Porque é que os homens não gostam de mim? 13 maneiras de os afastar acidentalmente

Why don’t guys like me? It seems that pretty girls like o meu melhor amigo get all the attention and I’m stuck here hoping for that first date that just isn’t coming. What am I doing wrong?

First of all, looks aren’t everything. While I’m certain that you’re a beautiful woman, there are numerous characteristics that you have to factor in when it comes to winning over guys.

Pode ser particularmente difícil para as jovens que ainda estão no liceu e não têm a certeza do tipo de homem de que realmente precisam.

Mas deixem-me dizer-vos uma coisa. Se eu pudesse voltar atrás no tempo e mudar alguma coisa, seria sem dúvida a pressão a que me sujeitei para querer parecer uma supermodelo.

I was so sure that the whole nice girl thing wouldn’t get me anywhere, so I did everything in my power to be the kind of girl I thought guys want. Enganei-me redondamente.

These things come with age but you should know that being good-looking isn’t the key to getting o homem certo.

And by focusing on all the wrong things, you’re ruining your chances of finding him.

Trying too hard to be someone you’re not and obsessing over every little thing is off-putting.

But don’t worry, I’m going to help you out so that you never have to wonder what’s wrong with you again.

Abaixo, revelo 13 things that guys (secretly) can’t stand sobre as raparigas e como se pode mudar rapidamente a situação.

Why Don’t Guys Like Me? These Are The Most Likely Reasons

Because you think you’re not good enough (and it shows)

Here’s the best dating advice you’ll hear today. If you don’t consider yourself good enough, they won’t either.

Lembrem-se disso.

Tudo começa com a perceção que temos de nós próprios.

Guys pick up on things like that. If you’re constantly questioning your every move and apologizing every two minutes, it starts getting exhausting.

No wonder you often ask yourself: Why don’t guys want to date me? It’s because you make yourself appear unappealing.

Quanto mais cedo começar a criar uma imagem mais positiva de si próprio na sua cabeça, melhor será a sua vida amorosa vai receber.

A tendência é para gostar da ideia dele, não do tipo em si

You fall for the Tinder version, the kind of guy who only exists in movies, so when you see them in real life, you start pulling away. That’s not cool.

How would you feel if a guy ran away the moment he realized that you weren’t this perfect Barbie he had created in his mind? It would feel horrible.

You’ll never find the right guy as long as you hold on to this idea of a perfect guy who doesn’t exist.

Notícia de última hora! Toda a gente tem defeitos. Tu, eu, o vizinho do lado, até o Brad Pitt é (provavelmente) totalmente imperfeito.

But that doesn’t make a person any less worthy. It just makes them human.

Perdes o interesse assim que um homem começa a gostar de ti

Este é o teu modus operandi. Costumas desejar um tipo durante semanas antes de avançares.

Começamos a imaginar na nossa cabeça cenários perfeitos de vocês os dois juntos e é uma sensação de sonho.

Esperas, secretamente, que ele repare em ti e dá o primeiro passo. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t.

Mas quando isso acontece e se consegue realmente a sua oportunidade, perde-se o interesse.

Suddenly, when he’s no longer the forbidden fruit that you secretly fantasize about, it’s no longer as exciting or dreamy.

But here’s the deal. Life isn’t a fantasy. It’s very much real.

Perder o interesse no momento em que se consegue que alguém goste realmente de nós revela insegurança da nossa parte.

Could it be that you’re not actually ready for commitment or are there other underlying factors at play here?

Ver também: O que é um relacionamento exclusivo e 15 sinais de que você está em um

You try way too hard to be someone you’re not

Don’t believe all those dating sites, nobody looks that way in real life! We can all take a hot pic and use Photoshop.

But trying so hard to look a certain way (when it couldn’t be further from who you really are) is just sad.

Guys don’t like girls who look and talk like every other single girl they’ve ever dated.

They like a woman who has something to say. A woman who looks the way she looks and doesn’t feel the need to conform to society’s rules.

That’s what’s hot and that’s what gets you dates.

Just ask your guy friends what kind of girls they like and you’ll see what I mean. Substance over beauty any day.

Analisa demasiado os seus movimentos e pensa demasiado nas coisas

Your body language gives you away every time. The way you can’t calm your hands when you’re suspicious over where he was.

The way your eyes roll when he tells you he was at his buddy’s house.

The way you constantly text him, asking about his whereabouts and making him feel stalked. Just like you don’t like being controlled, neither do guys.

Overanalyzing your man’s every move gets you further and further away from him. It shows a severe lack of trust and insecurity that plagues your relationship.

