Se te esforçasses tanto como inventas desculpas, talvez pudéssemos ter conseguido

Passei tanto tempo a desculpar-me por ti, a perdoar-te os teus erros, dar-vos uma segunda oportunidade and hoping that one day we’ll come to the same page. I hoped that one day you’ll see how hard I was trying for us and that you’ll try to match my efforts.

De alguma forma, convenci-me de que me amas verdadeiramente e que, no fundo, queres mesmo estar comigo. Disse a mim mesma que só precisava de te dar tempo para nos entendermos e que as coisas acabariam por se resolver.

Amei-te com todo o meu corpo e a minha alma. Amei-te tanto como uma mulher pode amar um homem. E nunca quis tirar-te nada que

I didn’t deserve or that I wasn’t ready to give you myself. I just wanted you to love me as honestly as I loved you. And I wanted to see you trying. But, obviously, I wanted too much.

Havia sempre algo de errado consigo. Havia sempre algo que te impedia de fazer as coisas que uma pessoa normal faria sem sequer pensar duas vezes.

Havia sempre uma razão para ter de cancelar os nossos planos à última da hora. There was always a reason why you couldn’t pick up the phone or a perfect explanation of why it took you hours to text me back.

Havia sempre algo mais importante do que estar lá para mim quando eu mais precisava de ti. Havia sempre uma desculpa ou uma razão ou algo que surgiu à última hora.

It took me a while to see that you really had a perfect reason to not show up when you supposed to—you just didn’t care enough.

Continuei a agarrar-me, sempre demasiado cego e ingénuo para ver as coisas que me mostravas.

A tua boca dizia-me uma coisa, mas a forma como te comportavas dizia-me algo completamente oposto. E eu estava confuso.

My heart was telling me one thing and my mind something completely opposite. I should’ve known that a person’s effort sometimes matters more than love does.

It was always easier for you to come up with excuses than it was for you to try. And I was so easily convinced. I kept saying that it doesn’t matter and how it’s not that big of a deal…how something must’ve stopped you in your intention to be there for me.

Continuei a fazer isto até que finalmente percebi que não há nada neste mundo que possa impedir-te de estares lá para mim se realmente te importares.

I always wore my heart on my sleeve and I never loved just so I’d be loved back. I always gave my best and always had my purest intentions.

Mas sabes, só podes dar a alguém um pouco de tudo. Há uma linha até à qual se pode continuar a dar sem receber nada em troca. Quando se ultrapassa essa linha, quebra-se.

When people ask me how is it possible we didn’t make it when I loved you so much and when I tried so hard, I just remember how in love, it’s impossible to make things work if there is only one person trying.

It’s doomed to end up sadly when there is one person bending over backwards to make things work and another one is just coming up with excuses. Love (if that was what you felt) doesn’t survive without effort.

Actually, I almost gave up on myself so I’d make us work. I almost demolished all my values and all my beliefs to get your love.

I almost deleted everything off of my priority list and decided to focus only on you. But then I realized I’d just lose myself in my effort to make you love me.

I didn’t do it. I didn’t choose you to be the only important thing in my life because I realized I’m not half as important to you as you are to me.

Apercebi-me de que era o único que estava realmente a tentar. A dada altura, perguntei-me o que aconteceria se deixasse de tentar. E tive a minha resposta.

Quando eu recuei, you didn’t fight back. You didn’t reach out to me. You didn’t try to stop me. You didn’t decide it’s time to actually make an effort. You let me go. And it seemed to be the easiest thing you did.

If it was meant to be, it would be—wasn’t this your ultimate excuse?

If you had tried perhaps we would’ve made it. If you had put in as much effort as you made excuses, maybe it would be.

But you didn’t. So don’t blame it on destiny or anything else. For once, be a man and say how it was your fault.

Querida, esta é por tua conta.

I know that I have no sins here other than staying longer than I should have and fighting for someone who never made an actual effort for me. I tried, you didn’t.

So, I’m done. I’m finally done.