Our lives are essentially based on relationships and one of the most important relationship is the one we have with our significant other. Its importance is tightly connected to our other relationships and our overall well-being.
Love is the main spice of life. When we love and feel loved we flourish in every aspect of our life. But if you want to have a strong and healthy relationship you need to put some effort into it.
You need to work not only on your relationship but on yourself too.
I analyzed what makes a relationship great and strong, and these are 22 core elements of every successful relationship you’ll want to follow.
1. Show your love. Every day!
Don’t just feel it, don’t keep it for yourself like it’s some kind of a top secret.
Let it out, let it be shown by every move you make, by every word you say!
“Your greatest power is to show love, to receive love and to be love.” – Oprah Winfrey
2. It all begins with you
Don’t try to change him, you’ll just end up frustrated. Instead, try working on what you can control. That means yourself. Improve yourself! There are many ways to help yourself feel better: meditation, mindfulness, yoga, and the list goes on.
Also, nurture your creative force and you’ll thrive in relationships.
You’ll notice how relationships can change you. You’ll become a kinder person or become more self-assured.
“The meeting of two personalities is like contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” Carl Gustav Jung
3. Let your thoughts flow freely and keep him on your mind
Let your mind wander and pay attention to where it goes. What are you thinking about? About him, I know. And it makes you feel great.
“I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time.” – Kazuo Ishiguro
4. Focus on what’s good about you two
If you focus on the good sides and positive aspects of your relationship you’ll be able to live with all the imperfections. And there are always plenty of those, we’re just humans, remember.
“I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.” – Angelita Lim
5. Be happy with yourself
Only if you’re happy on your own you can be happy with someone else. A happy person makes a happy relationship. Don’t expect the relationship to make you happy. It’s the other way around.
“A relationship isn’t meant to make you happy. It’s meant to add to that existing happiness. Our own happiness is our responsibility”
6. To have the right relationship you must be right
Don’t perceive your relationship as something outside of you. It’s you, it’s inside of you. So make sure you nurture it, water it, and watch it grow. If you’re fine everything around you will be fine.
“Finding the right person means being the right person.”
7. Embrace the imperfections
Accept the imperfections, yours, his, and the ones in your relationship. Don’t let the negative emotions overwhelm you. Learn to forgive. Be your best self. You’ll be happier, trust me.
“True love doesn’t come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – Jason Jordan
8. Seeing good sides will attract more good
When you’re focusing and appreciating the good parts of your relationship and your partner you radiate good vibes and attract more good things to come your way.
“You attract the energy that you give off. Spread good vibes.”
9. Allow yourself to bloom
Allow yourself to grow and learn new things. It not only improves you but your relationships too.
Make sure to bloom!
“The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. The flower blooms, and the bee comes.” – Arty Fischel
10. Celebrate your love
Celebrate yourself, celebrate him and all that brings you together.
“You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known—and even that is an understatement.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
11. Let your actions speak for you
More often than not what you do and how you do it expresses love better than words. You can say “I love you” in many different ways without saying a word.
“Thoughts do more. Words do much. Actions do much more.” – Israelmore Ayivor
12. Overlook flaws
Accept what annoys you and let it go. You can live with some of his flaws. You’re not flawless, either.
Be grateful for what he is. Show how much you appreciate your partner. Compliment his virtues and thank him when he does something for you.
“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” Elizabeth Gilbert
13. Love yourself
Work on self-love and self-care. Take care of yourself first, be well, and then your relationship will be well too. When you learn to love yourself first you’ll become lovable and able to give love.
“One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband is your own wholeness.” – Stormie Omartian
14. Live in the moment
Be present in NOW and focus on every memorable moment you two share together.
“Love like there’s no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.” – Max Lucado”
15. Stay committed
Stay true and consistent in your relationship. Build trust. Make thoughtful decisions! It means you’re loyal even during the storms.
“It’s simple really, you have to be willing to go through the valleys as much as you are willing to go through the peaks. Put yourself all in and stay in it for the long haul.”
16. Do something special and kind every day
Stay kind and generous, do something nice, surprise him. Surprises will keep your relationship fresh.
Even the smallest act of kindness will strengthen your bond and give you a nice reminder of why you are together in the first place.
“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” Maya Angelou
17. Shape your future with lessons from the past
Learn from your past mistakes in relationships and make this one harmonious and comfortable. Shape your future.
“Study the past if you would define the future.” — Confucius
18. Enjoy quality time together
The more you invest in your relationship, the better it becomes. Schedule a date at least once a week. I mean a real date!
Go to see the movies or have dinner at a fancy restaurant or do other fun things you both enjoy.
“Having a good time together is the essence of lovingness and the best means of increasing it.” – Benjamin Spock
19. Little things
It’s all about little things. Don’t underestimate the small, almost unnoticeable gestures and actions you do every day! They express your love better than great acts.
“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.” – John Wooden
20. Give support and ask for support
Be supportive in hard times. Make sure you’re there for him when he needs you, but also ask for help when YOU need it. Be his rock and promise to “always have his back through thick and thin”.
“When I feel the support that I have from him, I feel invincible. There’s someone behind you on your good days and someone in front of you on your bad days.” —Emily Blunt
21. Talk openly
Don’t expect him to read your mind, tell him how you feel and let him know if something upsets you. Express your vulnerability, and let him do the same. Be a good listener too!
When you can talk to your partner openly without any restraints it strengthens the emotional connection between you two.
“A lot of problems in the world would be solved if we talked to each other instead of about each other.” – Nicky Gumbel
22. Maintain your relationship
Give care and nurture your relationship. When you two seem broken, do all you can to fix you. Resolve conflicts respectfully. The relationship is like a car. From time to time it needs service.
“A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out you don’t go and buy a new house, you change the lightbulb.”
Did you take notes? Use all these tips and let your relationship flourish!