15 sinais de que um autista gosta de si (+dicas para sair com ele)
Descobrir se um homem gosta de si ou não já é bastante difícil, mas detetar os sinais de que um homem autista gosta de si pode parecer uma missão impossível.
Pessoas no espetro do autismo are quite unique and often don’t behave the same as neurotípico pessoas. Isto é especialmente verdade quando se trata de sinais sociais, linguagem corporal, expressões faciaise outros maneirismos.
With all this in mind, it’s no wonder that you’re having a hard time getting to the bottom of an autistic man’s intentions. Luckily, I’m here to help you out.
15 sinais de que um autista gosta de ti
If a man with autism spectrum disorder behaves like this, one thing is for sure, he’s crazy about you:
1. He’ll become extra nervous
When you like someone, and you’re not sure whether eles também gostam de siSe o seu filho não se sentir bem, fica corado ou as suas mãos começam a tremer. Isso é perfeitamente normal para toda a gente. No entanto, este sentimento de nervosismo intensifica-se nas pessoas autistas (e nas pessoas com ADHD e Aspergers).
Não esquecer que lhes falta competências sociais, o que significa que namorar pessoas is not something they’re necessarily good at. Therefore, for this guy, being around his crush means stepping out of his comfort zone.
If you observe this man carefully, you’ll see that he gets extra nervous the moment you walk into the room. He gets all sweaty, has no clue what to do with his hands, and becomes tongue-tied.
O aspeto mais importante a ter em atenção é a estimulação e os movimentos repetitivos. Pode estar a bater, a balançar os braços ou as pernas, ou a mexer a cabeça para trás e para a frente.
2. Evitar o contacto visual
Let’s make one thing clear: not all people who display signs of autism have the same autistic traits. After all, autism is a spectrum, and it can be displayed in different ways.
It’s quite possible your autistic guy will avoid looking at you at all costs, despite having a huge crush on you. You try to maintain eye contact and give him a hint that you’re into him. However, every time you do that, he looks away in panic.
Naturally, you think that you’re doing something wrong. It’s not that he’s just not that into you – that he can’t stand looking at you – and that’s how much he doesn’t like you.
Well, I’m here to brighten your day and tell you that this doesn’t have to be anywhere near the truth. On the contrary, he is probably only panicking because he likes you so much. Merely looking at you triggers his anxiety, and that’s why he evita o contacto visual convosco.
3. …or he will awkwardly stare at you
Por outro lado, pode estar a lidar com um tipo autista que apenas olha para si de forma estranha e usa contacto visual prolongado all the time. No, he doesn’t check you out the way neurotypicals usually do.
He doesn’t say a single word, look at your lips, or smile. Whenever you run into him, he just stares at you as if he were surprised to see you.
If this is the case, it’s one of the clearest signs of his feelings for you. This man is so crazy about you that he becomes absolutely lost when you’re around.
O seu cérebro congela literalmente. Ele gostaria de lhe dizer algo, mas as palavras não saem da sua boca. E, sem mais nem menos, a oportunidade desaparece. Até à próxima vez que ele o vir e, mais uma vez, ficar a olhar para si.
4. He’ll ask for your opinion
Se um autista o vê como parceiro de uma relação romântica, isso significa que his attraction to you is much more than purely physical. Don’t get me wrong, he’s attracted to your looks, but there is something deeper in his emotions.
He appreciates your intellect, attitude, and opinions and thinks of you as wise and intelligent in general. That is why he’ll frequently ask for your advice: because he values your thought process.
In the beginning, this could be a piece of advice on the most random and seemingly unimportant thing. But trust me, they’re important to him. This way, he’s assessing you and trying to figure out if you can be trusted.
Once he starts listening to your advice, you’re in his heart forever. Believe me when I tell you that this is a privilege not many people get.
5. He’ll offer you his help
The best part is that this guy is anything but selfish. Yes, he’ll ask for your advice or help, but at the same time, he’ll offer you his genuine support whenever you need it.
