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3. “Calm down,’’ or, “Relax.’’

Saying this to your partner is acceptable literally only if you want him to get ten times as upset as he already is. This usually does the opposite of what it’s supposed to.

Try to validate his feeling at all times. If you don’t understand where he’s coming from, ask!

But don’t make him seem irrational for having feelings and openly expressing them. Act like a mature adult and talk without judging or diminishing his feelings.