10 razões pelas quais os narcisistas atacam as mulheres com ansiedade

Um narcisista raramente se envolve com qualquer pessoa.

In fact, their selection is never random; they’re always looking for the most suited victims for their abuse.

E foi demonstrado que a maioria das vítimas de narcisismo são mulheres que sofrem de ansiedade desordem.

So, there has to be some kind of connection between the two. Let’s look into it.

1. A narcissist never takes responsibility…

Uma das características mais comuns de todos os narcisistas é o facto de nunca se considerarem culpados por nada do que dizem ou fazem.

These are the people who usually have zero conscience and never admit that they’re wrong.

Even when they see their mistake, they never admit it to anyone else – especially not their victims.

Apesar de, no fundo, verem as suas imperfeições, os narcisistas têm a necessidade de se apresentarem como impecáveis.

They’re not like the rest of us mortals.

They don’t make errors, repent for their misdeeds, or apologize when they’ve done you harm.

É claro que tudo isto faz parte da sua tática de manipulação.

Fingir que é demasiado bom para ser verdade no início é uma forma de um narcisista se intrometer na sua pele.

Ultimamente, tem-se safado dos seus pecados, pois nunca os admite e arranja sempre uma desculpa para o seu comportamento tóxico.

2. …while people with anxiety think they’re always to blame

Por outro lado, as pessoas com perturbações de ansiedade atribuem sempre a culpa a si próprias.

E isso é o que mais convém ao narcisista.

É que, mesmo que um narcisista vos diga he’s sorry, somehow he’ll manage to twist the entire situation around and you will never get a genuine apology.

Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he’ll end up convincing his anxious victim that she made him react that way, that he for example cheated because she wasn’t giving him enough attention, or that he insulted (or even hit her) for her own good.

Parece absurdo, eu sei.

However, if you’re anxious and insecure about yourself, something like this is easy to believe.

Além disso, um homem com um distúrbio narcísico fará uma lavagem cerebral em si durante meses e anos.

He’ll blame you for every little thing that happens and for every failure of your relationship until you’re manipulated into seeing things that way too.

3. A narcissist makes their victims feel like they’re not enough…

Let’s get one thing straight: A narcissist’s ego is fragile.

Despite popular opinion, these people don’t think highly of themselves and have an awfully low self-esteem.

No entanto, em vez de trabalharem estas questões, optam por um modelo de comportamento diferente.

They decide to start acting completely the opposite to what they feel and pretending that they’re self-confident in order for others to see them that way as well.

So, when you first meet a man like this, you admire his sense of self-worth without actually knowing what’s hidden underneath the surface.

The problem isn’t in this guy’s cockiness, it is in the way he bases his self-value on humiliating others.

A narcissist constantly compares himself to everyone around him – especially to his victim – and the only way for him to feel good is to be above you.

Consequentemente, este tipo aproveita todas as oportunidades para o deitar abaixo.

Insulta-o, chama-lhe nomes, diminui o seu valor, troça de si. Afirma que os seus amigos, a sua educação ou a sua carreira não servem para nada.

Obriga-nos a compararmo-nos com outras raparigas. E a lista continua.

Ele faz de si o submisso na sua relação.

O sentimento de domínio que ele tem sobre si dá-lhe uma sensação de poder e de autoestima.

4. …while anxious people already have self-doubts

E quem é que achas que é o melhor para este truque de magia? Bem, ninguém mais do que uma rapariga que já está a lutar contra a ansiedade e as inseguranças.

Uma mulher ansiosa é a vítima mais adequada de um abuso de narcisistas porque ela já pensa que não é suficiente.

So, a narcissist has no trouble making her believe that she really isn’t worth anything.

This guy puts all of his efforts into convincing you that you’re not meant to be loved, that you should be lucky that he agreed to be with you, despite the way he’s treating you, and that nobody else would ever look at you.

You’re not pretty or beautiful enough.

You’re stupid, crazy, incapable of doing anything with your life, and you would be a total failure if it weren’t for him – your savior and the only person in this world who could ever love you the way you are.

