estes 10 aspectos da vida é a chave para a verdadeira felicidade

Ser persistente e paciente

Independentemente do tipo de problema, do método para o resolver e de todos os outros factores, lembre-se de ser sempre persistente e paciente, pois essa é a chave do sucesso. 

When you start dealing with your problems, you will probably go through lots of ups and downs, moments filled with a lack of motivation and similar and that’s completely normal. 

So, don’t let that discourage you from achieving your goals and instead use escapism as a form of coping mechanism. 

Todas estas coisas fazem parte do processo que conduz ao sucesso. 

Life doesn’t come with instructions, so we have to make mistakes and fall a few times in order to get up stronger, learn new things, and improve our strategy. 

All you need to do is believe that you can, do your best, be patient and you’ll already be halfway to solving your problem!

3 Most Common Reasons Why We’re Fugir dos problemas

We’re afraid of dealing with the problems head-on

One of the biggest and most universally known reasons why we run away from our problems is because we’re afraid of dealing with them directly and openly. 

Dizemos a nós próprios coisas como: “Oh, there is plenty of time. I’ll lidar com isso tomorrow/next week/(next year?)”

Convencemo-nos de que lidar com o problema que temos à nossa frente não é algo que deva estar no nosso lista de prioridades at the moment because, as always, we have other “more important things” to do. 

Sometimes, those things really are more important, but this doesn’t mean that we should run away from problems or postpone them for an eternity. Como sempre, a organização é a chave. 

But, unfortunately, we often forget that or we don’t want to remind ourselves of that, so we decide to leave those problems for better days, when dealing with them will be more convenient for us.

But, will those better days ever come? Hmm…

We’re afraid of the outcome

Sempre que nos encontramos a lidar com problemas (especialmente se for um grande problema), a primeira coisa que nos vem à cabeça é o seguinte: What if I don’t succeed? What if I make things even worse than they were?

São estas e outras questões semelhantes que nos impedem de continuar a lidar com os nossos problemas porque temos medo do potencial resultado.

So, let’s say that you’re in college at the moment and you have a crucial exam in the near future.

A pressão para passar é muito grande e sente-se isso com todas as fibras do nosso ser.

O que é que faz? Começa a estudar para o exame que se aproxima ou desiste de tudo com medo de chumbar? 

Some people choose the first method (dealing with the problem), while others opt for the other one (running away from the problem) because they’re afraid of the outcome. 

O medo é uma das emoções mais poderosas do universo que nos pode obrigar a agir de forma irresponsável e estranha. 

Even though we’re aware of the fact that our actions cannot be justified, we still act that way because in our mind it was the right thing to do.

We’re afraid of losing something/someone

This one is especially true when it comes to running away from relationship problems. It’s when you’re perfectly aware of the fact that things have gone south and your relationship is no longer healthy.

You wish things were different or like they used to be before, but you don’t want to do anything about it. Why? Because you’re afraid of the entire process that might take a turn in the wrong direction. 

Quer evitar discussões, brigas, ter de estar sempre a explicar as coisas, etc., porque pensa que, ao fazer tudo isto, as coisas podem agravar-se.

So, you choose to stay silent and passive for the time being (or forever?) because you don’t want to lose that person.

You don’t want to risk losing them because you think your life won’t be the same without them. And that might be true, but staying in an unhealthy relationship can ruin both partner’s mental health.

Mais uma vez, o medo pode ser tão poderoso ao ponto de nos paralisar e influenciar a qualidade das nossas relações e da vida em geral.

7 Reasons Why We Shouldn’t Run Away From Problems

Ao fugir dos problemas, toma-se um atalho (ou a saída mais fácil)

I’ve never been a fan of taking shortcuts or easy ways out because I’ve realized that they DON’T teach you anything! And this can be applied to every aspect of our lives. 

Running away from your problems teaches you impatience and neglecting the importance of making an effort. There’s no chance that you’ll learn something new if you don’t face it or fight for it. 

The easy way out doesn’t teach you anything valuable and that’s why you should NEVER run away from your problems if you want to evolve as a person. 

A paciência, o esforço e a perseverança são algumas das coisas mais importantes que aprendemos ao longo da nossa vida e que nos tornam mais fortes e mais sábios.

