At first, I doubted whether my ex-wife had regrets about our divorce, but now I’m completely sure she does.
I realized these clear signs my separated wife wants to reconcile, and I’m going to share them with you. Maybe they’ll help you with your own dilemma about your ex.
It goes without saying that our divorce didn’t happen overnight, without any good reasons.
We had problems that we couldn’t overcome, and we simply couldn’t work things out, so we both concluded that divorce was our only option.
It really was for the best. We hurt each other deeply and things were getting worse and worse every day.
If we did stay together, we knew we would eventually become enemies.
For the sake of the love we once felt for each other, all the beautiful memories we made together and the years we spent together, we ultimately decided to split in peace.
I don’t think we actually stopped loving each other, it’s just that our marriage had hit a rough patch that we weren’t able to find a way out of.
We tried marriage counseling and different therapies for married couples, and we got so much marriage advice from different experts. But despite all the effort we put into salvaging our marriage, it was unfortunately beyond saving.
Most people say that you should try anything and everything to save your marriage, and think long and hard about divorce prior to actually doing it, before you pass the point of no return.
To make a marriage work and keep it healthy, the most important thing is to stick together through thick and thin and be there for each other no matter what.
Unfortunately, we couldn’t do this, and that’s why we separated in the end.
Clear signs my separated wife wants to reconcile
To be honest, I never thought about reconciling or getting my wife back because I’d accepted the divorce and made peace with it.
The first time I started noticing some small signs my separated wife wants to reconcile is when I myself began thinking about getting back together with her.
Honestly, I was terrified. I was so confused and overwhelmed by so many mixed feelings. I didn’t know what to do; should I confront her or let her admit it herself?
Below are some clear signs your wife wants to reconcile. If you have a similar problem or are having doubts about whether your ex-wife actually wants to get back together, you should definitely check these signs out.
She’s being too nice to me
I know it’s not that shocking when someone behaves nicely toward you, but after the way things ended between us, it was so strange, especially because I expected her to act in a completely different way.
The divorce process was really messy, and some harsh words were said, so it was weird when she began behaving as if nothing had happened and was so nice and polite to me.
I wasn’t an abusive, absent, or cheating husband. I don’t think I ever gave her a reason to hate me or treat me badly, but her behavior was still a little confusing.
I can honestly say that she wasn’t this nice to me even when we were still married.
She wants to keep in touch
Divorce is always a terribly difficult process for both parties, but divorcing someone you still have some feelings for is even worse.
She wanted to stay friends with me, and that’s definitely a good sign my separated wife wants to reconcile. However, as I’m her ex-husband, I’m not sure that our friendship will be successful.
She added me on all my social media accounts, and is always reaching out to me first. In fact, she initiates communication all the time. I can tell that she’s really interested in my well-being.
She flirts and is trying to seduce me again
I noticed that she’s constantly flirting with me. Even when we’re just messaging on social media. It feels exactly like when we first met each other.
Whenever we’re both invited to the same gathering, she wears something I told her she looks good in while we were married, and she’s always the one who initiates first contact.
She plays with her hair or bites her lip every time we talk. Also, she “accidentally” touches me while I’m talking and smiles very sweetly at me.
She laughs at all my jokes, even the ones I know aren’t funny at all! If I didn’t know any better I’d say it’s definitely very suspicious, even flirtatious, behavior.
She’s interested in my dating life
After I came to terms with our separation, I really tried hard to put her out of my mind. I don’t ask about her life, or even talk about her at all.
On the other hand, our common friends tell me that she’s always asking questions about me and my love life.
She even asked me if I wanted to meet someone new a few times, but I thought she was only making small talk, and brought this up because she didn’t know what else to talk about.
She makes it clear that she’s single
Even though I never ask her about her love life, she always makes it clear to me that she isn’t seeing anyone new.
We have quite a few mutual friends, and sometimes we find ourselves hanging out together.
I noticed that she talks to our friends about the guys that are trying to impress her, and she’s so loud that I get the feeling that she wants to make sure I hear what she’s saying.