5. A narcissist uses fear…

Outra técnica que todos os narcisistas utilizam para controlar as suas vítimas e mantê-las ao seu lado é o medo.

When you hear this, you probably assume that this man threatens to kill you or beat you up, but there is much more to fear than physical threats, even though they’re also usually included in narcissistic abuse.

He might emotionally blackmail you and tell you that he’ll do something to himself if you leave him.

Or he threatens to expose all of your secrets to your closest ones or publish your private videos and photos – the possibilities are endless.

He promises that he’ll destroy you if you walk away on him or that he’ll haunt you for as long as you’re alive.

Seja como for, o resultado final é o mesmo.

This man doesn’t keep you physically locked up next to him, but he definitely does keep you hostage in another way.

6. …while anxiety disorder makes you afraid

Naturalmente, uma pessoa com ansiedade é o alvo perfeito para este tipo de comportamento.

Afinal de contas, a sua perturbação de ansiedade faz com que tenha medo por si só.

You’re an overthinker and pessimist who always expects the worst case scenario.

So, how could you assume that this man’s threats are in vain?

How could you see that he is actually nothing but a coward who wouldn’t have the guts to do anything about it?

Most importantly, how could you deal with this new fear, when you’re already struggling with the ones you already have?

Como é que se pode olhar para ele diretamente nos olhos e acabar por afugentá-lo?

You can’t, right? Well, sadly, your narcissistic boyfriend knows that and uses it to his advantage.

7. A narcissist gaslights their victims…

Todos os narcisistas têm o hábito de usar uma tática tóxica chamada gaslighting.

Mentem, contam meias-verdades e fazem tudo o que podem para alterar o curso dos acontecimentos na sua cabeça.

They’re playing with your mind, trying to make you feel like you’re the crazy one.

Every time you two argue about something, a narcissist claims that you didn’t hear things right, that you misinterpreted them, or that you made a big deal out of nothing.

Nos casos mais extremos, um narcisista tentará convencê-lo de que algumas coisas do seu passado nunca aconteceram.

It is all in your head and you’re imagining things just to accuse him of being a bad guy.

Basically, they want to brainwash you to the point where you’ll believe them over your own brain and where you’ll start doubting your own sanity.

8. …who don’t trust their own judgments

On the other hand, when you’re dealing with an anxiety disorder, it won’t take you long before you start believing him, since you already question your judgment-making skills.

A sua memória está correcta ou este homem está a dizer a verdade?

A sua mente está a pregar-lhe partidas?

Está a ver as coisas piores do que são na realidade devido ao seu pessimismo e inseguranças?

Bem, a resposta é não.

You’ve everything but crazy and you have a more vivid remembrance of the past because of the pain it caused you.

9. A narcissist makes their victim emotionally dependent…

Todos os narcisistas precisam de ser necessários porque isso lhes dá um sentido de valor.

E para o conseguir, faz com que as suas vítimas se tornem emocionalmente dependente sobre ele.

No início, ele finge ser o melhor homem que já conheceu.

Ele dá-te toda a sua alma e coração, faz-te favores e ajuda-te sempre que pode.

Claro que, passado algum tempo, começamos a confiar nele.

You count on the fact that this man isn’t going anywhere and you’re more than happy for finally finding someone to share your life difficulties with.

Mas no momento em que reconhece isso, um narcisista desiste.

However, he doesn’t leave you hanging for good. He just wants you to see how emotionally dependent you’ve actually become on him.

So, he manages to convince you that you can’t make it without him.

E ele faz com que o seu maior pesadelo seja o medo de o perder.

10. …while anxious people are scared of abandonment

If you’re an anxious person, you’re constantly obsessed with the thought that everyone you love will walk away on you sooner or later.

You’ll do something to chase them away, they’ll get tired of your demanding personality, or they’ll just stop loving you.

Bem, estes questões de abandono you’re dealing with is exactly what this guy uses against you.

He knows you’re terrified of the mere thought of him leaving you on your own, and he is always keeping your traumas alive.