Before he actually helps you, he’ll probably ask if you need a hand. Typically, you’ll respond that you’re okay doing it yourself – not because you don’t need help but because you think it’s polite and because you don’t want to bother anyone else.
However, things don’t work that way with people who possess autistic traits. Tem de ser antecipado with him and admit that you need help. Otherwise, he’ll beat himself up for even asking.
But I have to warn you not to take advantage of his kindness. Just because he offers to give you a lift, help you move, or do another act of service doesn’t mean that you should use him as a personal assistant.
If you don’t like him back, just thank him for his kind offer and carry on with your day!
6. He’s overprotective of you
This guy is hypersensitive – you just fail to see it. If he likes you, he wants you to be happy all the time. He can’t stand the idea of something bad happening to you, and he is ready to protect you at all costs.
Yes, the truth is that, sometimes, he might even become overprotective. But trust me, he is behaving like this because he loves you. Congratulations, you’ve desencadeou o seu instinto de herói.
Está pronto a lutar com qualquer pessoa que olhe para si da forma errada, quanto mais com qualquer outra coisa. Isto inclui os seus amigos e as pessoas de quem gosta também.
7. Espelhar a sua linguagem corporal
As pessoas do espetro autista têm dificuldade em expressar as suas emoções e pensamentos através de linguagem corporal. Preferem sempre uma comunicação direta em vez de sinais não verbais.
Basicamente, o seu homem está bastante consciente disto. Ele está ansioso que as outras pessoas, especialmente você, considerem o seu linguagem corporal estranho e inapropriado.
No final do dia, ele não faz ideia do que se espera dele. O que é que ele deve fazer com as mãos e as pernas? Deve rir-se? Foi um comentário sarcástico ou alguém tentou mesmo ofendê-lo? Deve corar quando recebe um elogio? É correto tocar no cabelo tantas vezes?
All of these things come naturally to you, and you don’t even give them a second thought. However, he has to think before making the smallest gesture.
So, in order not to chase you away with his “weirdness,” he decides to mirror your body language. Keep in mind that this is something neurotypical people do as well when they’re into someone.
But autistic people do it in a more obvious way. If you laugh, he’ll laugh. If you frown, he’ll frown, and so on.
8. Presta atenção às pequenas coisas
Uma das características comuns das pessoas com autismo é o facto de prestarem atenção aos pormenores. O seu filho autista vai reparar em tudo o que o rodeia e nas pessoas que o rodeiam. Se ele age assim em relação a pessoas por quem não tem sentimentos, imagine o quão atento ele é quando o objeto da sua afeição está em questão.
Este é um homem que nunca se esquece do seu aniversário, que repara quando corta o cabelo e que sabe exatamente que tipo de perfume usa em cada ocasião social. Nunca lhe falaste da tua banda ou dos teus actores preferidos, mas ele viu-os na redes sociais e recordado.
No, he’s not some kind of stalker. He just wants to know more about your special interests. After all, isn’t this the way every guy who courts a girl should behave?
At first, you’ll probably be shocked by the amount of information he has on you. But if you’re smart, you’ll see it as the biggest compliment a woman can get.
9. He’s a great listener
If you ask his friends their favorite thing about this guy, they’ll all tell you that he is an amazing listener. And that really is the truth.
He is always there for others to offer them a shoulder to cry on, to give them advice, or just to hear them out. So you can only imagine how much he listens to you – the woman he is crazy about.
This man is anything but self-centered. He won’t have trouble talking about himself if asked and if he sees that you genuinely care.
In the meantime, he’ll only listen to what you have to say. Don’t worry, he doesn’t find you boring. On the contrary, he enjoys getting the chance to find out more about you.
It doesn’t matter if you’re having friend problems, if something is going on with your family, or if you’re just worried about work. It’s enough for you to call him, and he’ll be right there to hear you out. I’m only begging you not to talk about your boyfriend problems with this amazing guy because that would break his heart.
