O maior erro que já cometi foi dar tudo de mim a ti

Admito-o! Apaixonei-me como um louco, sem pensar no amanhã. Dei-te tudo o que tinha, sem te pedir que me retribuísses. Fui um tolo que usaste para os teus planos sujos. Eras um ator tão bom. Nunca vi alguém agir assim, com tantas emoções e o poder de fazer as pessoas acreditarem no que tu queres. E fez o mesmo comigo, a rapariga inocente que só queria experimentar um pouco de amor. Eu só queria alguém que cuidasse de mim, que me beijasse e me abraçasse porque queria e não para conseguir o que queria.

Admito-o! I made a terrible mistake. I totally lost myself over a toxic man like you. And the moment I gave my all to you, I made a mistake that almost killed me. Living with you, surrounded with your toxic love cost me my nerves, my health and my energy. You were like a vampire sucking all the positive energy from me. You were feeding your poor soul on me, not letting me leave you. During every attempt to leave you, you would tell me that you will change, that you are going through a crisis and that you love me. You knew a great way to deceive a girl who loved you. You knew what to say to make me feel good. You knew when to touch me so I could shiver from pleasure. You knew everything about me because I was like an open book to you. I told you even my darkest secrets while I didn’t have a clue about you. I told you all about my life while you kept your mouth shut. You didn’t want to reveal anything about yourself because there was nothing nice to tell.

Admito-o! I stayed longer than I should have, just because of your perfect lies. And that is something I can’t forgive myself for. You told me you are going to change but you kept on with as vossas mentiras e a fazer batota. Sempre que tiveste oportunidade, traíste-me enquanto me dizias que eu era a única mulher da tua vida e que estarias perdido sem mim. Contigo, nunca me senti suficientemente bonita, digna ou inteligente. Eras sempre tu que comandavas a conversa, que davas sugestões, que decidias. E eu era como uma pessoa à parte, à espera que acabasses e te dissesse que, mais uma vez, concordava contigo. Nunca nada estava de acordo com as minhas regras e, enquanto vivia contigo, perdi a minha auto-confiança nas coisas em que era boa antes.

Admito-o! A relationship with you was my biggest mistake and I will never forgive myself for staying with you for such a long time. I was a fool for letting you treat me like that. I gave you my all while you couldn’t even try to fight for what we had. You were such a coward for making me stay with you all this time without any intention to give me the love I needed. And you didn’t let me go find someone who would cherish me just the way I am. You wanted to have someone you could cure your frustration with. And that was the woman who loved you with all her heart. Even if you saw that you were hurting me, you didn’t stop even for a second. You didn’t feel any remorse for what you were doing to me and I was too weak to even react to that injustice.

Admito-o! I gave my love to the man who didn’t deserve it. I gave my all to someone who took my heart and walked all over it. I fell for a man who couldn’t love just one person, to be faithful to only one person. I was crazy in love with a man who couldn’t even fight for me when I wanted him to do that. And in the end, I totally lost myself over a man like that. I completely lost myself over a man who meant the world to me but who closed his eyes to all the love coming from me. And now, after all this time alone, I can finally understand that you were just a lesson I had to learn. You were just someone who showed me what I DON’T deserve.

E tenho de admitir que Aprendi esta lição de uma forma dura. Ainda sinto o sabor desse amor tóxico e ainda estou a lutar para voltar a ser o meu antigo eu. Mas nunca perdi a esperança de dias melhores. E sei que há-de chegar uma altura melhor. Talvez não amanhã ou daqui a um mês, mas há-de chegar. Um dia, o meu coração sarará completamente e estará pronto para um amor verdadeiro. Um dia, voltarei a ser o meu antigo eu. E nunca deixarei que nenhum homem me trate como tu fizeste.

One day, I will feel the love I craved so much with a man who won’t try to change me. He will just accept me completely and thank you for letting me go.