We’ve all been there: you meet someone, you hit it off, and you fall into the same old pattern of endless conversations that never seem to lead to anything. 

O TALKING palco. 

If you want another failed talking stage, another round of questioning what’s wrong with you and rebuilding your self-confidence, go for it. But if you want to know why talking for months makes you feel miserable and without self-respect, keep scrolling down.

A excitação inicial e a consequente desilusão, a espera constante pela sua atenção, o pensar demasiado e o sentir-se estúpido por se abrir a alguém novo são apenas algumas das reasons why I’m done with the talking stage.

Some of you might say that the talking stage is necessary if you want to find true love, and you’re right – but not if it lasts for half a year. 

1. “I want this.” vs. “I’m not sure I want this.”

It’s natural to want to keep the conversation going while you try to figure out if you’re compatible or not. But if you’re talking more than actually doing anything, it’s time to take a step back and rethink your decisions. 

They can go hours or even days without texting you and you can’t say “Where are you?” because you need to be polite and not stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. So you go with the well-behaved “Oh, how was your day?”

Queres mesmo isso de uma relação? Spending endless hours thinking if you said something wrong, acted too clingy or if they just aren’t interested in you.

That’s why saying NO to the talking stage will let you clearly define what you WANT and DON’T WANT from your partner. And you won’t go against your principles. You owe yourself at least that much self-respect!

2. “You won’t manipulate me anymore.’’

Use o seu cérebro. Tem mesmo vontade de passar por outra fase de conversa que vai durar vários meses? Contar a alguém a história da sua vida, traumas, coisas favoritas, o que o faz rir? Só para ser tocado no final?

Vais-te apaixonar por outro “I really love spending time with you but I’m just not ready yet. Just give us some time and we will make it work. I promise?” 

Ter respeito por si próprio significa valorizar-se o suficiente para fugir da pessoa que está a dizer isso. Nunca serás facilmente manipulado e magoado se trabalhares para os teus interesses e não para os deles.

Unless you’re a hunter looking for self-sabotage and destruction, you better stop the chase.

A fase da conversa é uma forma de a outra pessoa o(a) manter como namorado(a) sem o(a) tornar realmente seu(sua) namorado(a). Parece-me manipulação https://t.co/yFP3KFIPHL

— CAPA🦄 (@yungcapa) 25 de julho de 2019

3. “I’m done wasting my time with you.”

Amadurecer é perceber que a fase da conversa é uma perda de tempo. Eu disse o que disse. Pensa nisso.  Vai mesmo sair com o seu parceiro de sonho ou acabou de desperdiçar três meses da sua vida? 

Todos sabemos que a segunda opção é, infelizmente, a mais provável. 

A maior parte de nós nunca passou da fase da conversa, porque depois da fase da lua de mel, tradicionalmente, eles batem-nos com o “I think I’m not ready for a relationship now.’’ 

Acabamos por desperdiçar o nosso tempo, emoções e vontade de encontrar alguém novo. Com cada nova fase de conversação falhada, o seu desejo de entrar noutra só diminui. 

You’re left alone with your 2 AM thoughts thinking about never talking to anyone new again. Your time is you – so have some self-respect and don’t spend yourself on someone who doesn’t deserve you. 

I totally understand. As an adult, "talking stage" is a waste of time. You either want to sleep with me, do business with me, hang with me for browny points, or have ONE meaningful conversation you think is important to you.But we are not going to be in a "stage" of just talking

- Nafimane Halweendo. (@Naffy101) 26 de março de 2021

4. “I’m finally able to maintain my self-esteem.”

A fase da conversa é como o sinónimo de confusão. Durante este período horrível, questiona-se tudo: o seu valor, a sua personalidade e os seus interesses. 

The sad reality is that this talking stage is a one-way street in which most of the time, you’re the one making effort. Every time you’re the first to respond, you become more and more insecure about yourself.

Por isso, acredite em mim quando digo que dizer não à fase da conversa não só a ajudará a manter a sua autoestima, como também a fará sentir-se mais forte.

You’ll finally stop worrying about where you stand, whether you’re good enough, and what all those mixed signals mean. 

Lembrar sempre

Bye, bye, talking stage! It’s time to show off your maturity and strength by recognizing when something isn’t the right fit for you and standing up for yourself.

Don’t be afraid to put your foot down, it will do wonders for your peace of mind. 

So, be brave and don’t let anyone talk you into something you don’t want – it’s the best way to take your self-respect to the highest level.