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15 Signs An Autistic Guy Likes You (+Tips For Dating Him)

15 Signs An Autistic Guy Likes You (+Tips For Dating Him)

Figuring out whether a man likes you or not is difficult enough, but spotting the signs an autistic guy likes you might seem like a mission impossible. 

People on the autism spectrum are quite unique and often don’t behave the same as neurotypical people. This is especially true when it comes to social cues, body language, facial expressions, and other mannerisms.

With all this in mind, it’s no wonder that you’re having a hard time getting to the bottom of an autistic man’s intentions. Luckily, I’m here to help you out.

15 Signs An Autistic Guy Likes You

If a man with autism spectrum disorder behaves like this, one thing is for sure, he’s crazy about you:

1. He’ll become extra nervous

a man and a woman are sitting on the couch and talking

When you like someone, and you’re not sure whether they like you back, you blush, or your hands start to shake. That is perfectly normal for everyone. However, this feeling of nervousness intensifies for autistic people (and for those with ADHD and Aspergers).

Keep in mind that they lack social skills, which means that dating people is not something they’re necessarily good at. Therefore, for this guy, being around his crush means stepping out of his comfort zone.

If you observe this man carefully, you’ll see that he gets extra nervous the moment you walk into the room. He gets all sweaty, has no clue what to do with his hands, and becomes tongue-tied.

The most important thing to pay attention to here is his stimming and repetitive movements. He might be tapping, swinging his arms or legs, or moving his head back and forth.

2. Avoiding eye contact

Let’s make one thing clear: not all people who display signs of autism have the same autistic traits. After all, autism is a spectrum, and it can be displayed in different ways.

It’s quite possible your autistic guy will avoid looking at you at all costs, despite having a huge crush on you. You try to maintain eye contact and give him a hint that you’re into him. However, every time you do that, he looks away in panic.

Naturally, you think that you’re doing something wrong. It’s not that he’s just not that into you – that he can’t stand looking at you – and that’s how much he doesn’t like you.

Well, I’m here to brighten your day and tell you that this doesn’t have to be anywhere near the truth. On the contrary, he is probably only panicking because he likes you so much. Merely looking at you triggers his anxiety, and that’s why he avoids eye contact with you. 

3. …or he will awkwardly stare at you

On the other hand, you might be dealing with an autistic guy who just stares at you awkwardly and uses prolonged eye contact all the time. No, he doesn’t check you out the way neurotypicals usually do.

He doesn’t say a single word, look at your lips, or smile. Whenever you run into him, he just stares at you as if he were surprised to see you.

If this is the case, it’s one of the clearest signs of his feelings for you. This man is so crazy about you that he becomes absolutely lost when you’re around.

His brain literally freezes. He would like to tell you something, but words fail to come out of his mouth. And just like that, the opportunity goes away. Until the next time he sees you and, once again, stares at you.

4. He’ll ask for your opinion

a man is talking to a woman

If an autistic guy sees you as a romantic relationship partner, it means that his attraction to you is much more than purely physical. Don’t get me wrong, he’s attracted to your looks, but there is something deeper in his emotions.

He appreciates your intellect, attitude, and opinions and thinks of you as wise and intelligent in general. That is why he’ll frequently ask for your advice: because he values your thought process.

In the beginning, this could be a piece of advice on the most random and seemingly unimportant thing. But trust me, they’re important to him. This way, he’s assessing you and trying to figure out if you can be trusted.

Once he starts listening to your advice, you’re in his heart forever. Believe me when I tell you that this is a privilege not many people get.

5. He’ll offer you his help

The best part is that this guy is anything but selfish. Yes, he’ll ask for your advice or help, but at the same time, he’ll offer you his genuine support whenever you need it.

Before he actually helps you, he’ll probably ask if you need a hand. Typically, you’ll respond that you’re okay doing it yourself – not because you don’t need help but because you think it’s polite and because you don’t want to bother anyone else.

However, things don’t work that way with people who possess autistic traits. You have to be upfront with him and admit that you need help. Otherwise, he’ll beat himself up for even asking.

But I have to warn you not to take advantage of his kindness. Just because he offers to give you a lift, help you move, or do another act of service doesn’t mean that you should use him as a personal assistant.

If you don’t like him back, just thank him for his kind offer and carry on with your day!

6. He’s overprotective of you

This guy is hypersensitive – you just fail to see it. If he likes you, he wants you to be happy all the time. He can’t stand the idea of something bad happening to you, and he is ready to protect you at all costs.

Yes, the truth is that, sometimes, he might even become overprotective. But trust me, he is behaving like this because he loves you. Congratulations, you’ve triggered his hero instinct

He is ready to fight anyone who looks at you the wrong way, let alone anything more. This includes his friends and people he cares about as well.