Os seus problemas continuam a existir 

Many people think that if they decide to run away from their problems, those problems will vanish into thin air. But, just because you aren’t dealing with them actively, this doesn’t mean that they no longer exist.

A verdade é que, por mais vezes que fujas de alguma coisa, essa coisa continuará a estar na tua MENTE. Porque não podes ordenar à tua mente que pare de pensar nisso!

The things we run away from and all the unsaid words haunt us on a subconscious level which means we won’t even be aware of it. (Mas o nosso corpo e a nossa mente aperceber-se-ão disso, com certeza).

Muitas vezes, as pessoas que estão a fugir dos seus problemas começam a sentir sintomas mentais e físicos da sua decisão.

Podem ter dificuldade em adormecer porque a consciência os está a corroer, ou podem ter ataques de pânico e similares.

The bottom line is that problems will still remain, just in another form that can be harmful for both your mind and body (until you decide to face the thing(s) you’ve run away from). 

Tem medo de se ligar e investir

When we’re running away from our problems, we start having a hard time investing and connecting with others.

No fundo do nosso coração, sabemos que quando/se surgir um determinado problema (seja numa relação, seja numa amizade), vamos fugir.

When we know that we won’t stick around when things get tough, we become more cautious about establishing and maintaining connections. 

Let’s say that you’ve met a great guy/girl and everything is running smoothly, until one day something (and it can be just about anything) happens.

Podem ter problemas de saúde mental ou familiares, o que também o influencia, porque esperam que os apoie.

Ou a vossa relação pode ficar preso numa rotinaO que significa que tem de encontrar uma forma de tornar as coisas novamente excitantes.

Now, if you’re a person who usually runs away from problems, that’s exactly what you’ll do in these situations as well. 

Assim, da próxima vez que conhecer alguém novo, terá medo de se relacionar com essa pessoa porque sabe que pode acabar por fugir novamente.

Ver também: 7 sinais de que tem filofobia - o medo de se apaixonar

Fugir dos seus problemas leva a fugir de si próprio

Did you know that running away from problems actually means that you’re running away from yourself? Yup. And we all know that we can’t run away from ourselves no matter how hard we try.

Dado que esses problemas ainda estão armazenados num compartimento especial do nosso cérebro, a única forma de fugirmos deles seria se sofrêssemos de amnésia (uma forma de perda de memória), normalmente causada por lesões cerebrais.

Since the majority of us are not that lucky (sarcasm intended), we don’t have a choice but to keep carrying problems with us as we’re actively running from them.

Or better said, as we’re actively running from ourselves.

It’s a limbo that can only be escaped by deciding to face problems instead of playing hide and seek with them.

Faz-nos sentir sem esperança

The truth is, you can TRY to run away from problems, but you can’t run away from o sentimento de desespero que lhe está associada. 

It’s when you’re alone and reflecting on everything that’s happened that you suddenly realize that you might have made a mistake by not facing that one problem.

It’s when you’re having difficulties falling asleep because you can’t stop thinking about that one thing you had to deal with, but for some reason you didn’t. 

Palavras não ditas e acções e desejos não realizados são os demónios que nos assombram sempre à noite. Todos estes encontros fazem-nos sentir sem esperança porque ainda sentimos o peso da nossa decisão de fugir.

Atrai mais problemas para a sua vida (e continua a fugir deles também)

Quando se foge dos problemas, isso torna-se a rotina, porque um problema está ligado a milhares de outros. 

Por exemplo, reprova num exame que era crucial para terminar a faculdade, encontrar um emprego, mudar de cidade, etc.

All these events are interconnected and they all depend on that one decision “to study for an exam or not”. 

You realize that things have gone south and whatever happens next, you’ll just avoid dealing with it as well. You end up in a loop that is far away from a happy place.

É uma corrida que nunca ganharás

I’ve learned the hard way that running away from my problems is a race that I can never win. It is an ongoing problem that will keep creeping on you until you decide to face it. 

The moment you decide to run away from problems, you doom yourself because you know you’ll never win.

Pode continuar a correr durante muito tempo mas, a dada altura, terá de regressar ao local de onde partiu. 

Então, porquê passar por estas dificuldades quando se pode ir direto ao assunto, concentrando-se em encontrar uma solução para o(s) seu(s) problema(s) particular(es)? Sim, essa é a verdadeira questão. 

