É assim que encontrarás a força para te afastares de uma relação tóxica

Sabias no fundo que aquilo não era amor. O amor não era suposto ser assim. Não era suposto o amor magoar-te e diminuir-te.

Não era suposto o amor fazer-nos sentir menos dignos. Mas o teu amor fê-lo.

O teu amor partia-te o coração todas as manhãs que acordavas. O teu amor magoava-te com cada mensagem que recebias. O teu amor destruiu-te com cada palavra dura que disse.

It wasn’t always like that. When you met him, he wanted to give you the world. He wanted you to feel safe and protected.

He wanted to wrap you in his love and keep you safe in his arms—away from bad people, away from the vicious world.

Isn’t that every girl’s dream? Isn’t that all you’ve ever wanted?

Por isso, alinhaste. Por isso, aceitaste segui-lo cegamente porque viste um raio de sol ao fundo do teu túnel escuro e solitário.

Quem diria que ele só a arrastaria mais para a escuridão em vez de lhe mostrar a saída?

He began to change, to show his hidden ‘rotten’ face one tiny step at a time. It first began with nagging: “You shouldn’t have done this, you shouldn’t have done that…”, but gradually it became worse.

Ele começou a gritar contigo por cada coisa que desaprovava ou não gostava. Ele queria que tu dançasses ao som da música que ele tocava.

He wanted you to become someone else, someone up his street—a complete stranger to you. He wanted you to be perfect, his little work of art.

And you became that. You couldn’t recognize yourself anymore. You weren’t the person you used to be.

Pouco a pouco, uma coisa de cada vez, ele certificou-se de que isso acontecia. Corrigia-te em tudo o que fazias.

Even when you had your moments of complete soberness, when you weren’t drugged with his words and deeds, when you knew that you weren’t crazy and that you weren’t guilty of things he accused you of, you couldn’t fight back.

Ele desarmava-o logo no início da batalha.

Fazia-te acreditar em coisas que não eram verdadeiras, inventava palavras e dava-lhes vida, como se tivessem saído da tua boca.

Não havia esperança e estava perdido, sem ter para onde ir, a não ser ficar ali e esperar que ele acabasse.

Sometimes, you were even apologizing for things that you never did, just so you could shut him up, just so he would leave you alone already. You couldn’t listen to him and his screaming anymore.

Cada uma das suas palavras frias e sem coração trespassou-te mesmo no âmago do teu coração, como se fossem lâminas velhas e ferrugentas mas afiadas.

Those hurtful and degrading moments were the ones that led you to where you are today—far away from him.

Although you felt like you couldn’t take any of it anymore, you weren’t aware that every toxic move he made gave you more strength to afastar-se dele. Sei que já sabes isso.

Sempre que querias ir embora, ele puxava-te de novo para dentro . Sempre que o confrontava e lhe dizia que ele a tratava mal, ele pedia desculpa só para a calar, tratava-a bem durante uns dias e depois o círculo continuava.

Assim que ele visse que tinhas acalmado, voltava a ser um completo idiota.

Continuava a pensar que ele ia mudar. You knew you fell in love with him for some reason, but you couldn’t remember why anymore.

Por isso, continuou a pensar que ele ia mudar. Continuou a mentir a si própria que era apenas uma fase e que ele iria sair dela. Até tentou ajudá-lo a ver que ele não era uma boa pessoa.

All of that was in vain. These people can’t change unless they want to. You can’t do anything about it so it would be better if you’ never even tried. You should have left a long time ago.

But, it’s okay because you left. Somehow you found the strength and one simple goodbye did it. Done. He is history now.

Encontrou a força para aceitar a sua relação como ela era —a pack of toxic lies. Lying and cheating became more than you could handle.

You simply cracked. And he couldn’t stop there. Not just that he lied to you, he abused you emotionally by making you believe in things that were not true.

Ele enganou-a e manipulou-a para fazer o que ele queria.

Encontrou a força para finalmente pôr fim a tudo. You decided you weren’t going to hurt anymore. You decided that you weren’t going to waste your life on that pathetic bastard who was sucking you dry.

You decided you’d had enough of him tearing you up inside.

Encontrou a força para finalmente dizer a si próprio que merecia melhor. You know that life doesn’t last forever and you finally realized that you might miss the right one by putting up with the wrong one.

You knew it was time to change that, at any cost. The kind of love you were getting was not the love you deserved and the amount of love you were putting into your relationship wasn’t paid back, not even a bit.

Encontrou a força para aceitar que deixá-lo a magoaria . Of course, you’re going to hurt. No matter what he did to you, you got used to being around that person.

He was a part of your life for a long time and now he’s gone. Every change is scary, even one for the good. The scariest part is the one that comes right after breaking up.

Estás a sofrer por estares sozinha e, para não falar do facto de ele ter tomado conta de ti, sentires-te rejeitada e indigna.

Encontrou a força para assumir o controlo da sua vida. Esta é a coisa mais importante que tens de perceber. Finalmente percebeste que precisavas de fazer alguma coisa.

Percebeu que se recusaria a continuar a viver assim. Talvez agora precise da ajuda dos seus amigos ou da sua família, talvez precise de ajuda profissional.

Whatever it is, don’t hesitate to ask, to do something. That is only the first but most important step that awaits you in life. A life without abuse, a life without him.

Don’t let anyone define you and mold you like you’re a lousy and faceless piece of clay.

Don’t let anyone make you his own masterpiece because you are the only one who knows what you need, want and deserve. Never settle for anything else .