4 razões pelas quais estar com um gaslighter/narcisista pode tê-lo traumatizado

Toda a gente admite o facto de que uma relação com um gaslighter/narcisista é extremamente prejudicial e perigosa.

However, everyone talks about the impact it leaves on you while you’re a direct victim of this abuser; the impact it leaves while you’re still involved with him.

Sadly, these consequences don’t end with the end of your toxic relationship. In fact, this experience traumatizes you for life and here is exactly how. 

Assassinato espiritual

A narcissist is not always physically violent. It doesn’t mean that he will actually punch you or leave bruises on your body but he will certainly abusar de si emocionalmente e mentalmente.

What I’m trying to tell you is that this man won’t kill you in the real sense of that word. Your life won’t end with everything he does to you. However, he might do something even worse; he can make you wish it had. 

After this kind of man is done with you, you feel like you’ve been spiritually murdered and that is one of the worst sensations you’ll ever experience. 

When this kind of man is done with you, you feel dead on the inside. It’s like you’re not living but merely surviving day to day.

What you feel is very similar to depression. You have lost the will to live and you don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

O seu sistema de crenças

Uma relação com um narcisista destrói a sua crença na bondade inerente às pessoas. Põe em causa tudo o que pensávamos saber sobre a vida e o mundo. 

Antes de este homem horrível ter entrado na sua vida, acreditava verdadeiramente que havia algo de bom em toda a gente. 

Mesmo que as pessoas fizessem coisas más, encontrava sempre uma razão para o seu comportamento; tentava compreendê-las e procurava sempre as suas qualidades positivas, mesmo quando elas não estavam à vista.

However, this toxic romance changed all of this. After having experienced this real-life hell, you didn’t only perder a confiança no amorTambém perdeste a fé em toda a humanidade. 

If the man who swore he’d love you forever could do this much harm to you, what can you expect from others?

If someone you wanted to spend your life next to destroyed it, how can you have any hope that others won’t do the same?

Besides, as much as you try, you can’t seem to find anything good in this guy.

Demorou muito tempo a aceitar esta terrível verdade, mas o facto é que, essencialmente, ele é uma pessoa má, sem qualquer empatia ou bondade.

No, he doesn’t hide his good sides; they’re not buried deep inside of him, underneath all the layers he shows to the world.

It’s pretty simple; there is no good in him. So, I guess it is possible that there is no inherent goodness in every human being.  

O impacto negativo nas suas outras relações

When you’ve spent a significant amount of time next to a narcissistic person, he somehow manages to shut you off from the rest of the world.

For a long time, you see him as the only person who matters in your life, the only one whose opinions are important and the only one who knows what’s right from you. 

Consequentemente, todas as suas outras relações sofrem. Este tipo tenta o seu melhor para a afastar de todos os seus entes queridos para a poder manipular com mais facilidade. 

Passado algum tempo, quando finalmente termina a sua relação, estas são as pessoas de quem mais precisa de apoio.

Nevertheless, whether you like to admit it or not, your relationships are now not the same. Also, you don’t trust them unconditionally anymore even though they have never done you any harm. 

You’ve simply changed and you have become extra careful so you can’t relax in front of anyone. 

This is especially true when it comes to any new, potential romances. As much as you try, you can’t seem to expect anything good from new guys who come into your life.

Parte-se do princípio de que todos os homens são iguais e que todas as relações vão acabar da mesma maneira. 

Auto-dúvida

A questão do gaslighting, que é quase sempre uma grande parte do relações narcísicasé que nos faz questionar a nossa sanidade mental.

A outra pessoa esforça-se por fazer com que pareçamos loucos para nos poder controlar melhor.

After you finally escape this abuse, you know that you aren’t crazy. However, you’re just aware of that on a conscious level.

Por outro lado, há sempre uma pequena voz no fundo da nossa cabeça que nos diz que devemos duvidar de nós próprios, que nos diz para questionar cada passo que damos e cada palavra que dizemos. 

This shouldn’t come as a surprise since you were exposed to this voice for years.

You had a man by your side who kept telling you that nothing you ever did was good enough so it’s perfectly normal that this left some marks on you. 

The truth is that all of this sounds harsh. However, trust me when I tell you that you’re in no way damaged beyond repair.

Mesmo que não acredites em mim, acabarás por te curar. A tua alma despedaçada irá reparar-se a si própria e tudo isto ficará para trás.

The only thing you have to do is cut this guy off for good, if you haven’t done that already. Put all of your strength into kicking him out of your life, mind and heart.