10 grandes erros para encontrar o homem certo

Para onde quer que se olhe, há conselhos sobre como encontrar o amor.

Toda a gente lhe diz o que deve fazer para atrair os homens e como se deve comportar para os manter.

However, nobody focuses on the moves you shouldn’t make during your pursuit for Mr. Right.

Well, that’s about the change. We’re bringing you some of the most common mistakes many women make while dating.

1. Don’t seem desperate

The first thing on the list of things you shouldn’t think of doing while looking for your match made in heaven is being too desperate.

I know that you want to find love but please, don’t go after it at all costs.

It’s one thing being available and putting yourself out there, but chasing guys at all costs is a big no-no. Besides, trust me when I tell you that guys smell desperation a mile away.

E fogem dela o mais depressa que podem.

É que, sempre que um rapaz vê que uma rapariga está demasiado ansiosa por ter uma relação, classifica-a como sendo demasiado carente.

Assusta-se com o facto de ela querer limitar a sua liberdade e enjaulá-lo, pelo que tem um impulso imediato para se salvar.

It’s completely normal that you want to commit and settle down but don’t let your entire life revolve around it. Don’t turn your pursuit for love into the only thing that matters.

2. Don’t expect someone to complete you

If you expect your boyfriend to make you happy while you feel miserable and to turn your life the right way up again, think again because it’s unlikely to happen.

Yes, the right man can make your days more beautiful and interesting, but it’s not his job to give your meaning to your existence.

Primeiro, tens de estar contente e feliz com a tua vida tal como ela é agora. Tens de te amar a ti própria antes de um homem se atirar a ti.

Remember: You’re not looking for another half; you’re a complete individual with or without a man by your side.

Besides, you’ll be much more attractive to the opposite sex once they see that you don’t need them.

Mostre a um rapaz que quer estar com ele, mas que pode passar sem ele a qualquer momento, e prometo-lhe que todos eles irão atrás de si.

3. Don’t get yourself involved with men who are taken

So, I can’t stress this enough: Stay away from homens casados ou de homens que estão numa relação.

The hell with it, stay away from those who have unresolved situationships going on as well. They don’t have to be in a labelled relationship to mean trouble.

First of all, a man who cheats on his girl with you will never change. Even if you manage to get him to leave her and be all yours, he’ll do the same thing to you sooner or later.

Also, do you really want to be someone’s second choice?

Sente-se realmente bem com o facto de ser a terceira mulher numa relação e de ser a outra mulher, quando merece muito mais?

Finally, don’t do it for the sheer sake of this girl who sits comfortably at home, thinking that her life is in perfect order while this douchebag is fooling around behind her back.

You can be her in no time and trust me, it wouldn’t be pretty.

I know that you can fall for a taken man before you realize what hit you. However, even when that happens, don’t go after your primary instincts. Let your reason take over.

4. Don’t repeat your mistakes

I bet you have some relationship experience by now. And if you’re smart, you could have revised your behavior and come up with some kind of conclusion.

Reconsider your mistakes up till now and don’t repeat them.

Para começar, parar de se envolver com o mesmo tipo de homens – they’re clearly not cut out for you.

Por exemplo, se tem o hábito de sair com jogadores que acabam por o magoar, mude para rapazes com menos experiência.

After that, change your dating game because everything you’ve been doing in the past clearly hasn’t worked.

If you’ve been jumping into new relationships too fast, this time, give yourself time to think things through before acting on them.

Por outro lado, se o seu excesso de pensamento o tem impedido de relaxar e o tem feito perder algumas oportunidades, para variar, vá com a corrente e seja espontâneo.

5. Don’t give too many second chances

Another major “don’t” of finding love is not going back to your previous relationships.

It’s one thing if you and your ex had a small inconvenience that led to your breakup. In that case, there is nothing wrong in giving your relationship another try.

However, if this is the man you keep breaking up with and coming back to, someone you’ve given more segundas oportunidades mais vezes do que pode contar, seja honesto consigo mesmo e admita que a sua relação está estragada para além de qualquer reparação.

Things with some people simply don’t work, as much as you try. There is no point in wasting anymore of your time on an ex you’ll never be happy with, so it’s better to say your final goodbye right now.

6. Don’t expect him to change

Quando conhecemos um homem a um nível mais profundo e nos apercebemos de quem ele realmente é, temos duas opções: aceitá-lo ou afastá-lo nesse instante.

Tudo o resto é inútil e, mais cedo ou mais tarde, tornar-se-á uma tortura para ambos.

Lembre-se que o seu  love can’t change a man que se recusa a fazê-lo ele próprio.

Even if you succeed in making some modifications, this man’s true temper and personality will swim up to surface after some time.

In the meantime, you’ll both be miserable – him because he has to pretend to be something he’s not to please you, and you because you can’t get him to become the man you want him to be, as much as you try.

Afinal de contas, este tipo de acordo é tudo menos justo. Gostaria que o seu parceiro tentasse matar o seu espírito e o moldasse de acordo com os seus padrões imaginários?

I bet not. Well, don’t try doing it to others either.

7. Don’t look for perfection…

If you think these points are going to help you find your Prince Charming on a white horse, I have to break your bubble and tell you that ain’t happening.

And you know why? Because there is no such thing as a perfect man and you shouldn’t be looking for one either.

After all, you’re not perfect either. Every guy you meet will have his set of flaws that you’ll just have to deal with.

Besides, a real life relationship is not a fairytale. The goal is to get yourself a man who’ll make an imperfectly perfect match with you.

8. …but don’t lower your standards either

However, this doesn’t mean that you should accept whatever is served to you. It doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to have standards or that you should settle for less than you deserve.

You see, it’s perfectly normal if the guy you’re dating has some imperfections and character flaws.

However, if he is an abuser or a cheater, doesn’t want to commit, or has some other personality traits you consider to be deal breakers, leave him without thinking twice.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is lowering your standards because someone told you that you’re too picky.

Em vez de o fazer, orgulhe-se do facto de saber o que e quem quer e mantenha-se firme.

9. Don’t think that love is enough…

You’re a romantic soul who believes in romance and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s nice for a change to see a girl who follows her heart in today’s world.

No entanto, se quiser encontrar o seu "Sr. Certo", tem de se tornar um pouco mais realista. Detesto ser eu a dizer-vos isto, mas às vezes,  love isn’t enough.

You can love a man with your entire heart but if there is no compromise, understanding, trust, and respect between you two, it is quite unlikely that you’ll succeed.

Besides, there is a thing called compatibility. If you don’t get along with your partner and have completely different goals and views on life, love won’t be able to save your relationship.

10. …but don’t get into loveless relationships

No entanto, mesmo que o amor por si só não seja suficiente, continua a ser crucial.

Please, don’t allow yourself to waste time on a bunch of loveless relationships in your search for the right guy.

Naturally, you can’t grow feelings for a man the moment you start dating him.

Nevertheless, if some time goes by and you see that he hasn’t entered your heart, don’t be scared to walk away, no matter how great this guy might be.