25 Citações inspiradoras sobre fugir dos problemas

1. “I don’t run away from a challenge because I am afraid. Instead, I run toward it because the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet.” – Nadia Comaneci

2. “Going away won’t change anything if you’re running from yourself.” – Joyce Rachelle

3. “Wherever you go, there you are! You can’t run away from yourself, or the underlying situation, no matter where you go. You won’t find happiness anywhere, unless it’s already there in your heart, and therefore you have carried it with you.” – Andrew James Pritchard, Sukiyaki

4. “Running is the easiest solution to every problem. The capability of choosing this option on the basis of problem defines your personality.” – David Barik

5. “A lot of people think moving will solve their problems, when what they’re really doing is running away.” – Roxanne Snopek, The Chocolate Cure

6. “We feel that we can hide or run from problems, but we fail to understand that it isn’t the problem we hide or run from, but our capacity to handle that problem. Problems regularly attack due to our vulnerability to the problem; we often look at [the] situation giving us the stress & consider stress as the problem, but stress isn’t the problem, it’s our feeling or understanding of that situation which causes the stress.

Afastamo-nos, tentamos meditar, tomamos medicamentos e dedicamo-nos a actividades que rejuvenescem o cérebro. Assim, o stress desaparece. Continuamos com as nossas vidas e, passado algum tempo, a sensação de alegria também desaparece e voltamos a ficar stressados.

Problems are most vulnerable when it’s in the seed stage, but we water them with our ignorance or lack of attention and one day they become bigger than our expectation & imagination. We can still fight it, but we underestimate our capabilities & keep running away, that process gives it more nutrition to grow even bigger, and since we run away without solving them, they keep following us in new disguises; finally, one day we run out of places to run to and are left with stress, depressão, and anxiety.” – Shahenshah Hafeez Khan

7. “Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.” – Paul Tournier

8. “What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

9. “You can always improve your situation. But you do so by facing it, not by running away.” – Brad Warner

10. “Courage is a terribly important value. It means you don’t run away when things are tough. It means you don’t turn away from a friend when he or she is in trouble. It means standing up against the majority opinion… There’s a lot of people who won’t wear it on their sleeve, or display it through some heroic act. But courage is having the strength to do what’s honorable and decent.” – George H. W. Bush

11. “Stop leaving and you will arrive, stop searching and you will see, stop running away and you will be found.” – Laozi

12. “You can’t run away from yourself.” – Bob Marley

13. “To remain stable is to refrain from trying to separate yourself from a pain because you know that you cannot. Running away from fear is fear, fighting pain is pain, trying to be brave is being scared. If the mind is in pain, the mind is pain. The thinker has no other form than his thought. There is no escape.” – Alan Watts

14. “Running away will never make you free.” – Kenny Loggins

15. “You can run but you can’t hide.” – Emily Giffin

16. “Danger – if you meet it promptly and without flinching – you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!” – Winston Churchill

17. “Running away from things you find unpleasant causes suffering. But facing and challenging such situations will enrich your life.” – Senora Roy

18. “Running away from the problem only increases the distance from the solution.” – Nishan Panwar

19. “Running away was easy; not knowing what to do next was the hard part.” – Glenda Millard

20. “We acquire the strength we have overcome.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

21. “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” – Pema Chodron

22. “We run away all the time to avoid coming face to face with ourselves.” – Unknown

23. “Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the luta. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.” – Dr. Paul Tournier

24. “When someone is trying very hard to get something, they don’t. And when they’re running away from something as hard as they can, it usually catches up with them.” – Haruki Murakami

25. “Trying to run away is never the answer to being a fully human. Running away from the immediacy of our experience is like preferring death to life.” – Pema Chodron

A única maneira de resolver um problema é enfrentá-lo!

Fugir dos problemas é como entrar numa rua sem saída.

You can hide there for awhile and think that you’ve managed to run away from your problems, but eventually you will have to go back and face them.

Lidar com os problemas em vez de fugir deles é a única forma de ficar em paz consigo próprio e de viver uma vida feliz.

Manter-se persistente e nunca desistir até encontrar uma solução torna-o mais forte e mais sábio!

Estas são as qualidades que deve cultivar porque o ajudarão a atingir todo o seu potencial e a tornar-se a melhor versão de si próprio.

Ver também: 8 problemas de relacionamentos à distância (e como fazê-los funcionar)