Ya No Espero Ser "Alguien" Para Ti

Lo peor de la vida es esperar. Lo mejor de la vida es tener a alguien a quien merezca la pena esperar.

Mi Querido Alguien,

Nunca fui una chica que apresurara las cosas. Seguía creyendo que las cosas buenas llevaban su tiempo.

Sabía que las cosas por las que esperas mucho tiempo acaban siendo las más preciadas. Supongo que la espera las hizo especiales y preciosas en primer lugar.

Nunca tuve miedo de esperar. Creía en la belleza detrás de la espera.

Hasta que me di cuenta de que podría ser esperando a alguien y algo que muy probablemente nunca sucedería.

Y no hay nada hermoso en esperar algo que nunca se dirigió hacia ti.  I’m sorry, but giving me just your crumbs wouldn’t cut it.

I am not the type of girl who is satisfied with the bare minimum. If I am ready to give you all of me, I’d expect nothing less in return.

Y aunque contigo siempre llevaba el corazón en la manga y tú sabías a qué atenerte conmigo, yo nunca supe a qué atenerme contigo.

Cuando amas, debes asegurarte de que la otra persona sabe las cosas que quieres y que están en lo más alto de tu lista de prioridades.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I ever made it to your list to begin with.

You held me at arm’s length and that’s exactly where you wanted me to be. Just close enough for you to reach me when you needed me and far enough for me to not be able to get too close to you.

¿Ves el problema ahora?

If by now you can’t wrap your mind around what you did wrong, then I have no problem pointing out the obvious:

Quería que me eligieras. I had no desire to be ‘another fish in the sea’. I didn’t want to be anybody, En realidad quería ser alguien para ti.

Esperé y esperé a que hicieras un esfuerzo, a que me demostraras que me veías tal como era y esperé a que me eligieras. Como si estuviera esperando a Godot.

No matter how much I was told waiting for you was in vain, I wasn’t gonna listen.

I guess I wasn’t ready to let you go. I wasn’t ready to free myself from the idea of what we could’ve been.

Había esculpido en mi mente esta idea de tú y yo juntos y este perfecto tú realmente querías que yo fuera alguien para ti.

Pero como ya he dicho, sólo era yo imaginándote idealmente.

And I kept waiting for the ideal you to choose me. My dreams shattered when I realized that you weren’t perfect at all, it was me who made you that way.

See, this perfect you would never have led me on. This perfect you wouldn’t have given me just enough attention so I’d believe you were into me.

This perfect you would never have used me the way you used me. It didn’t just occur to me that we could have been something more, you actually made me believe it.

And right when I got my hopes up, you pulled back. You decided I’d gotten enough love from you and that you now had me for a lifetime.

When I started doubting us, you’d do your magic and I’d fall again for you again.

I was hooked, truth be told. The naive side of me believed in this dream that I’d finally found someone who cared for me and wanted me.

El lado que había pasado por muchas situaciones infernales en la vida lo sabía mejor. Y finalmente dejé que el otro lado se encargara de esas cosas.

Hoy, decidí que esto iba a ser el día que dejé de esperar.

Hoy iba a ser el día en que dejara de pasar ni un minuto de mi tiempo pensando en ti.

I don’t want to think about the things we might’ve been when you never actually believed we could be a thing in the first place.

I won’t beg someone to love me. I won’t beg you to love me. Aprendí hace mucho tiempo que de nada sirven los planes desesperados de intentar que alguien se quede.

I am too valuable to chase someone who doesn’t know my worth and to keep waiting for someone who doesn’t acknowledge my value.

I want to be loved unconditionally and I shouldn’t have to fight so hard for it.  Valgo más que eso.

Just so you know, whether this was your intention or not, you didn’t get the best of me. You were pretty close, but I got out just in time.

Waiting for you didn’t leave me broken at the end, but it did teach me a valuable lesson.

As a matter of fact, I still believe that good things take time. I’m as naive as I was at the beginning of the story, you know.

I choose to believe in love and in the existence of someone out there who won’t have to think twice before choosing me. I believe there is someone who won’t make love feel so hard.

I believe there is someone who’ll see my worth and acknowledge my value on his own.

I believe that there is someone to whom I won’t be just anybody but who’ll want me to be his everything. That someone is worth the wait. You are not.

I still believe good things take time. It’s just that I have come to realize that you’re not really a good thing for me.

Así que, Adiós Mi Alguien,

La chica que merecía mucho más