7. Mirroring your body language

People in the autistic spectrum have difficulty expressing their emotions and thoughts through body language. They prefer upfront communication over nonverbal cues at all times.

Basically, your guy is pretty aware of this. He is anxious that other people, especially you, consider his body language awkward and inappropriate.

At the end of the day, he has no idea what is expected of him. What should he do with his hands and legs? Should he laugh? Was that a sarcastic comment, or did someone really try to offend him? Should he blush when he gets a compliment? Is it okay if he touches his hair this many times?

All of these things come naturally to you, and you don’t even give them a second thought. However, he has to think before making the smallest gesture.

So, in order not to chase you away with his “weirdness,” he decides to mirror your body language. Keep in mind that this is something neurotypical people do as well when they’re into someone.

But autistic people do it in a more obvious way. If you laugh, he’ll laugh. If you frown, he’ll frown, and so on.

8. He pays attention to little things

a man and a woman are sitting at a table in a cafe and talking

One of the common traits of people with autism is that they pay attention to details. Your autistic guy will notice every little thing about his surroundings and the people around him. If he acts this way towards people he has no feelings for, just imagine how attentive he is when the object of his affection is in question.

This is a man who never forgets your birthday, who notices when you get just a little haircut, and who knows exactly what type of perfume you wear on what social occasion. You never told him about your favorite band or actors, but he saw it on social media and remembered.

No, he’s not some kind of stalker. He just wants to know more about your special interests. After all, isn’t this the way every guy who courts a girl should behave?

At first, you’ll probably be shocked by the amount of information he has on you. But if you’re smart, you’ll see it as the biggest compliment a woman can get.

9. He’s a great listener

If you ask his friends their favorite thing about this guy, they’ll all tell you that he is an amazing listener. And that really is the truth.

He is always there for others to offer them a shoulder to cry on, to give them advice, or just to hear them out. So you can only imagine how much he listens to you – the woman he is crazy about.

This man is anything but self-centered. He won’t have trouble talking about himself if asked and if he sees that you genuinely care.

In the meantime, he’ll only listen to what you have to say. Don’t worry, he doesn’t find you boring. On the contrary, he enjoys getting the chance to find out more about you.

It doesn’t matter if you’re having friend problems, if something is going on with your family, or if you’re just worried about work. It’s enough for you to call him, and he’ll be right there to hear you out. I’m only begging you not to talk about your boyfriend problems with this amazing guy because that would break his heart.

10. He pushes himself out of his comfort zone

Social events and social interactions, in general, are this guy’s biggest nightmare. He doesn’t see the point in small talk or hanging out with his coworkers during lunch break.

However, all of this changes when it comes to you. Let’s say that you two work together. Your company has an upcoming teambuilding exercise in a few days. I can assure you that he didn’t even think of attending before finding out that you would be there.

That is when everything changed. Suddenly, he is ready to face his social anxiety and engage in social interactions just so he can be close to you.

The same goes for clubbing or doing other things he’s not comfortable with. This man is literally sacrificing his inner peace to spend time with you. He’s pushing himself out of his comfort zone, and trust me, he would never do something like that if he weren’t really into you.

11. He likes spending time with you

One of the biggest signs an autistic guy likes you lies in the fact that he adores spending time with you. You mustn’t forget that we’re talking about people who cherish their alone time over everything else. Usually, he enjoys being in his inner world, alone with his thoughts, and is quite a loner.

However, all of that changed when you came into the picture. All of a sudden, you became his favorite person, and he realized he preferred being with you to being on his own.

It doesn’t really matter what you two are doing as long as you’re together. For him, it’s enough just to sit with you in silence, peacefully, and he’ll be the happiest guy in the world. Your presence is what matters!

12. He texts you… A LOT

a smiling man is sitting and typing on the phone

Okay, I’ll be honest with you: people with autism spectrum disorder are terrible texters. No, your guy is not bad at texting in the sense of being a dry texter. On the contrary, he doesn’t know when to stop.

One of the first signs a guy is into you is the text messages you keep getting. A neurotypical man will send you a bunch of text messages during the day simply because he has the uncontrollable urge to get in touch with you.

However, an autistic guy will go out of his way while texting. He will feel the need to share every detail of his day with you, send you funny memes, and talk to you about every random topic he could possibly think of.

He won’t take the hint. Even if you don’t respond, he’ll keep on texting you.

But even if he bores you, try seeing it from a different angle. This is his way of showing you how important you are to him and how much he likes you

13. He lets you in

One of the most powerful signs an autistic guy likes you is that he gives you access to his little world. Emotional unavailability and distance are common traits of people with an autism spectrum disorder.

