Como conseguir uma conclusão quando o seu ex se recusa a falar consigo

No final de uma história, é de esperar que, pelo menos, mereçamos uma explicação para o facto de as coisas terem acabado como acabaram.

And you ask yourself, “After all I gave him, did I deserve to go through the silent treatment? Why doesn’t he want to talk to me?” And then the more he doesn’t want to talk to you, the more you feel like you need closure.

It’s kind of natural for us os seres humanos para procurar uma solução. It’s kind of normal for us to want to end one story and to be able to wrap our head around why some things ended the way they did.

We just need to know why something happens, but the problem comes when this one person who is able to give you an explanation doesn’t actually want to talk to you.

So, what do you do when your ex won’t talk to you?

When your ex doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s time for you to start realizing certain things.

Firstly, you’re going after someone who thinks you don’t deserve a simple explanation.

You’re going after someone who wants you to be the last one to let go so that he could be able to say he was the one who cared less. Obviously, that’s something he’s proud of.

Secondly, you’ll be clinging to your past if you continue to seek closure from a person who actually isn’t willing to give you any.

You’ll appear as a crazy girl who’s desperately wanting to hear from her ex-boyfriend. You’ll appear as a girl who comes up with all kinds of excuses just to talk to her ex.

You’ll obsess over whether he’s just pretending to be over you.

Por último, é preciso deixar de procurar uma conclusão nos sítios errados. A sua paz é mais importante do que a necessidade de ouvir o que correu mal de alguém que o abandonou.

De alguém que não teve a decência de lutar e se esforçar o suficiente por essa única pessoa que realmente o amava.

Remember, you’re the only one who needs closure. So if you’re the only one who needs it, then you’re only who can give you it.

What I’m trying to say is that you’ll need to be the one to close the doors on a failed relationship. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but because the doors otherwise simply lead nowhere.

Even if you deserve an explanation, this doesn’t mean you’re actually going to get one. The worst thing you can do is let the unfinished stories of the past stop you from living your life.

A pior coisa que se pode fazer é deixar que o passado interfira com o futuro.

A melhor vingança é seguir em frente, ultrapassar o problema e continuar a ter sucesso. Nunca dê a alguém a satisfação de o ver sofrer.

Looking for closure from a person who doesn’t want to talk to you is a joke. The only apology you need is the one you owe yourself for staying as long as you did.

A única conversa que precisa de ter é consigo e a única pessoa que precisa de voltar a ver é a pessoa no espelho.

No one likes to be ignored, and no one likes to not get answers to their questions. But what you have to learn is that any answer you are so desperate to get won’t change anything, and it may or may not be the truth anyway.

A verdade é que, a menos que se deixe ir, a menos que perdoa-se a si próprioSe não perdoar a situação e se não compreender que a situação acabou, não pode seguir em frente.

1. Reconhecer que fez tudo o que estava ao seu alcance

What’s done is done. If your ex doesn’t want to talk to you, then stop chasing after him. Stop wanting him to do anything. Remember that you did all you could but even that wasn’t enough.

No final do dia, lembra-te do que mereces e que, normalmente, as coisas que acabam por chegar ao fim nunca foram feitas para acontecer.

Relacionadas: 98 Melhores últimas palavras para dizer a um ex (não importa a situação)

2. Pensa no que mereces

Always know that you deserve much more than a man who doesn’t pick up the phone when you call.

You deserve a man who’ll respect your feelings even when your story comes to an end.

You don’t deserve someone who’ll you’ll need to chase so if he isn’t ready to give you what you need, let him go.

Encontre o que precisa noutro lugar, encontre o seu encerramento em si mesmo.

3. Esqueça a sua validação

You don’t need him to give you closure so that you’d be able to validate your relationship.

What happened was real, you should be able to realize this at least based on the pain you’re feeling now.

O que aconteceu está escrito no teu coração e nenhuma última palavra de um homem será capaz de mudar isso.

Relacionadas: Como se vingar do seu ex: 12 maneiras comprovadas de o fazer

4. Pensa no tipo de pessoa com quem queres estar

When you think about it, you’ll see that the person you want to be with has a completely different personality to the one you’ve been with. And this should help you to get your closure.

Because you’ll see that not only will you not be wanting a new start with the person who already hurt you once, but that you should be the one cutting all the strings.

5. Perdoa-te a ti próprio e perdoa-lhe a ele

A parte mais difícil é perdoar-lhe for all the pain you’ve been through. But sometimes that’s the only thing that will help you move on.

Forgive him for treating you the way he did. Forgive yourself for how long you’ve been holding onto something that was just breaking you. But don’t ever forget.

Keep what you’ve been through at the back of your mind so you have something to remind you about the hell you’ve been through once he reaches out to you again.

E como saber se ele vai mesmo tentar voltar a entrar na sua vida? Bem, porque eles tentam sempre.

Relacionadas: Será que ele sente a minha falta agora que o deixei sozinho?