É assim que te vais tornar no tipo de mulher que não precisa de validação

Preocupa-se com o que os outros pensam de si? Leva a opinião dos outros a peito e permite que ela controle a sua vida e afecte o seu humor?

Yes, I could say that’s wrong. Don’t allow others to have such power over you, or all that BS about how you’re a strong woman on your own and you should deixar de procurar validação from others to start flourishing…

But no, I’m going to be honest and say that I totally get you.

I get you because I was once struggling with that same overwhelming constant need for other people’s validation. Nunca tive fé em mim própria. Nunca acreditei que era inteligente, bonita ou suficientemente boa, a não ser que alguém mo dissesse.

Some people say it’s a habit, but I wouldn’t agree. Habits can be easily broken – this is something way different and way more difficult to get rid of.

I can’t say I freed myself from the shackles of that constant craving for affirmation-validation, but I definitely did find a way to tame it and keep it under control.

Ter plena consciência do seu próprio valor e não precisar da validação de ninguém é definitivamente uma das melhores e mais atraentes qualidades que uma mulher pode ter.

Let’s tame our cravings for validation together through some very simple steps.

Aceitar-se como é

A verdade é que todos nós temos alguns defeitos e imperfeições e nenhum de nós é completamente perfeito.

Infelizmente, muitas vezes, os nossos defeitos e esses lados maus cegam-nos e tornamo-nos completamente incapazes de ver esse outro lado de nós, esse lado melhor e mais brilhante.

Para sermos completamente felizes e nos sentirmos confortáveis na nossa própria pele, temos de nos aceitar tal como somos. É preciso aceitar cada parte de si mesmo, por mais imperfeita que seja.

Faz o que te faz feliz

You. You. You. Everything in your life should revolve around you, and that’s why your own happiness should be more important to you than anyone else’s.

Deves sempre ouvir o teu coração e fazer coisas que te façam feliz. Nunca se pode por favor, todas as pessoas.

There will always be some who will agree with your actions and choices, while on the other hand, there will always be those who’ll condemn them all and make you look bad.

Por favor, pára de pedir demasiadas desculpas

Yes, you should be strong enough to accept your mistakes and offer your sincere apologies. However, that doesn’t mean that you should apologize for everything you do.

You should never apologize for things you don’t consider wrong or for things that were beyond your control.

Utilizar declarações diárias de autoestima

One of the things that really affect your need for other people’s validation is the way you communicate with yourself.

If you never have positive self-talk, then surely it will make you think bad about yourself, and you will try to find people who’ll give you the affirmation you need.

Ver também: 180+ Afirmações Diárias Mais Empoderadoras Para Mulheres

Pára de tentar explicar-te a toda a hora

You don’t owe anyone explanations about your actions. You’re an independent woman, so start behaving like one.

Even if you make a mistake sometimes, even if your own choices and actions lead you in the wrong direction, you shouldn’t be sorry for it. If others don’t like it or don’t agree with it, it’s their problem.

Critiques, along with advice from other people, are always welcomed, but don’t give them the right to interfere too much in your life.

Your life is yours and only yours. You’re the only one who has the right to control it. Defenda sempre as suas palavras, as suas acções e as suas escolhas, por mais erradas que possam parecer aos olhos dos outros.

Reforçar a sua confiança

Aprendi que as pessoas que têm a necessidade de procurar a validação de outras pessoas para se sentirem bem consigo próprias têm enormes problemas de autoestima.

That’s why you always have to work on yourself. Self-awareness and self-confidence are two very powerful weapons in this fight.

That’s why you have to sharpen those tools. You have to build your core confidence if you want to win this battle and become a strong, fearless, and independent woman.

It’s time to take your eyes off your insecurities

A verdade é que nenhum de nós está imune ao terrível sentimento de insegurança em relação a si próprio.

It’s good to be aware of some of those not-so-perfect parts of us, but instead of hating yourself because of your inseguranças and allowing them to make you a weak person, you should embrace them because, after all, they’re a part of you, too.

Sometimes it’s necessary to mute the background noise

There will always be some people who think they know better than you and who’ll want to interfere in your life or try to control it.

Think of that as unnecessary noise that you need to silence. It’s just their opinion, it doesn’t mean it’s right. Ouça o seu instinto.

Ouça o seu coração e siga os seus desejos, aconteça o que acontecer.

Marche ao ritmo do seu próprio tambor

Choose a path you like and stick to that choice no matter what. Stick to that path you’ve chosen for yourself even if the whole world chooses to go the other way.

This is a decision that only brave people can make. I want to warn you, it’s not going to be ideal always.

Sometimes, life will throw many lemons on your path and try to knock you on the floor and defeat you. When that happens, don’t expect others to tell you what you should do with it.

Quando isso acontecer, quando a vida começar a atirar limões para cima de ti, apanha cada um deles, junta-lhes um pouco de vodka e faz um maldito martini. Desfrute do seu cocktail com o belo cheiro da vitória.