Therefore, this man usually has an extremely hard time genuinely opening up to someone. He has a small circle of friends he spends time with and talks to. As far as everyone else is concerned, he builds thick and high walls around himself so nobody can get into his heart or mind.

But somehow, you managed to break in. He shares everything with you and doesn’t hesitate to answer your deep questions. He talks to you about his traumas, fears, dreams, and aspirations and gives you full access to his private life.

If this is the case, you should feel pretty damn special.

14. He directly asks you on a date

We’ve already established one thing: people with autism are bad with social cues, and they’re not pros at dating people. Your guy is perfectly aware of that.

So instead of torturing you both, he might directly ask you out on a date. And he’ll put a label on it right away – he wants to take you out on a first date that might be the start of a potential romantic relationship.

He won’t try masking it and asking you to hang out with his friends or suggest a casual get-together. You’ll know it’s a date from the very first moment.

At first, you might find this unusual, especially if you didn’t see the signs an autistic guy likes you. However, if you think about it, it’s actually the best way to start something new.

15. He tells you he likes you

If your autistic friend or coworker is into you, don’t be surprised if they just approach you and tell you how they feel. Yes, it will be out of the blue because they never showed any hints of attraction toward you. But that’s simply how most autistic people work.

Instead of laughing it off, appreciate his courage. I mean, most neurotypical guys wouldn’t have the courage to talk to you upfront while wearing their hearts on their sleeves.

So, if you like him back (and I suppose you do – otherwise, you wouldn’t be here), don’t play hard to get. This will probably be your first impulse because you don’t want him to think of you as desperate.

Nevertheless, if you hesitate, you’ll chase him away. Just accept his invitation as openly as he gave it to you.

How Do Autistic Men Show Love?

a smiling woman is sitting in the kitchen with a man and they are talking

One thing is certain: people on the autistic spectrum show love in quite an unusual way. The strongest sign of their love is letting you into their personal space.

People with ASD have strong boundaries, and if they don’t consider you extremely important, they’ll never give you a free pass into their inner world. On the other hand, if an autistic guy loves you, he’ll want to share all of his interests with you, even the ones he considers awkward.

Maybe he won’t outright say, “I love you,” but he’ll definitely perform some acts of service because this is their love language. This frequently includes little favors, such as tidying up your room, taking out the trash, pouring you a drink, or cooking your favorite food.

How Do You Get An Autistic Man To Like You?

The biggest problem with getting an aspie to like you is that they’re terrible at taking hints. This guy is not likely to read your non-verbal clues and realize you’re into him.

That is why you must be as direct as possible when it comes to him. Just be straight and tell him that you like him in a romantic way. Tell him that you hope to become his girlfriend.

When you make the first move (or at least do something to help him make the first move), he’ll start seeing you as a potential romantic interest. Until then, he’ll probably never think of you in that way.

Another way to get him to like you is to show interest in the things he’s interested in. However, you have to be extra careful while doing this because he might see it as an invasion of his personal space. That is why you have to find the perfect balance between showing him that you want to enter his world while respecting his boundaries.

How Do Autistic People Flirt?

Most people with ASD will testify that they’re completely unfamiliar with the concept of flirting. While neurotypical people usually flirt without even being aware of what they’re doing exactly, spontaneous flirting is nearly impossible for people with ADHD or ASD. They simply don’t feel the need to flirt.

However, when they do approach someone, they usually do it through social media. It’s easier for them to initiate contact outside live social interactions.

So, if you get the cheesiest pick-up line from your autistic friend or coworker, know that they’re actually doing their best to flirt with you.

To Wrap Up:

Seeing the signs an autistic guy likes you is not the only guarantee that you two will ride off together into the sunset to your happy ending. I have to warn you: dating a guy with autism is quite challenging.

You’ll have to learn his love language, adapt to his social skills and special interests, get used to his touch sensitivity and sense of humor, and put in a lot of effort before figuring him out and learning how to deal with him.

What I am trying to ask you is to think things through before engaging in any kind of relationship with him. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that he’s not worthy of your love. On the contrary, he definitely is.

I’m just asking you not to give him any false hope if you’re not certain that you have what it takes to go through with this relationship. Don’t make him think that his feelings are reciprocated if you’ll break his heart along the way.

Trust me, he’s the last person who deserves that. If you do, you’ll be responsible for the emotional meltdown that comes afterward.

On the other hand, if you decide to jump into this adventure, I promise you that you’ll have the time of your life. You’ll feel more loved and respected than ever.