Me estoy obligando a aceptar que hemos terminado de verdad

Llámame patética e idealista, pero desde el momento en que te vi por primera vez, estaba convencida de que serías el hombre junto al que pasaría mi vida.

I thought you’d be the person to hold my hand even when I grew old. That you’d be the person I’d start a family with and the man who would be the father of my children.

I was sure that our love story wouldn’t be ordinary and that it would be something which would last a lifetime.

Pensé que nada ni nadie podría interponerse entre nosotros y que el amor vencería todo lo que se interpusiera en su camino.

Don’t get me wrong—I never thought it would be perfect.

I was aware of the fact that we’d have some rough times. I knew we’d argue and that we wouldn’t get along about everything.

But somehow, I was always convinced we’d surpass all of this.

De alguna manera, siempre estuve convencida de que el amor que nos teníamos sería más fuerte que todos los obstáculos y retos que la vida nos pusiera por delante.

But I guess I couldn’t have been more wrong. And I guess I was the only one who thought this way.

Because you wouldn’t have left me the way you did if you were sure of our love the way I was. And I know it has been a while since you and I were together.

Y mi razón sigue diciéndome que won’t come back y que las cosas entre nosotros nunca volverán a ser como antes.

Pero mi corazón aún se niega a aceptarlo. Y todavía espera, contra todo pronóstico. Todavía me niego a aceptar realmente que hemos terminado.

I am still forcing myself to accept that our love story has come to its end. And that it wasn’t a final feliz.

I still have to remind myself that I don’t have a right to call you whenever I feel like it. That I can’t share every single moment of my day with you.

Que ya no eres la primera persona con la que puedo compartir todo, tanto lo bueno como lo malo, que me ha pasado.

Todavía estoy creciendo para darme cuenta de que eres no es mi persona de siempre and that you are not the person I’ll share my life with.

That all of our future goals, plans and dreams will never come true. That we’ll never accomplish all of the things we talked about.

That we’ll never visit all the places we wanted to visit and that we’ll never do everything we planned to do.

That I’ll never be your wife or the mother of your children.

That I won’t spend every morning of every day of my life waking up next to you. That I will never fall asleep in your arms again.

That I’ll never again hear your heartbeat.

That I’ll never kiss you and that you’ll never hold me in your arms. That I’ll never spend hours watching you sleep and listening to you breathe peacefully.

That I’ll never again see your face on my doorstep, waiting for me to come home. That I’ll never see a text or a missed call from you on my phone screen.

I even can’t believe that you’ll never annoy me anymore. That we’ll never argue over silly little things.

That you’ll never make me angry the only way you knew how to. That I’ll never fight with you and that we’ll never again have makeup sex.

Me estoy obligando a aceptar que en algún momento en el futuro, un nuevo hombre formará parte de mi vida.

That someday, I’ll be kissing another’s lips and that I’ll be waking up next to someone else.

I am still forcing myself to understand that someday, you’ll be just a distant memory which I’ll hardly remember.

That it’s about time for me to leave you in the past. That it’s time for me to finally get over you and to let go of everything that’s reminding me of you.

That it’s about time for me to stop holding on to the past and to focus on my present and future.

Sigo forzándome a no amarte. Y todavía me estoy obligando a seguir adelante con mi vida.