Una lettera a mia madre - P.S. Mi manchi

Al mio eroe, alla mia roccia e al mio migliore amico... A mia madre.

First of all, I must apologize to you for taking so long to write this letter. It took me almost ten years, but you used to say that it’s never too late to do a good thing.

You left me too soon, with hundreds of unsaid words and even more unexpressed feelings. I know that you didn’t want that either, but life can be unfair sometimes.

Mi resta in questo mondo la speranza che tu sia in un posto migliore ora e che tu abbia finalmente trovato la tua pace.

You were always trying to be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, a better friend… and you were. You were THE BEST mama!

You used to say that we won’t be able to understand you and Dad until we have our own kids. And you were right.

Now that I have my daughter, I am aware of all the sacrifices you had to make to raise us. And because of that, I am so very sorry that I can’t thank you enough or to show you how I appreciate it.

But even if you were here, one lifetime wouldn’t be enough to thank you for everything you’ve done for us.

Ora capisco che la vita non è mai stata così facile e perfetta come lei ha sempre cercato di presentarcela.

Sul tuo volto abbiamo visto solo un sorriso, perché volevi proteggerci dalle cose brutte e dalle persone malvagie.

Il sorriso era la vostra arma contro tutte le cose brutte che accadevano nella vostra vita.

Non abbiamo mai pensato che aveste dei problemi, perché avete deciso di non mostrarci nulla se non amore e felicità. E di questo ti sono molto grata perché abbiamo avuto un'infanzia spensierata.

Ricordo che prendevamo in prestito i giornali dal nonno solo per leggervi l'oroscopo.

And how you used to say that you’re glad I am a Sagittarius because I could protect you with my arrow if something or someone attacks you.

But now, I even hate reading horoscopes because of that evil sign – CANCER. Oh, how life can be ironic sometimes. Unfair and ironic, I think, those are two words that describe it truly.

Your zodiac sign was Cancer, and your granddaughter is Cancer, also. That’s why July is the hardest month for me.

I have to celebrate your and her birthday, and I have to go to your “resting place” (if I call it a grave, it’ll mean you’re never coming home again) because you also passed away in that month.

That’s why July feels like an eternity for me every year. That’s why cancer became my worst enemy that took you away from me at a very young age.

I am so very sorry I couldn’t shoot it and protect you from that evil enemy. I am sorry I failed as your Little Archer.

Ma mamma, giuro che aiuterò le persone a combatterlo ogni giorno della mia vita. Se solo potessi evitare che un'altra ragazza rimanga di nuovo senza madre".

Sei stato un combattente e forse hai perso nell'ultimo round, ma non ti sei mai arreso.

That’s why you are a true hero. And your rival, our sworn enemy, cancer, is the biggest coward because it always attacked you when you thought the game was over.

E ricordate questo: Gli eroi non muoiono mai, because they live in the stories of other people. And that’s how you are still here with us.

Parlo di te ogni giorno a tua nipote ed è così che ti riportiamo in vita ogni giorno.

Ci hai lasciato tante lezioni di vita, tante ricette dei nostri piatti preferiti, tanti bei ricordi e un amore incondizionato.

Ci hai lasciato tanti pezzi di te, ma hai anche portato con te un pezzo di ciascuno di noi.

Mi chiedevo se potremo mai riavere quel pezzo. O lo stai conservando per il giorno in cui ci rivedremo?

Even if we get it before then, we will never be whole again until we see you and know for sure that you’re doing great up there, just like you did down here.

I have so many things to say to you, but if only I could see you one last time, for a second at least, I wouldn’t spend our time on words, I would just hug you tight.

Quell'abbraccio ti avrebbe mostrato quanto sei stato amato e mancato per tutto questo tempo. Avrei voluto sapere quanto fosse prezioso il nostro tempo, ma ho sempre pensato che saresti stato sempre qui. E ora so che, in qualche modo, ci sarai.

Forse non siete fisicamente presenti, ma siete qui in ogni altra forma.

In my mind, my rhymes, my poems, and my heart. The only thing I think I couldn’t resist saying would be these three words: Love you, Mama…

Ho chiesto a Dio tante volte di mandarti in sogno. Ma non sei mai arrivato, nemmeno lì.

At first, I thought that you were angry because I didn’t say that final goodbye to you, for which I’ve apologized to you every day since.

But I was in another city, studying, trying to make you proud. I know that you were always hoping how I’d finish a great school and become an independent woman one day.

Quindi, spero che ora siate orgogliosi di me da qualunque parte siate.

Ora ho un marito fantastico, una figlia bellissima, la migliore famiglia che una persona possa mai chiedere, ma comunque il miglior complimento che ricevo è quando le persone mi dicono che assomiglio, cammino o parlo come te.

Dad says that every time he hears my laugh, he thinks that you’ve come back home.

I don’t have many photographs of you because you didn’t like that, just like I don’t like now, so I don’t blame you for that. The photographs of you in my mind will never fade.

This is not just a letter for my momma… I wanted to write an open letter to all of you who sympathize with me, but also to all of you whose mothers are still here and alive.

Please don’t neglect your mothers. Please be patient with them in their old age like they were with you in your teenage years. Please help them and visit them any time you can. Please don’t let anyone or anything be more important.

Assicuratevi che sappiano quanto sono amati e rispettati. E assicuratevi di non lasciarli mai senza aver detto loro quanto li amate.

You never know what tomorrow brings, and you’ll forever regret it if you didn’t take the time to say “I love you” one last time.

Spero che tu sappia quanto ci manchi e quanto sei amata, mamma. Spero di rivederti un giorno. Fino ad allora, sii coraggiosa e allegra come sei sempre stata.

Don’t worry about us, we are safe because we have a guardian angel who takes very good care of us.