6 dicas para te ensinar a ser solteiro depois de uma relação abusiva
Embora sair de uma relação abusiva seja, sem dúvida, uma das coisas mais corajosas que se pode fazer, a verdade é que, infelizmente, os pesadelos não acabam no momento em que se deixa o agressor.
De facto, quando isso acontece, é necessário algum tempo para aprender a continuar a sua vida.
You need a survival guide on how to be single again and this is exactly what you’re about to get!
1. Remember that you’re more than someone’s ex-namorada
O primeiro passo para voltar a ter a sua vida nas suas mãos é olhar-se ao espelho e ver que é suficientemente forte para o fazer sozinha, apesar de tudo o que este homem tentou convencer-lhe.
This might sound like a cliché, but before taking any concrete action, you really have to remind yourself that you’re not put on this earth just to be part of a couple.
You’re much more than someone’s (ex) girlfriend. You’re an individual and a woman who is in charge of her own happiness.
O seu ex esforçou-se muito para a fazer acreditar que nunca conseguiria viver sem ele.
Ele fez isso porque era a melhor maneira de a manipular para que ficasse com ele e nunca tentasse ir embora.
Passado algum tempo, quer queiramos quer não, começámos a acreditar nele.
Well, now it’s time to prove both of you wrong, to show everyone that you’re a complete person on your own and that you don’t need “your other half” (which was clearly not him) to keep on living.
2. Focus on other relationships in your life…
Once you have all of this figured out, it’s time to refocus all the energy you keep giving to this guy to all the other people in your life.
Durante muito tempo, este homem foi o centro do seu mundo e alguém em torno de quem girava cada dia.
This is exactly what he wanted – to isolate you from everyone else so it’s easier for him to brainwash you into thinking that your relationship was perfectly normal and healthy.
Para te prender a ele, fazendo-te perder todas as outras pessoas da tua vida.
However, now, all of a sudden, you have so much time on your hands, and you don’t know what to do with yourself.
Bem, este é o momento perfeito para reavivar algumas das suas velhas amizades e dar mais de si à sua família.
You might be embarrassed to ask the people whom you’ve forgotten all about because of your ex-relationship to accept you once again, but give it a try!
Garanto-lhe que a maior parte deles compreenderá a sua honestidade e ajudá-lo-á a reerguer-se.
3. …and especially on the relationship you have with yourself
No entanto, a relação mais importante em que se deve concentrar é a relação que tem consigo próprio because that’s the most precious one.
It’s time to start taking care of yourself the same way you took care of him and to start believing in yourself the way you believed in him.
Mais importante ainda, este é o momento em que tem de aprender a amar-se a si própria com a mesma intensidade com que o amou.
Time to finally put yourself in the place that you deserve and shower yourself with all the affection and attention you’ve been giving away to this wrong guy.
Está na altura de se mimar e de começar finalmente a tratar-se como a princesa que é.
Trust me, after going through abuse and being convinced that you’re not worthy of your own self-love, this is exactly what your mental and emotional health need in order to recover.
4. Tomar tempo para curar
Another thing you need to do when you’re single after getting out of an abusive relationship is to give yourself enough time to heal.
Instead of repressing your emotions, get in touch with them – this is the only way to deal with them in a healthy way.
If you feel like crying, cry, and if you feel like screaming, scream at the top of your lungs. Don’t worry, nobody will think you’re a lunatic.
After all, you’ve been through some serious trauma and it’s perfectly natural that you can’t get rid of all this pain, resentment, anger, and fear in a blink of an eye.
Just don’t call your ex in these times of despair.
Don’t think that going back to him would ease your pain because, trust me, it would only make things worse.
5. Don’t do anything you’re not ready for
The most important rule about learning to be single again is only to do the things you’re ready for, not those that others expect you to do or that would make your ex jealous.
Isto aplica-se especialmente ao facto de voltar a namorar.
Lembre-se que seguir em frente é muito mais do que saltar para uma nova relação.
There isn’t a deadline by which you have to find someone new.
É perfeitamente normal que tenha problemas profundos de confiança depois de tudo o que viveu.
É perfeitamente normal que precise de tempo para se abrir a um novo homem e estar pronta para o deixar entrar até ao fim.
So, if you don’t feel like dating just yet, don’t do it. If you don’t feel like going on blind dates your friends are trying to set you up on, don’t go.
It’s as simple as that: Do only the things you’re comfortable with doing and don’t let anyone dictate your pace because nobody’s walked a mile in your shoes.
6. But start doing everything you’ve always wanted to do
No entanto, esta é também a altura em que deve tornar realidade todos os seus sonhos mais loucos.
Durante anos, enquanto vítima de abuso, teve de fazer tudo o que podia para fazer o seu ex feliz, sem nunca pensar nos seus próprios desejos.
Ele era o dominador e o que tomava mais decisões.
Nevertheless, now, all of that is a part of the past. Now you’re on your own, and you can do whatever you want, however you want, whenever you want.
Remember that road trip you’ve dreamt of taking for so long, but your ex preferred taking a flight?
That new language you’ve wanted to start learning, but you were afraid you wouldn’t have enough time to see him if you did?
E que tal algumas coisas mais pequenas e mais parvas?
That girl’s TV show you planned on binge-watching, but you two always ended up watching something he liked?
The way you wanted to paint your bedroom walls pink, but he wouldn’t hear of it?
Well, now’s the time to do all of those things and enjoy each one of them! You deserve it!
