Carta a mi madre - Posdata: Te echo de menos

A mi héroe, mi roca y mi mejor amiga... A mi madre.

First of all, I must apologize to you for taking so long to write this letter. It took me almost ten years, but you used to say that it’s never too late to do a good thing.

You left me too soon, with hundreds of unsaid words and even more unexpressed feelings. I know that you didn’t want that either, but life can be unfair sometimes.

Me quedo en este mundo con la esperanza de que ahora estés en un lugar mejor y que por fin hayas encontrado la paz.

You were always trying to be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, a better friend… and you were. You were THE BEST mama!

You used to say that we won’t be able to understand you and Dad until we have our own kids. And you were right.

Now that I have my daughter, I am aware of all the sacrifices you had to make to raise us. And because of that, I am so very sorry that I can’t thank you enough or to show you how I appreciate it.

But even if you were here, one lifetime wouldn’t be enough to thank you for everything you’ve done for us.

Ahora entiendo que la vida nunca fue tan fácil y perfecta como siempre intentaste presentárnosla.

Todo lo que podíamos ver en tu cara era una sonrisa porque querías protegernos de las cosas malas y de la gente malvada.

Una sonrisa era tu arma contra todas las cosas malas que te pasaban en la vida.

Nunca supusimos que tuvieras problemas porque fue tu decisión no mostrarnos nada que no fuera amor y felicidad. Y estoy muy agradecida por ello, porque tuvimos una infancia sin preocupaciones.

Recuerdo que el abuelo nos prestaba el periódico para leer el horóscopo.

And how you used to say that you’re glad I am a Sagittarius because I could protect you with my arrow if something or someone attacks you.

But now, I even hate reading horoscopes because of that evil sign – CANCER. Oh, how life can be ironic sometimes. Unfair and ironic, I think, those are two words that describe it truly.

Your zodiac sign was Cancer, and your granddaughter is Cancer, also. That’s why July is the hardest month for me.

I have to celebrate your and her birthday, and I have to go to your “resting place” (if I call it a grave, it’ll mean you’re never coming home again) because you also passed away in that month.

That’s why July feels like an eternity for me every year. That’s why cancer became my worst enemy that took you away from me at a very young age.

I am so very sorry I couldn’t shoot it and protect you from that evil enemy. I am sorry I failed as your Little Archer.

Pero mamá, te juro que ayudaré a la gente a combatirlo todos los días de mi vida. Ojalá pudiera evitar que otra niña se quede sin su madre.

Fuiste un luchador y quizá perdiste en el último asalto, pero nunca te rendiste.

That’s why you are a true hero. And your rival, our sworn enemy, cancer, is the biggest coward because it always attacked you when you thought the game was over.

Y recuerda esto: Los héroes nunca mueren, because they live in the stories of other people. And that’s how you are still here with us.

Hablo de ti todos los días con tu nieta y así es como te traemos de vuelta cada día.

Nos dejaste tantas lecciones de vida, tantas recetas de nuestras comidas favoritas, tantos recuerdos hermosos y un amor incondicional.

Nos dejaste tantos trozos de ti, pero también te llevaste un trozo de cada uno de nosotros contigo.

Me preguntaba si alguna vez volveremos a tener esa pieza. ¿O la guardas para el día en que nos volvamos a ver?

Even if we get it before then, we will never be whole again until we see you and know for sure that you’re doing great up there, just like you did down here.

I have so many things to say to you, but if only I could see you one last time, for a second at least, I wouldn’t spend our time on words, I would just hug you tight.

Ese abrazo te demostraría lo querido y echado de menos que has estado todo este tiempo. Ojalá hubiera sabido lo precioso que fue nuestro tiempo, pero siempre pensé que siempre estarías aquí. Y ahora sé que, de alguna manera, lo estarás.

Tal vez no estés físicamente presente, pero estás aquí en todas las demás formas.

In my mind, my rhymes, my poems, and my heart. The only thing I think I couldn’t resist saying would be these three words: Love you, Mama…

Le pedí a Dios tantas veces que te enviara en mis sueños. Pero nunca viniste, ni siquiera allí.

At first, I thought that you were angry because I didn’t say that final goodbye to you, for which I’ve apologized to you every day since.

But I was in another city, studying, trying to make you proud. I know that you were always hoping how I’d finish a great school and become an independent woman one day.

Así que espero que ahora estés orgulloso de mí desde dondequiera que estés.

Ahora tengo un marido estupendo, una hija preciosa, la mejor familia que una persona pueda pedir, pero aun así, el mejor cumplido que recibo es cuando la gente me dice que me parezco, camino o hablo como tú.

Dad says that every time he hears my laugh, he thinks that you’ve come back home.

I don’t have many photographs of you because you didn’t like that, just like I don’t like now, so I don’t blame you for that. The photographs of you in my mind will never fade.

This is not just a letter for my momma… I wanted to write an open letter to all of you who sympathize with me, but also to all of you whose mothers are still here and alive.

Please don’t neglect your mothers. Please be patient with them in their old age like they were with you in your teenage years. Please help them and visit them any time you can. Please don’t let anyone or anything be more important.

Asegúrate de que sepan lo queridos y respetados que son. Y asegúrate de no dejarles nunca sin decirles cuánto les quieres.

You never know what tomorrow brings, and you’ll forever regret it if you didn’t take the time to say “I love you” one last time.

Espero que sepas cuánto te echamos de menos y cuánto te queremos, mamá. Espero volver a verte algún día. Hasta entonces, sé valiente y alegre como siempre fuiste.

Don’t worry about us, we are safe because we have a guardian angel who takes very good care of us.