Preocupa-se mais com a aparência do que em ser simpático

Looking great doesn’t get you the guy. Sure, it’ll attract him toward you and keep him around for a bit but ultimately, if you’re not kind, respectful and considerate, you can call it quits.

Don’t go around saying things like, “Guys don’t like me and I have no idea why,” if all you put into the relationship is your looks. That’s never going to be enough.

Se queres que este rapaz se torne o teu melhor amigo, tem de haver uma ligação genuína entre os dois.

As relações superficiais murcham mais depressa do que se possa imaginar.

Tem o hábito de publicar demasiadas coisas demasiado cedo nas redes sociais

The first time you go on a date, you take a pic and post it. You don’t even give it a second thought.

Ever since high school, you’ve loved documenting every part of your life.

But here’s the deal. You can totally post whatever you want, as long as it doesn’t make your date feel awkward.

Consegue imaginar como ele se sentiria ao ver uma foto inesperada de vocês os dois no Instagram com hashtags como #em objectivos para um casal ou #em um homem melhor do que qualquer outro antes mesmo de o oficializarem?

If you’re wondering, “Why don’t guys like me?” é por isso! Pára de saltar etapas. É preciso tempo para evoluir até esta fase e a pressa só o pode prejudicar.

A sua química física é óptima, mas falta-lhe em todos os outros departamentos

Adoro um homem que me consegue animar sem que eu tenha de lhe dizer que preciso. Isso demonstra uma verdadeira ligação.

E embora eu adore o contacto físico (um aspeto importante, sem dúvida), uma ligação emocional e mental é igualmente vital.

How can you be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t get how you think?

The physical aspect will only take you so far but for as long as you don’t nurture every other part of a relationship, guys will have a tendency to hit the road.

Ao contrário do que se pensa, não é só isso que os homens querem de uma relação. The more mature he is, the more inclined he’ll be to leave if things aren’t clicking in every way.

Aposta-se sempre em homens indisponíveis (e queima-se sempre)

Here are my two cents on relationships. Always go for a guy who can make you LOL when you’re feeling down, as opposed to someone who only likes your perky derrière.

Haven’t you learned by now? If you keep yearning for guys who are clearly not bom para si, you’ll always get burned.

The whole bad boy shtick doesn’t get you your happily-ever-after.

E tenho a sensação de que já sabes isso mas, de alguma forma, continuas a esperar o contrário.

You’re too clingy and don’t have a life outside of the relationship

Isto é contraproducente para o objetivo de uma relação a longo prazo.

While it’s comforting and reassuring having someone you want to spend every second with, you both need space of your own.

Your love life will never thrive as long as you keep the guy as the center of your universe. Guys get scared away when they realize you’re being too clingy.

O facto de não terem vida fora da relação faz com que tenham medo do que o futuro lhes reserva.

The longer you’re together, the clingier you’ll become, which could easily turn into possessiveness and that’s the last thing anyone would find attractive.

Ver também: 4 maneiras de superar com sucesso a dinâmica da relação romântica de empurra-empurra

You’re excessively confident (which translates as arrogant)

Back in high school, no one was ever quite as confident and self-assured as you. And while you took it as a good thing, others didn’t.

A sua elevada autoestima pode traduzir-se em arrogância.

I know that you probably aren’t like that but it’s important to be self-aware. Be confident but don’t act like you’re better than others. It’s an ugly personality trait.

Humility goes a long way. Guys don’t appreciate someone who always acts condescending and like they know better.

Even if you do think that you’re always right, don’t let others know. Stay true to yourself but give credit where credit is due.

Falta-lhe objetivo e paixão na vida

Don’t let yourself be a 30-year old woman with no purpose in life other than finding a guy. That’s not cute.

Don’t allow yourself to get to a primeiro encontro and when the guy inevitably asks you about your hopes and dreams, you just shrug it off. That’s a major red flag.

Claro que nem toda a gente tem a sua vida planeada, mas pelo menos sabe o que quer e trabalha para isso.

Se continuar a deixar as coisas fluir, sem saber de onde virá o seu próximo ordenado, os homens fugirão para as colinas.

They don’t need a girl who’ll depend on them for everything.

Relationships are 50-50. You get as much as you’re ready to give.

Falas mal dos teus ex, o que faz com que os homens hesitem em aproximar-se de ti

Esta é uma das principais coisas que os homens acham profundamente pouco atrativo. Who’s to say that you won’t talk badly about him if things don’t work out?

Ninguém gosta que falem de si nas suas costas.

If your reputation precedes you, it’s time to re-evaluate it. What do you really get out of badmouthing an ex?