10. Ele sai da sua zona de conforto
Social events and social interactions, in general, are this guy’s biggest nightmare. He doesn’t see the point in small talk or hanging out with his coworkers during lunch break.
However, all of this changes when it comes to you. Let’s say that you two work together. Your company has an upcoming teambuilding exercise in a few days. I can assure you that he didn’t even think of attending before finding out that you would be there.
Foi nessa altura que tudo mudou. De repente, ele está pronto para enfrentar a sua ansiedade social e envolver-se em interacções sociais só para poder estar perto de si.
The same goes for clubbing or doing other things he’s not comfortable with. This man is literally sacrificing his inner peace to spend time with you. He’s pushing himself out of his comfort zone, and trust me, he would never do something like that if he weren’t really into you.
11. Ele gosta de passar tempo consigo
One of the biggest signs an autistic guy likes you lies in the fact that he adores spending time with you. You mustn’t forget that we’re talking about people who cherish their alone time over everything else. Usually, he enjoys being in his inner world, alone with his thoughts, and is quite a loner.
No entanto, tudo isso mudou quando tu entraste em cena. De repente, passaste a ser a sua pessoa preferida e ele percebeu que preferia estar contigo do que estar sozinho.
It doesn’t really matter what you two are doing as long as you’re together. For him, it’s enough just to sit with you in silence, peacefully, and he’ll be the happiest guy in the world. Your presence is what matters!
12. He texts you… A LOT
Okay, I’ll be honest with you: people with perturbação do espetro do autismo are terrible texters. No, your guy is not bad at texting in the sense of being a dry texter. On the contrary, he doesn’t know when to stop.
Um dos primeiros sinais de que um o homem está interessado em si são as mensagens de texto que continua a receber. Um homem neurotípico vai enviar-lhe um monte de mensagens de texto durante o dia, simplesmente porque tem uma vontade incontrolável de entrar em contacto consigo.
No entanto, Um tipo autista vai fazer de tudo para enviar mensagens. Sentirá a necessidade de partilhar todos os pormenores do seu dia consigo, enviar-lhe memes engraçados e falar-lhe de todos os assuntos aleatórios de que se possa lembrar.
He won’t take the hint. Even if you don’t respond, he’ll keep on texting you.
Mas mesmo que ele a aborreça, tente ver as coisas de um ângulo diferente. Esta é a forma de ele te mostrar o quanto és importante para ele e o quanto ele gosta de si.
13. Ele deixa-o entrar
Um dos sinais mais fortes de que um autista gosta de si é o facto de lhe dar acesso ao seu pequeno mundo. Indisponibilidade emocional e a distância são características comuns das pessoas com uma perturbação do espetro do autismo.
Por conseguinte, este homem tem normalmente muita dificuldade em abrir-se genuinamente com alguém. Tem um pequeno círculo de amigos com quem passa tempo e com quem fala. No que diz respeito a todos os outros, constrói paredes grossas e altas à sua volta para que ninguém possa entrar no seu coração ou na sua mente.
Mas de alguma forma, you managed to break in. He shares everything with you and doesn’t hesitate to answer your questões profundas. Ele fala-lhe dos seus traumas, medos, sonhos e aspirações e dá-lhe acesso total à sua vida privada.
Se for esse o caso, deve sentir-se muito especial.
14. Ele convida-a diretamente para um encontro
We’ve already established one thing: people with autism are bad with social cues, and they’re not pros at dating people. Your guy is perfectly aware of that.
Por isso, em vez de vos torturar aos dois, he might directly ask you out on a date. And he’ll put a label on it right away – he wants to take you out on a primeiro encontro que pode ser o início de um potencial relação romântica.
He won’t try masking it and asking you to hang out with his friends or suggest a casual get-together. You’ll know it’s a date from the very first moment.
At first, you might find this unusual, especially if you didn’t see the signs an autistic guy likes you. However, if you think about it, it’s actually the best way to start something new.
