Uma carta para a minha mãe

Para o meu herói, a minha rocha e o meu melhor amigo... Para a minha mãe.

First of all, I must apologize to you for taking so long to write this letter. It took me almost ten years, but you used to say that it’s never too late to do a good thing.

You left me too soon, with hundreds of unsaid words and even more unexpressed feelings. I know that you didn’t want that either, but life can be unfair sometimes.

Deixo-me ficar neste mundo com a esperança de que esteja agora num lugar melhor e que tenha finalmente encontrado a sua paz.

You were always trying to be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, a better friend… and you were. You were THE BEST mama!

You used to say that we won’t be able to understand you and Dad until we have our own kids. And you were right.

Now that I have my daughter, I am aware of all the sacrifices you had to make to raise us. And because of that, I am so very sorry that I can’t thank you enough or to show you how I appreciate it.

But even if you were here, one lifetime wouldn’t be enough to thank you for everything you’ve done for us.

Agora compreendo que a vida nunca foi tão fácil e perfeita como sempre tentaste apresentá-la.

Tudo o que podíamos ver no teu rosto era um sorriso porque querias proteger-nos das coisas más e das pessoas más.

Um sorriso era a sua arma contra todas as coisas más que aconteciam na sua vida.

Nunca pensámos que tivesses algum problema, porque foi tua a decisão de não nos mostrares nada a não ser amor e felicidade. E estou muito grata por isso, porque tivemos uma infância despreocupada.

Lembro-me de como costumávamos pedir jornais emprestados ao avô só para ler o horóscopo.

And how you used to say that you’re glad I am a Sagittarius because I could protect you with my arrow if something or someone attacks you.

But now, I even hate reading horoscopes because of that evil sign – CANCER. Oh, how life can be ironic sometimes. Unfair and ironic, I think, those are two words that describe it truly.

Your zodiac sign was Cancer, and your granddaughter is Cancer, also. That’s why July is the hardest month for me.

I have to celebrate your and her birthday, and I have to go to your “resting place” (if I call it a grave, it’ll mean you’re never coming home again) because you also passed away in that month.

That’s why July feels like an eternity for me every year. That’s why cancer became my worst enemy that took you away from me at a very young age.

I am so very sorry I couldn’t shoot it and protect you from that evil enemy. I am sorry I failed as your Little Archer.

Mas mãe, eu juro que vou ajudar as pessoas a lutar contra isso todos os dias da minha vida. Oh, se ao menos eu pudesse impedir que ele deixasse outra jovem rapariga sem a sua mãe, nunca mais.

Eras um lutador e talvez tenhas perdido no último assalto, mas nunca te rendeste.

That’s why you are a true hero. And your rival, our sworn enemy, cancer, is the biggest coward because it always attacked you when you thought the game was over.

E lembrem-se disto: Os heróis nunca morrem, because they live in the stories of other people. And that’s how you are still here with us.

Falo de ti todos os dias à tua neta e é assim que te trazemos de volta todos os dias.

Deixaste-nos tantas lições de vida, tantas receitas dos nossos pratos preferidos, tantas recordações bonitas e um amor incondicional.

Deixaste-nos tantos pedaços de ti, mas também levaste um pedaço de cada um de nós contigo.

Estava a pensar se alguma vez voltaremos a ter essa peça de volta. Ou está a guardá-la para o dia em que nos voltarmos a ver?

Even if we get it before then, we will never be whole again until we see you and know for sure that you’re doing great up there, just like you did down here.

I have so many things to say to you, but if only I could see you one last time, for a second at least, I wouldn’t spend our time on words, I would just hug you tight.

Esse abraço mostrar-te-ia como foste amada e sentida durante todo este tempo. Gostava de ter sabido como o nosso tempo era precioso, mas sempre pensei que estarias sempre aqui. E agora sei que, de alguma forma, estarás.

Talvez não estejas fisicamente presente, mas estás aqui em todas as outras formas e feitios.

In my mind, my rhymes, my poems, and my heart. The only thing I think I couldn’t resist saying would be these three words: Love you, Mama…

Pedi tantas vezes a Deus para te enviar nos meus sonhos. Mas nunca vieste, nem mesmo lá.

At first, I thought that you were angry because I didn’t say that final goodbye to you, for which I’ve apologized to you every day since.

But I was in another city, studying, trying to make you proud. I know that you were always hoping how I’d finish a great school and become an independent woman one day.

Por isso, espero que estejam agora orgulhosos de mim, estejam onde estiverem.

Agora tenho um marido fantástico, uma filha linda, a melhor família que uma pessoa poderia desejar, mas mesmo assim, o melhor elogio que recebo é quando as pessoas dizem que me pareço, ando ou falo como tu.

Dad says that every time he hears my laugh, he thinks that you’ve come back home.

I don’t have many photographs of you because you didn’t like that, just like I don’t like now, so I don’t blame you for that. The photographs of you in my mind will never fade.

This is not just a letter for my momma… I wanted to write an open letter to all of you who sympathize with me, but also to all of you whose mothers are still here and alive.

Please don’t neglect your mothers. Please be patient with them in their old age like they were with you in your teenage years. Please help them and visit them any time you can. Please don’t let anyone or anything be more important.

Por favor, certifique-se de que eles sabem o quanto são amados e respeitados. E certifique-se de que nunca os deixa sem lhes dizer o quanto os ama.

You never know what tomorrow brings, and you’ll forever regret it if you didn’t take the time to say “I love you” one last time.

Espero que saibas como sentes a tua falta e como és amada, mamã. Espero voltar a ver-te um dia. Até lá, sê corajosa e alegre como sempre foste.

Don’t worry about us, we are safe because we have a guardian angel who takes very good care of us.