Traz-lhe alegria ou uma sensação de encerramento?

In my experience, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth that won’t go away as long as you cling on to it.

So don’t be surprised if guys aren’t that into you right now.

How could they be? They all fear that one day, you’ll start spreading rumors about them that aren’t necessarily true.

Como é que podes dar a volta à situação e fazer com que os homens gostem de ti?

Mude a sua mentalidade = mude a sua vida

Isto é algo que todos os jovens precisam de ouvir. A sua mentalidade é o que controla não só a sua vida amorosa, mas toda a sua vida.

The way you think is how you allow yourself to act. And if you’re insecure and feel unworthy, that’s what you’re going to project into the world. So stop.

Olhe-se longa e duramente ao espelho. O que é que vê? Uma mulher forte, capaz e bonita que já passou por muito e ainda está de pé.

A woman who knows her worth and doesn’t let anyone affect it.

THAT’s what you need to tell yourself every time you think you’re not good enough.

Remind yourself of every painful memory and heartache you’ve survived and realize what a badass you are.

Gostar de um homem por aquilo que ele é, não por aquilo que QUEREM que ele seja

Isto é outra coisa importante. Tens de parar de criar falsas percepções dos homens na tua cabeça. Ninguém é perfeito.

We’ve all got stuff we’re dealing with.

But guess what? That doesn’t make anyone any less worthy or acceptable. Embrace people for who they are.

Aceite as suas pequenas peculiaridades e defeitos irritantes. Tu também as tens e todos os que te rodeiam também. Se isso fizesse com que as pessoas não pudessem ser namoradas, toda a gente na Terra estaria solteira.

Relationships are based on accepting each other’s flaws and respecting their individuality. Learn it, practice it, live it.

Don’t let yourself pull away the moment it starts getting real

Eu percebo. Eu também costumava ter medo de compromissos. Depois de ter passado por algumas grandes relação PTSDA abertura tornou-se um verdadeiro desafio.

But do you know what I realized? If I keep believing that everyone is going to be like my ex, I’m never going to find love.

Por isso, arrisquei-me, enfrentei os meus medos e aprendi a dar uma oportunidade aos rapazes. Felizmente, com o tempo, encontrei a minha alma gémea.

It doesn’t happen overnight and it’s not easy but the sooner you allow yourself to let people in, the easier it becomes.

Seja VOCÊ MESMO (todos os outros já estão ocupados)

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” ― Steve Maraboli

Don’t for a second think that someone else is better than you just because they look different (prettier) in your eyes.

Your value isn’t based on how well you can pretend to be what others want you to be. It’s all about being your true, authentic self in a world full of copycats.

Besides, by not conforming to anyone’s norms, you’re going to stand out from the crowd. And what’s cooler than that?

Ver também: 6 maneiras de ser leal a si mesmo e por que isso é tão importante

No momento em que começar a pensar demais, PARE e faça algo produtivo

A sério, pensar demais é a pior coisa para uma relação a longo prazo.

It creates scenarios that aren’t real, breeds distrust and leads to serious issues that aren’t really there.

Por isso, da próxima vez que se apanhar a analisar excessivamente uma situação perfeitamente simples, pare.

Conte até dez antes de dizer algo de que se possa arrepender e aprenda a confiar nas pessoas.

If your man says something, why is your first instinct to think he’s lying? Just because your ex had a habit of being disloyal, it doesn’t give you the right to treat your current man the same.

If he gives you no reason to overthink something, then don’t. It’s going to do wonders for your mind and your relationship.

It’s what’s inside that counts (good looks will only get you so far)

"Não há nenhuma modelo, nenhuma atriz, nenhuma candidata a Miss América que possa ofuscar uma mulher feliz, confiante e segura.” ― Mandy Hale

Amen! Being pretty isn’t all that. Having a nice rack isn’t a guarantee for a happy love life.

Ter um rabo que os homens gostam de olhar at won’t get you a deeper connection. Why? Because without a happy, confident, kind personality, you’ll never get what you want in life.

As I’ve already mentioned, os rapazes apaixonam-se por beleza, mas ficam pela classe (com uma pitada de atrevimento).

Work on how you treat others and how respectful and understanding you are. Don’t put all your efforts into looking like a Greek goddess. Be good-looking but exude kindness!

Deixem as redes sociais fora da vossa relação (pelo menos na fase inicial)

Let me give you a priceless piece of dating advice. Leave your phone alone while you’re experiencing those first stages of a relationship.

The world doesn’t need to know who you’re seeing or how things are going. Some things are sacred, don’t you agree?

