4 tácticas destrutivas de separação usadas pelos narcisistas abusivos

Separação is always heavy stuff. Even when the guy you’re breaking things off with is the most normal dude you’ve ever dated, it still sucks big time.

You’re ending a big chunk of a sua vida, and especially if you’re the one being dumped, it can be hard to come to terms with it.

Tal como qualquer outra grande mudança na nossa vida, é preciso habituarmo-nos a ela.

Mas quando o tipo que acaba a relação é um narcisista abusivo, as coisas são mais confusas e destrutivas.

Um narcisista nunca facilita nada. É ele que precisa de ter todo o controlo, por isso, aconteça o que acontecer, vai acabar por ser o destinatário das suas intenções cruéis.

As I’ve mentioned above, narcissists can’t cope with not being in control.

E no momento em que sentirem que estão a perder a mínima vantagem sobre si, recorrerão a medidas drásticas.

If he senses that you’re trying para acabar com as coisas or that you’ve started defying him, he’s going to make sure to be the one to end it first.

E não de uma forma amigável. Vai ser de acordo com os seus planos desonestos e vai picar a AF.

Se sentir que o seu narcisista se está a preparar para o deixar, prepare-se para qualquer um dos seguintes 4 cenários.

These are his most common choices of letting you know he’s done with you. Consider yourself warned!

1. Ele já tem um interesse romântico de reserva e vai deixá-la abruptamente, sem qualquer explicação

Quando um narcisista tem a certeza de que vai acabar tudo consigo, certifica-se de que já tem outro companheiro de cama.

Ele tem de ter sempre opções para o caso de as coisas correrem mal. E, neste caso, não terá qualquer aviso nem explicações.

O seu humor tornar-se-á subitamente imprevisível, ficará muito irritável e terá uma atitude desagradável para consigo.

Remember, narcissists don’t possess the ability to feel shame and regret, so it really won’t make a difference to him if you cause a scene.

He will leave you with no apologies and he will make sure you know that he’s already got another chick to fill in for you.

E esse vai ser o fim do seu narcisista e de si. Vai acabar tão abruptamente como começou.

2. Ele vai fazer de ti o mau da fita, abusando de ti verbalmente e pondo-te as culpas todas em cima

His plan is going to be so devious and sneaky that you won’t know what hit you. Firstly, he’s going to cause minor inconveniences to make you appear really shitty.

He is going to make sure to let you know just how bad he thinks you are and he won’t mince his words.

Then, he’s going to push your buttons by doing stuff he knows you don’t like and that way, he’s going to make you go at least a little bit mad and he will use it against you.

Ele vai fazer com que pareça louca, instável e uma má namorada e vai fingir que é um pobre coitado que caiu na sua teia de mentiras e enganos.

You won’t even understand how he’s doing it and he’ll already be gone, having achieved his goal.

You’ll be feeling like you did something wrong but all that really happened was he manipulated the shit out of you and left with his head held high.

Tal como ele sempre planeou.

3. Ele vai dar e recusar o seu afeto ao ponto de a afastar

As suas emoções (as que ele finge ter) estarão por todo o lado.

One day he will adore you and shower you with love and the next day he’ll be mad about the crumbs you left on the kitchen floor.

You won’t know what to do about it, as his behavior is going to drastically escalate and the smallest things will push him over the edge.

And that’s exactly what he wants you to think. He is going to make you do all the work for him by appearing like a raging lunatic and making you end things as if it was all your idea.

This is going to be an extremely toxic atmosphere and you won’t be able to handle it for long.

While he thrives in it, you’ll simply have to put an end to it and there you go.

Just like that, it’s over and he didn’t have to pull the trigger. You did it for him.

4. Ele vai usar o sexo como uma arma para a desmoralizar

O sexo vai tornar-se uma arma poderosa no seu arsenal. Ele vai usá-la contra si de todas as formas que puder.

E se tiver uma boa vida sexual, it’s going to be especially difficult.

He will deny you sex when he sees you really want it. And when he notices you’re too tired to function, he’ll ask you if you’re in the mood (knowing that you’re NOT).

He is going to make you beg him to have sex with you, which is something you never thought you’d do.

Mas o comportamento dele não te deixará outra alternativa. Ele pode ser um desperdício tóxico de ar, mas pode dar-te na cama.

And damn it, you want it one last time. And that’s how he’s going to get you. Your ego is going to suffer a big blow every time he says, “No,” and he will enjoy every second of it.

And once he’s done having his fun, he’ll end it with you, leaving you struggling to cope with the aftermath of his actions. And it will suck. Profoundly.