15. Ele diz-te que gosta de ti
Se o seu amigo autista ou o colega de trabalho gosta de si, don’t be surprised if they just approach you and tell you how they feel. Yes, it will be out of the blue because they never showed any hints of attraction toward you. But that’s simply how most autistic people work.
Instead of laughing it off, appreciate his courage. I mean, most neurotypical guys wouldn’t have the courage to talk to you upfront while wearing their hearts on their sleeves.
So, if you like him back (and I suppose you do – otherwise, you wouldn’t be here), don’t play hard to get. This will probably be your first impulse because you don’t want him to think of you as desperate.
Nevertheless, if you hesitate, you’ll chase him away. Just accept his invitation as openly as he gave it to you.
Como é que os homens autistas demonstram amor?
Uma coisa é certa: pessoas no espetro autista mostrar o amor de uma forma bastante invulgar. O sinal mais forte do seu amor é deixar-te entrar no seu espaço pessoal.
People with ASD have strong boundaries, and if they don’t consider you extremely important, they’ll never give you a free pass into their inner world. On the other hand, if an autistic guy loves you, he’ll want to share all of his interests with you, even the ones he considers awkward.
Maybe he won’t outright say, “Eu amo-te,” but he’ll definitely perform some acts of service because this is their linguagem do amor. Isto inclui frequentemente pequenos favores, como arrumar o seu quarto, deitar fora o lixo, servir-lhe uma bebida ou cozinhar a sua comida preferida.
Como fazer com que um homem autista goste de si?
The biggest problem with getting an aspie to like you is that they’re terrible at taking hints. This guy is not likely to read your non-verbal clues and realize you’re into him.
É por isso que deve ser o mais direta possível quando se trata dele. Seja direta e diga-lhe que gosta dele de uma forma romântica. Diga-lhe que espera tornar-se namorada dele.
Quando se faz o primeiro passo (ou pelo menos fazer algo para ajudá-lo a dar o primeiro passo), he’ll start seeing you as a potential romantic interest. Until then, he’ll probably never think of you in that way.
Another way to get him to like you is to show interest in the things he’s interested in. However, you have to be extra careful while doing this because he might see it as an invasion of his personal space. That is why you have to find the perfect balance between showing him that you want to enter his world while respecting his boundaries.
Como é que as pessoas autistas namoriscam?
A maioria das pessoas com PEA testemunhará que they’re completely unfamiliar with the concept of flirting. While neurotypical people usually flirt without even being aware of what they’re doing exactly, spontaneous flirting is nearly impossible for people with ADHD or ASD. They simply don’t feel the need to flirt.
No entanto, quando se aproximam de alguém, normalmente fazem-no através de redes sociais. It’s easier for them to initiate contact outside live interacções sociais.
Por isso, se receberes o frase de engate mais pirosa from your autistic friend or coworker, know that they’re actually doing their best to flirt with you.
Para terminar:
Ver os sinais de que um rapaz autista gosta de si não é a única garantia de que vocês os dois vão cavalgar juntos em direção ao pôr do sol para o seu final feliz. Tenho de a avisar: namorar com um rapaz com autismo é bastante desafiante.
You’ll have to learn his love language, adapt to his social skills and special interests, get used to his touch sensitivity and sense of humor, and put in a lot of effort before figuring him out and learning how to deal with him.
What I am trying to ask you is to think things through before engaging in any kind of relationship with him. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that he’s not worthy of your love. On the contrary, he definitely is.
I’m just asking you not to give him any false hope if you’re not certain that you have what it takes to go through with this relationship. Don’t make him think that his feelings are reciprocated if you’ll break his heart along the way.
Trust me, he’s the last person who deserves that. If you do, you’ll be responsible for the emotional meltdown that comes afterward.
On the other hand, if you decide to jump into this adventure, I promise you that you’ll have the time of your life. You’ll feel more loved and respected than ever.
