It’s frustrating to invest yourself in someone only for them to disappear like nothing happened. You think you have this amazing energy going on, everything seems great, and then…poof! It’s all gone!
We’ve all been there, wondering if we said or did something that scared them away.
I once went on a date with a guy, we kept texting after the date and he even said he was excited to go out with me again. The chemistry was crazy!
This lasted for a couple of days and then one night he suddenly left me hanging. I thought that maybe he fell asleep but no, I got his response three days later. Three days later!! Can you imagine?
Since a lot of women deal with this, one love coach decided to finally put our minds at ease and explain the reason behind this.
Ultimate test of women’s reaction
Love coach, Brody Boyd posted a TikTok about why guys suddenly disappear during the dating phase. Apparently, they ghost to see our reaction.
Brody says:
“He won’t text you back or he’ll disappear or go missing to see how you respond. I’m not saying this is great and in fact he could be doing this unconsciously or he could be doing it consciously, but when a guy ‘goes missing’ or pulls away in that way often it is a test.”
He further explains that they do this because they want to find out what’s your personality like. If you get pissed off immediately and send him a bunch of texts, he’ll think you’re desperate.
The point is men don’t want a woman who’s needy so by attacking him you can only push him further away and lose him forever. On the other hand, if you keep your cool, don’t bother asking him why he’s not responding, that’s a plus.
Brody says if you continue with your life, this will send a strong message that you know your value and won’t accept this behavior. So he’ll think you have standards and want someone more available.
Women didn’t like what this love coach had to say and didn’t hesitate to write that in the comments. Many said that this is not a test but a huge red flag, and some wrote that acting this way is childish and women don’t have time for playing games.
One woman wrote:
“Why do people feel the need to play games anyway! Too old for the BS! Life is already difficult enough to try work out what’s really going on.”
Another added:
“He can do that for sure. But once my text or call goes unanswered he won’t receive a reply when he decides to come back.
Honestly, I agree and love this energy in the comments. But if you really like him, it can be hard to simply move on with your life. So, what do you do when you just can’t let it go?
Do this when he doesn’t text you back
The love coach followed up with another video to give tips on how to act if you find yourself in this situation.
He said that the best thing you could do is forget about him and do whatever you have to do to not text back. As Brody says:
“Make sure to give him the space and realize that most likely he’s probably not gonna reach back out and the only thing that will probably cause him to reach back out is you not acting needy, not acting desperate, not sending something that you’ll later regret.”
He also explained that this would encourage you not to get attached easily and annoy yourself for no reason so you could focus on other things.
Then if he eventually texts you back it will only be a pleasant surprise because you weren’t expecting it in the first place. So basically, no strings attached!
Trust me, I know how hard following this advice can be! It’s like you’re waiting for someone that might never come. However, redirecting your energy and focusing on something else is really helpful.
Whenever I had the urge to take my phone and text him I would tell myself that I shouldn’t chase anyone, and neither should you, girl! Doing something to take my mind off him always does wonders.
Just don’t overthink it! Go out with your girls, and even start dating other people if you want. In that way, you’ll focus on something else that can also bring you joy and satisfaction. Maybe you even find someone who’s more available and ready to give you the attention you need.
Either way, do what makes you happy, and if you’re not in the mood for games, move on and don’t waste your time!