Lamento, mas já não me mereces

Minha querida,

I’m one foot out the door and I already know I’m going to miss you. I’m going to miss everything good we had and I’m going to miss having your love.

I’m even gonna miss loving you, feeling your warmth on a daily basis and I’m going to miss how my hand fits perfectly in yours.

But I made my decision and even if you tried to stop me, I’m not sure you could.

It’s not that I don’t love you anymore, my emotions were always pure. What makes it even worse is that I think I’ll love you for as long as I am alive.

You’ll always have a spot in my heart and I think your name will forever remain somewhere in the back of my mind.

Unfortunately, I’m not so sure you’ll ever have a spot in my life again.

Despite my feelings, this, what we have, is something I have to end. I just can’t do this anymore.

I can’t be the one to always forgive, I can’t be the only one who’s constantly trying to understand you and to see things from your perspective.

I can’t keep finding excuses for your bad behavior and I can’t be the only one dragging us forward.

I kept trying and trying, and whenever I felt bad about something that happened between us I’d sleep on it and it would be better in the morning.

I’d force myself to believe in whatever excuses you made and I forced myself to believe that things would change, that you’d finally realize what you were doing to me, how much you were hurting me.

I believed that at some point you’d think about me and you’d put my needs before the needs of others. But what I hoped for never came to life.

Esforcei-me tanto para ser tão bom para ti. Esforcei-me tanto para te fazer feliz, para nos fazer funcionar.

Guardei os meus sentimentos porque não queria sobrecarregar-te com as minhas emoções.

Eu queria ser forte por nós os dois, mas algures no caminho, cansei-me. Cansei-me de te dar o meu amor e não receber nada em troca.

Perdi-me no amor que sentia por ti e esqueci-me de cuidar de mim. Continuei a dar e tu continuaste a receber tudo sem nunca me dares nada em troca.

The feeling that you were with me just so you wouldn’t be alone, the feeling that you were with me just so you could have someone, never left me.

Everything you did seemed to me like it was programmed. Because whenever I pulled back after you hurt me, you’d reach for me and show me how it felt to be loved by you.

Mas eu só tinha esses momentos quando tu sabias que tinhas feito algo de errado. Tu eras seletivo com o teu amor e eu era a única que se empenhava desde o início.

Maybe that was my mistake. Maybe not holding back but giving you everything I had before you actually deserved it was the thing that made you think I’d do anything for you, that I’d never leave you.

But there was not much I could do about that, as it’s just the way I am.

When I love, I love wholeheartedly. But I’m also a girl who can walk away without ever looking back once she realizes that someone doesn’t deserve me.

E once you’ve lost me, I’m gone forever.

Truth be told, saying ‘no’ to you was always hard for me. I somehow had no issue with saying ‘yes’ and that’s why my behavior might surprise you now.

Isto é algo que nunca vos mostrei, mas agora acho que chegou a altura de vos mostrar to outro lado do meu amor.

It’s time to show you how much I respect myself. And I respect myself enough to know when it’s time to give up e ir-se embora.

It’s time to say ‘no’ to love and it’s time for me to take care of myself and my heart because you’re obviously not willing to do that.

Decidi direcionar todos os esforços que coloquei em nós os dois apenas para mim agora. Só me resta o meu orgulho porque queimaste tudo até às cinzas.

We were together but you never made me feel yours, not even from the start. And now it’s time to admit the harsh truth and to walk away.

I don’t mean as much to you as you mean to me. Staying would mean giving up on myself and I’m sorry, but it’s time for me to stop being so selfless and to start thinking what it is that I need.

I need to guard my heart because you’re the man I can’t picture my life without and I’m not half as important to you.

Nunca me deste metade do amor que eu te dei.

Nunca me mostraste o teu apreço, nunca tive o tempo que queria de ti, apenas o que achavas que eu merecia, e nunca deste valor às coisas que fiz por ti.

Nunca pensaste em como as tuas acções me afectariam e nunca paraste por um segundo para olhar para mim e pensar em quem tinhas ao teu lado.

But I’ve figured out who I have next to me – a man who doesn’t deserve my time, my love or my efforts anymore.

Um homem a quem dei tudo de mim e não recebi nada em troca.

So, my darling, I’m sorry, but as far as I’m concerned, a nossa história acabou.

Boa sorte,

A rapariga que se esforçou tanto