Estou a forçar-me a aceitar que estamos mesmo acabados

Chama-me patética e idealista, mas desde o momento em que te vi pela primeira vez, fiquei convencida de que serias o homem com quem passaria a minha vida.

I thought you’d be the person to hold my hand even when I grew old. That you’d be the person I’d start a family with and the man who would be the father of my children.

I was sure that our love story wouldn’t be ordinary and that it would be something which would last a lifetime.

Pensei que nada nem ninguém se poderia interpor entre nós e que o amor venceria tudo o que se atravessasse no seu caminho.

Don’t get me wrong—I never thought it would be perfect.

I was aware of the fact that we’d have some rough times. I knew we’d argue and that we wouldn’t get along about everything.

But somehow, I was always convinced we’d surpass all of this.

De alguma forma, sempre me convenci de que o amor que tínhamos seria mais forte do que todos os obstáculos e desafios que a vida nos colocasse à frente.

But I guess I couldn’t have been more wrong. And I guess I was the only one who thought this way.

Because you wouldn’t have left me the way you did if you were sure of our love the way I was. And I know it has been a while since you and I were together.

E a minha razão continua a dizer-me que tu won’t come back para mim e que as coisas entre nós nunca mais serão como dantes.

Mas o meu coração continua a recusar-se a aceitá-lo. E ainda tem esperança, contra todas as probabilidades. Ainda me recuso a aceitar realmente que acabámos.

I am still forcing myself to accept that our love story has come to its end. And that it wasn’t a final feliz.

I still have to remind myself that I don’t have a right to call you whenever I feel like it. That I can’t share every single moment of my day with you.

Que já não és a primeira pessoa com quem posso partilhar tudo o que me aconteceu de bom e de mau.

Ainda estou a crescer para perceber que és não é a minha pessoa para sempre and that you are not the person I’ll share my life with.

That all of our future goals, plans and dreams will never come true. That we’ll never accomplish all of the things we talked about.

That we’ll never visit all the places we wanted to visit and that we’ll never do everything we planned to do.

That I’ll never be your wife or the mother of your children.

That I won’t spend every morning of every day of my life waking up next to you. That I will never fall asleep in your arms again.

That I’ll never again hear your heartbeat.

That I’ll never kiss you and that you’ll never hold me in your arms. That I’ll never spend hours watching you sleep and listening to you breathe peacefully.

That I’ll never again see your face on my doorstep, waiting for me to come home. That I’ll never see a text or a missed call from you on my phone screen.

I even can’t believe that you’ll never annoy me anymore. That we’ll never argue over silly little things.

That you’ll never make me angry the only way you knew how to. That I’ll never fight with you and that we’ll never again have makeup sex.

Estou a forçar-me a aceitar que um dia, no futuro, um novo homem fará parte da minha vida.

That someday, I’ll be kissing another’s lips and that I’ll be waking up next to someone else.

I am still forcing myself to understand that someday, you’ll be just a distant memory which I’ll hardly remember.

That it’s about time for me to leave you in the past. That it’s time for me to finally get over you and to let go of everything that’s reminding me of you.

That it’s about time for me to stop holding on to the past and to focus on my present and future.

Ainda me estou a forçar a não te amar. E ainda me estou a forçar a seguir em frente com a minha vida.