10 cosas que no debes hacer para encontrar a la persona adecuada
Mires donde mires, hay consejos para encontrar el amor.
Todo el mundo te dice qué cosas debes hacer para atraer a los hombres y cómo debes comportarte para conservarlos.
However, nobody focuses on the moves you shouldn’t make during your pursuit for Mr. Right.
Well, that’s about the change. We’re bringing you some of the most common mistakes many women make while dating.
1. Don’t seem desperate
The first thing on the list of things you shouldn’t think of doing while looking for your match made in heaven is being too desperate.
I know that you want to find love but please, don’t go after it at all costs.
It’s one thing being available and putting yourself out there, but chasing guys at all costs is a big no-no. Besides, trust me when I tell you that guys smell desperation a mile away.
Y huyen de ella tan rápido como pueden.
Verás, siempre que un chico vea que una chica está demasiado ansiosa por tener una relación, la clasificará como si fuera demasiado necesitado.
Le asusta que ella quiera limitar su libertad y enjaularle, por lo que siente un impulso inmediato de salvarse.
It’s completely normal that you want to commit and settle down but don’t let your entire life revolve around it. Don’t turn your pursuit for love into the only thing that matters.
2. Don’t expect someone to complete you
If you expect your boyfriend to make you happy while you feel miserable and to turn your life the right way up again, think again because it’s unlikely to happen.
Yes, the right man can make your days more beautiful and interesting, but it’s not his job to give your meaning to your existence.
Primero tienes que estar contenta y feliz con tu vida tal y como es ahora mismo. Tienes que amarte a ti misma antes de que un chico salte a hacerlo.
Remember: You’re not looking for another half; you’re a complete individual with or without a man by your side.
Besides, you’ll be much more attractive to the opposite sex once they see that you don’t need them.
Demuéstrale a un chico que eliges estar con él, pero que podrías hacerlo sin él en cualquier momento, y te prometo que todos irán a por ti.
3. Don’t get yourself involved with men who are taken
So, I can’t stress this enough: Stay away from hombres casados o chicos que están en una relación.
The hell with it, stay away from those who have unresolved situationships going on as well. They don’t have to be in a labelled relationship to mean trouble.
First of all, a man who cheats on his girl with you will never change. Even if you manage to get him to leave her and be all yours, he’ll do the same thing to you sooner or later.
Also, do you really want to be someone’s second choice?
¿De verdad te sientes bien siendo la tercera en discordia en una relación y siendo la otra mujer, cuando te mereces mucho más?
Finally, don’t do it for the sheer sake of this girl who sits comfortably at home, thinking that her life is in perfect order while this douchebag is fooling around behind her back.
You can be her in no time and trust me, it wouldn’t be pretty.
I know that you can fall for a taken man before you realize what hit you. However, even when that happens, don’t go after your primary instincts. Let your reason take over.
4. Don’t repeat your mistakes
I bet you have some relationship experience by now. And if you’re smart, you could have revised your behavior and come up with some kind of conclusion.
Reconsider your mistakes up till now and don’t repeat them.
Para empezar, dejar de involucrarse con el mismo tipo de chicos – they’re clearly not cut out for you.
Por ejemplo, si tienes la costumbre de salir con jugadores que acaban haciéndote daño, cámbiate a chicos con menos experiencia.
After that, change your dating game because everything you’ve been doing in the past clearly hasn’t worked.
If you’ve been jumping into new relationships too fast, this time, give yourself time to think things through before acting on them.
Por otro lado, si tus pensamientos excesivos te han impedido relajarte y te han hecho perder algunas oportunidades, para variar, déjate llevar y sé espontáneo.
5. Don’t give too many second chances
Another major “don’t” of finding love is not going back to your previous relationships.
It’s one thing if you and your ex had a small inconvenience that led to your breakup. In that case, there is nothing wrong in giving your relationship another try.
However, if this is the man you keep breaking up with and coming back to, someone you’ve given more segundas oportunidades hasta donde puedas contar, sé sincero contigo mismo y admite que tu relación está rota sin remedio.
Things with some people simply don’t work, as much as you try. There is no point in wasting anymore of your time on an ex you’ll never be happy with, so it’s better to say your final goodbye right now.
6. Don’t expect him to change
Cuando conoces a un hombre a un nivel más profundo y te das cuenta de quién es en realidad, tienes dos opciones: aceptarlo o alejarte en ese instante.
Todo lo demás es inútil y se convertirá en una tortura para ambos, tarde o temprano.
Recuerde que su love can’t change a man que se niega a hacerlo él mismo.
Even if you succeed in making some modifications, this man’s true temper and personality will swim up to surface after some time.
In the meantime, you’ll both be miserable – him because he has to pretend to be something he’s not to please you, and you because you can’t get him to become the man you want him to be, as much as you try.
Después de todo, este tipo de acuerdo es todo menos justo. ¿Te gustaría que tu pareja intentara matar tu espíritu y moldearte según sus estándares imaginarios?
I bet not. Well, don’t try doing it to others either.
7. Don’t look for perfection…
If you think these points are going to help you find your Prince Charming on a white horse, I have to break your bubble and tell you that ain’t happening.
And you know why? Because there is no such thing as a perfect man and you shouldn’t be looking for one either.
After all, you’re not perfect either. Every guy you meet will have his set of flaws that you’ll just have to deal with.
Besides, a real life relationship is not a fairytale. The goal is to get yourself a man who’ll make an imperfectly perfect match with you.
8. …but don’t lower your standards either
However, this doesn’t mean that you should accept whatever is served to you. It doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to have standards or that you should settle for less than you deserve.
You see, it’s perfectly normal if the guy you’re dating has some imperfections and character flaws.
However, if he is an abuser or a cheater, doesn’t want to commit, or has some other personality traits you consider to be deal breakers, leave him without thinking twice.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is lowering your standards because someone told you that you’re too picky.
En lugar de hacerlo, siéntete orgulloso de saber qué y a quién quieres, y mantente firme.
9. Don’t think that love is enough…
You’re a romantic soul who believes in romance and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s nice for a change to see a girl who follows her heart in today’s world.
Sin embargo, si quieres encontrar a tu hombre ideal, tienes que ser un poco más realista. Odio ser quien te lo diga, pero a veces.., love isn’t enough.
You can love a man with your entire heart but if there is no compromise, understanding, trust, and respect between you two, it is quite unlikely that you’ll succeed.
Besides, there is a thing called compatibility. If you don’t get along with your partner and have completely different goals and views on life, love won’t be able to save your relationship.
10. …but don’t get into loveless relationships
Sin embargo, aunque el amor por sí solo no basta, sigue siendo crucial.
Please, don’t allow yourself to waste time on a bunch of loveless relationships in your search for the right guy.
Naturally, you can’t grow feelings for a man the moment you start dating him.
Nevertheless, if some time goes by and you see that he hasn’t entered your heart, don’t be scared to walk away, no matter how great this guy might be.