She constantly brings up the past
She is always talking about our treasured memories. One time I even caught her talking about us as if we were still married.
Our friends went on their honeymoon, and when she spoke about ours, she started by saying: “When my husband and I…”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Maybe she did it unconsciously, but still, it was an awkward moment.
She also sends me photos of us together while we’re texting, saying things like: “Look, how happy we were there…” or “We were such a great couple, right?” I’m left speechless in these moments.
I just don’t know if I should put my foot down before it’s too late, or if I should give us another chance.
The problem is that she only brings up the good memories of when we were married. It’s like she has forgotten all the bad moments that led us to divorce in the first place.
She admits her past mistakes
I still remember the day we made the final decision to separate and I moved out of our apartment. While I was standing at the front door ready to leave, she told me that I’m the one to blame for our divorce.
She also told me that all the love she once had for me had turned into hate. Some very hurtful words were said that day.
She never knew how to admit that she made a mistake and ask for forgiveness, but now she’s like a completely different person.
She admitted she also made some mistakes in our marriage, and asked me to forgive her. It’s almost as if our separation has completely changed her.
I keep bumping into her
The first few times this happened, I really thought it was by chance, because we have the same circle of friends.
But now, I’m convinced that our meetings are no coincidence because they’ve become a little too frequent.
It’s normal if I bump into her at some social gathering that we’re both invited to. It just became a little too suspicious when she started showing up in the park I jog in and at the restaurant she knows I go to every day for brunch.
I still get drunk phone calls and texts
At first, her drunk texts and phone calls were normal to me because I thought she was still angry and I knew it was a habit of hers.
But, she still texts me every time she gets drunk, and the worst thing is that she acts as if nothing happened once she sobers up.
People say that alcohol is a truth serum and that there’s always truth in a drunk person’s words. She has also admitted several times that she still thinks about me and us when she’s drunk.
To be honest, I still don’t know what to make of it. Sometimes I think that it’s the only way she has the courage to admit her feelings.
Other times I think it’s all nonsense, and that she only does it because she’s feeling lonely and still hasn’t met anyone new.
She pretends she needs my help just to see me
In the beginning, she called me to fix a few things in the apartment we used to share, and it wasn’t suspicious at all because we agreed to try to be friends – and friends help each other, right?
But, she keeps calling me for help, even for little things I’m sure she could do on her own.
The most suspicious thing is that she always invites me to stay for lunch, dinner, or a coffee. She’s always joking around, saying: “What does my husband want to eat?” and things like that.
Even though I’m still not quite sure about whether I want to reconcile or not, I accept her invitation and we always end up having a deep and meaningful conversation.
Related: 8 Examples Of The Average Length Of Separation Before Reconciliation
Initiating physical contact a little too often
At first I thought she was doing it out of habit, but now I’m almost completely sure it’s on purpose. I really think it’s a clear sign she wants to get back together.
She tends to touch my arms or my shoulder while we’re talking. If we’re sitting down, she always touches my legs with hers and then smiles at me. I don’t think I’m misinterpreting these signs because they happen so often.
She was always a little bit shy and had a fragile self-esteem. I know it’s very hard for her to show her feelings or ask me directly to give our relationship another chance.
I think that’s why she’s trying to show it to me in these other, more subtle ways.
She suddenly wants to hang out with my friends
While we were married, she couldn’t stand most of my friends, and she never wanted to go out with us even though I always invited her to our gatherings.
Now she hangs out with them all of a sudden. It’s strange for them, too, because most of them know she didn’t like them.
She has even admitted to me that she was wrong about them, and that she realized they’re all good, interesting people.
It even bothers me a little, because I can’t understand what she wants to achieve by doing this. They told me she talks about me and our marriage a lot, and that they all think she wants to get back together with me.
She’s trying to make me jealous
We spent many years together, so she knows exactly how to make me jealous.
She tries to make me jealous every time we go out with our friends. I think she’s doing it because she wants to find out if I still love her.
She will start flirting with some random guy, but as soon as she realizes I don’t mind, she rejects him.