Out of respect for your date, keep things between yourselves for a while. It’s only going to be more amazing, knowing that he is your little secret that no one knows about.

That way, even if things don’t work out, you’ll avoid having to explain to everyone the ins and outs of your two-week courtship.

Aprender a ligar-se a um nível emocional

Para que uma relação funcione verdadeiramente, é necessário que exista uma ligação genuína sobre a qual se possa construir.

Tem de haver alguma substância que lhe permita ver essa pessoa como algo mais do que apenas alguém muito atraente.

The physical aspect of a relationship is so important but if you devote all your efforts into being under the sheets and neglect to connect mentally and emotionally, there’s really nothing there.

If you want a future with this person, make sure you feel comfortable, seen and heard when you’re with them. If all they are is a really good booty call, that’s all they’ll ever be.

Stop going for guys you know you can’t have

We all yearn for what we can’t have; that’s the allure of forbidden fruit.

And the more you’re told that this guy is unavailable, the more you’ll lust after him.

This is something I can understand if you’re still really, really young.

Mas à medida que se vai tornando uma mulher madura e capaz, o seu gosto pelos homens deve acompanhá-la.

If you know that someone is taken, don’t plot a way to his heart. It won’t end well.

Poupe-se ao desgosto Não se apaixone por homens inatingíveis e indisponíveis e opte por alguém com quem possa ter um futuro.

Encontrar alegria na vida antes de a encontrar com um homem

Foi isto que a minha mãe sempre me disse e estou muito grata por lhe ter dado ouvidos.

As long as you’re unfulfilled and unhappy with your own life, a man can never truly make you feel whole.

You need to find it in yourself first. Find that thing that motivates you to wake up every morning. Search for something that’ll give your life meaning.

Procure realizar-se a si própria antes de encontrar um homem com quem partilhar uma vida.

That is a sure-fire way to create a happy, healthy, lasting bond that won’t end in tears and disappointment.

Ver também: 15 coisas que deves colocar na lista de necessidades da tua relação

Work on your demeanor – you can be both confident and kind

Para mim, não há nada mais atraente do que uma mulher bonita com um coração de ouro.

Just because you look like a supermodel, it doesn’t mean that you should stop being kind.

Está sempre a perguntar-se: “Why don’t guys like me?” Já pensaste que esta pode ser a razão?

Faça um exame de consciência e descubra que tipo de pessoa quer ser recordado.

While we’re at it, I’ll just leave this jaw-dropping quote here, and let you do what you want with it.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

Persiga os seus sonhos e objectivos para encontrar a realização que procura nos homens

Don’t ever put your life on hold while on a quest for a guy.

Não só ficará ressentido consigo próprio para o resto da sua vida, como também levará a uma perturbação e infelicidade em a sua vida amorosa.

Maybe guys don’t like you because you put all your focus on them and stop thinking about your life outside of the relationship.

But you can easily put an end to that. Follow your passion. Go after that job you’ve wanted since you were in high school.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do anything. You know your own abilities.

Don’t let anyone limit them and instead, reach for the stars. Happiness lies outside of your comfort zone.

Manter os problemas da relação em segredo por respeito ao seu ex

A lot of people I know tend to bad-mouth their ex the moment it’s over. But to me, this is the worst quality in a person.

Unless he truly did you wrong, don’t stoop to that level. Be better than that. Leave the past in the past and move on to better things. It’s much more dignified.

Your break-up may suck but that doesn’t mean that you get to trash-talk the guy the next day just because you’re dissatisfied with your own life.

If things didn’t work out, that’s tough but everything that went wrong can serve as a lesson on what to do better next time.

Boa sorte com o seu homem!

Hopefully, I’ve managed to answer your question: “Why don’t guys like me?” Here’s what I hope you take away from this article.

You can look like a legit supermodel but if you don’t put any effort into being a kind person, it’ll never work out.

Guys are attracted to pretty girls but it’s the personality that makes them stay!

So stop focusing on the wrong things. Be confident but don’t push them away.

Know what you want in a guy but don’t try to change them into something they’re not. Appreciate your ligação emocional tanto quanto o físico.

Relationships are tough work. You’re not always going to like this person, no matter how hot they are.

So it’s important for there to be a genuine bond, so as to have something to hold on to quando as coisas se tornam difíceis.

Now, read all of this again if you have to and go get that man I know you’re pining for.

Seja o seu verdadeiro e autêntico eu e deixe as coisas evoluírem ao seu ritmo natural.

Ver também: Como atrair um homem: 19 maneiras à prova de bala para chamar a atenção dele