Já estou farto de esperar para ser "alguém" para ti

A pior parte da vida é esperar. A melhor parte da vida é ter alguém por quem vale a pena esperar.

Meu querido alguém,

Nunca fui uma rapariga que apressasse as coisas. Continuei a acreditar que as coisas boas levavam tempo.

Eu sabia que as coisas pelas quais se esperava muito tempo acabavam por ser as mais preciosas. Acho que a espera as tornou tão especiais e preciosas em primeiro lugar.

Sabes, eu nunca tive medo de esperar. Acreditava na beleza por detrás da espera.

Até que me apercebi que podia ser à espera de alguém e de algo que muito provavelmente nunca aconteceria.

E não há nada de belo em esperar por algo que nunca veio na nossa direção.  I’m sorry, but giving me just your crumbs wouldn’t cut it.

I am not the type of girl who is satisfied with the bare minimum. If I am ready to give you all of me, I’d expect nothing less in return.

E embora contigo eu estivesse sempre a usar o meu coração na manga e tu soubesses qual era a tua posição em relação a mim, eu nunca soube qual era a minha posição em relação a ti.

Quando amamos, devemos certificar-nos de que a outra pessoa sabe as coisas que queremos e que estão no topo da nossa lista de prioridades.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I ever made it to your list to begin with.

You held me at arm’s length and that’s exactly where you wanted me to be. Just close enough for you to reach me when you needed me and far enough for me to not be able to get too close to you.

Estão a ver o problema agora?

If by now you can’t wrap your mind around what you did wrong, then I have no problem pointing out the obvious:

Queria que me escolhesses a mim. I had no desire to be ‘another fish in the sea’. I didn’t want to be anybody, Na verdade, eu queria ser alguém para ti.

Esperei e esperei que fizesses um esforço, que me mostrasses que me vias como eu era e esperei que me escolhesses. Como se estivesse à espera de Godot.

No matter how much I was told waiting for you was in vain, I wasn’t gonna listen.

I guess I wasn’t ready to let you go. I wasn’t ready to free myself from the idea of what we could’ve been.

Eu tinha gravado na minha mente esta ideia de nós os dois juntos e esta ideia perfeita de que tu querias mesmo que eu fosse alguém para ti.

Mas, como já disse, era apenas eu a imaginar-te idealmente.

And I kept waiting for the ideal you to choose me. My dreams shattered when I realized that you weren’t perfect at all, it was me who made you that way.

See, this perfect you would never have led me on. This perfect you wouldn’t have given me just enough attention so I’d believe you were into me.

This perfect you would never have used me the way you used me. It didn’t just occur to me that we could have been something more, you actually made me believe it.

And right when I got my hopes up, you pulled back. You decided I’d gotten enough love from you and that you now had me for a lifetime.

When I started doubting us, you’d do your magic and I’d fall again for you again.

I was hooked, truth be told. The naive side of me believed in this dream that I’d finally found someone who cared for me and wanted me.

O lado que tinha passado por muitas situações infernais na vida sabia melhor. E finalmente deixei o outro lado tratar dessas coisas.

Hoje, decidi que isto ia ser o dia em que deixei de esperar.

Hoje ia ser o dia em que deixaria de passar um minuto sequer do meu tempo a pensar em ti.

I don’t want to think about the things we might’ve been when you never actually believed we could be a thing in the first place.

I won’t beg someone to love me. I won’t beg you to love me. Aprendi há muito tempo que não vale a pena tentar fazer com que alguém fique.

I am too valuable to chase someone who doesn’t know my worth and to keep waiting for someone who doesn’t acknowledge my value.

I want to be loved unconditionally and I shouldn’t have to fight so hard for it.  Eu valho mais do que isso.

Just so you know, whether this was your intention or not, you didn’t get the best of me. You were pretty close, but I got out just in time.

Waiting for you didn’t leave me broken at the end, but it did teach me a valuable lesson.

As a matter of fact, I still believe that good things take time. I’m as naive as I was at the beginning of the story, you know.

I choose to believe in love and in the existence of someone out there who won’t have to think twice before choosing me. I believe there is someone who won’t make love feel so hard.

I believe there is someone who’ll see my worth and acknowledge my value on his own.

I believe that there is someone to whom I won’t be just anybody but who’ll want me to be his everything. That someone is worth the wait. You are not.

I still believe good things take time. It’s just that I have come to realize that you’re not really a good thing for me.

Então, Goodbye My Somebody,

A rapariga que merecia muito mais