And you can tell by the look on her face that she’s disappointed, and even a little bit angry, because her plan has failed.
I try to act cool, but sometimes it really pisses me off. It’s made me realize that I’m still not ready to see her with another guy.
However, most of the time I think it’s actually quite sweet. After she finishes with her “fake flirting,” I start messing with her about how she’s just got rejected by some guy, and her cheeks instantly flush red. It’s so cute.
She’s jealous every time another woman goes near me
Some people say healthy jealousy is a sign of true love. Well, in my case, this must mean that my ex-wife is still very much in love with me!
Every time I start talking about my female co-workers or friends, I can see she gets annoyed.
We still have some mutual friends and sometimes we go out together.
If another woman approaches me, my ex-wife starts acting cold and distant, and when we get back home, she texts me and starts drilling me about them.
Also, every time I post a photo with a woman she doesn’t know, she starts questioning our friends about her. Even though I never ask her or our friends about her love life, she’s obviously still interested in mine.
She starts acting differently when she’s around me
I noticed this myself, but some of our common friends have also said that she starts behaving like a completely different person every time I’m around.
It’s probably because she hasn’t managed to move on with her own life since our separation in the way she hoped she would.
I think she has some regrets now. I really think that she has had enough time to think about everything, and realizes that our divorce was a mistake.
She acts like when we first met and were falling in love. She has that silly, childish smile and gets flustered a lot while we’re talking.
I really feel like she is a new woman, a different woman who has fallen madly in love with me and doesn’t know how to behave when she’s around me.
Our friends have even told me that every time someone mentions me or our marriage, she smiles immediately and gets a nostalgic look on her face.
I could be wrong about this, but her behavior is definitely odd. She’s like a teenager who has a crush on someone, but doesn’t know how to express it to them.
She actually admits she still loves me
Once while we were at the birthday party of a mutual friend, she got a little drunk and couldn’t look me in the eye.
It was so awkward, she was avoiding me all night and I was worried that I’d done something wrong. I really felt the urge to confront her and find out what was going on.
When I did, she tried to run away from me, but I took her hand and asked her why she couldn’t talk to me or even meet my gaze.
She said that it had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her. I was even more confused and asked her to explain it to me.
My ex was about to make her drunken confession. She told me that the reason she can’t look me in the eye is that she had made a big mistake. I was even more confused than before!
I’m going to quote her exact sentence because it will be deeply etched into my memory forever: “Why did I ever leave you? I’ll never find a better man and I’ll never stop loving you.”
I was dumbstruck, but we never mentioned the conversation again and I’m actually not sure whether she even remembers it.
See also: 10 Common Marriage Reconciliation Mistakes To Avoid After Infidelity
It wasn’t long ago that I doubted whether my ex-wife still had strong feelings for me.
Now, I’m noticing several signs my separated wife wants to reconcile, and I’m becoming more and more sure that she regrets our divorce and wants to get back together.
I’m still not sure how I feel about the thought of reconciliation after separation.
I don’t know whether we would just continue to hurt each other, or if things could be different the second time around.
Can the past really be put behind us? Can all the insults and awful things we said to each other ever be forgotten? Will we be able to pick up where we left off, or will we have to start from scratch?
All these confusing questions constantly run through my mind. Believe me, I’m not thinking about a new relationship. There is no new woman. I’m just not sure whether we’ll be able to work things after all this time.
I know there are many other men currently going through the same thing. I just wanted to share this because sharing your struggles with others can help you to get the relief you want so badly.
I genuinely hope this relationship advice will be helpful to you, too. Of course, the decision to get your ex back, and remarriage, is completely up to you.
The most important thing is to be honest with yourself about what you really want, and whether you still love your ex-wife.
The reconciliation process may be difficult and exhausting, but if two people still genuinely love each other, I think they can be happy together again.
But please, don’t ask me what the right decision would be. The only person who knows the answer to that question is you. I’m also still trying to gather my own thoughts and make the right decision.
I can only advise you to listen to your heart. Listen to your deepest innermost voice, because that’s the only way you’ll be truly happy.