Depois de me ter quebrado, também me tornou indisponível para os outros

I’m sure you’ve heard stories about girls who change emotionally after they get hurt. About girls who become guarded and more careful.

Sobre raparigas que deixam de acreditar no amor e que se tornam medo de amar.

I’m sure you’ve heard stories about girls who become heartless after they have their heart broken.

Que constroem muros à sua volta e que se protegem depois de alguém que amavam os ter destruído completamente.

I’m sure you’ve heard stories about raparigas que se tornam indisponíveis para os outros, depois de certos tipos os partirem em pedaços.

Bem, se já o fez, sabe tudo sobre mim porque sou uma dessas raparigas.

Eu sou uma das raparigas que amou o homem errado com todo o meu coração. Uma rapariga que lhe deu tudo o que tinha e uma rapariga que achava que ele a merecia.

I was a girl who put the effort into a relationship which had no future and a girl who was ready to sacrifice herself for this man’s sake.

Mas também fui uma rapariga que se magoou. Uma rapariga que foi tomada como garantida e cujas vulnerabilidades e amor foram usados contra ela.

And after I finally ended things with this man, I changed drastically. I stopped believing in people and I thought everyone’s only intention was to hurt me and to partir-me o coração.

I started thinking that all men were the same and I wasn’t even ready to give some guy a chance because I thought I would just end up heartbroken, like I was in the past.

Por isso, estava pronto a fazer tudo o que fosse preciso para impedir que isso acontecesse. Levantei a guarda e construí grossas paredes emocionais à volta do meu coração, que eram suficientemente fortes para manter todos os intrusos fora.

And yes, I’ve become an mulher emocionalmente indisponível. Or some might say that I’ve become emotionally damaged as well.

Sim, este modo de vida privou-me provavelmente de muito amor.

I’ve probably missed out on meeting some extraordinary people and it is possible that I’ve failed to let in some amazing guys who deserved to have a chance.

E podem dizer que isto não tem nada de bom.

But the truth is that although I’ve become unavailable for others to love me, I’ve also guarded myself from every possible emotional pain.

I’ve also become unavailable for anyone else to hurt me. I’ve prevented my heart from getting broken again.

I’ve saved myself from any potential tears and disappointments. I’ve saved myself from wasting my time and energy on someone who isn’t worthy of me lifting a finger.

I’ve saved myself from getting my hopes up and planning a future with someone who has been manipulating me all along. From falling in love with someone who just wants to get into my pants.

I’ve saved myself from being emotionally or abusado fisicamentede ser enganado e de ser humilhado.

De ser culpada por cada pequena coisa que corre mal e de alguém me dizer que não sou digna do seu amor ou atenção.

I’ve saved myself from being taken advantage of, from being led on and from being taken for granted.

De me perguntar porque é que um homem que eu amo tanto nunca me pode amar o suficiente e porque é que ele nunca pode ser só meu.

I’ve saved myself from hours and hours of staring at a blank phone screen, waiting for him to call me or to answer my text.

From falling asleep all dressed up, waiting for him to pick me up. I’ve saved myself numerous sleepless nights and from an ocean of tears.

De implorar a um homem que me escolha e que me ame. De implorar para que ele se comprometa comigo.

I’ve saved myself from questioning my worth and wondering why I was never enough. From asking myself if there was something more I could have done to make the man I love love me more.

And I don’t know if that was the best thing I could have done. I don’t know if I could have chosen another way to deal with my abandonment trauma and with my heartbreak.

Mas o que eu sei é que era a única coisa que eu sabia fazer. E que, na altura, eu via este caminho como a única forma de me curar e de me ajudar.