You know that sinking feeling when a conversation takes a wrong turn—someone throws out a phrase, and suddenly it’s clear: they’re not as open-minded as they like to think. I’ve seen it. I’ve done it. Most of us have, at some point.
We swear we’re flexible, unbiased, ready to hear anything. But then, these little statements sneak in. They sound harmless. Sometimes, they even sound wise. But the truth is—they shut doors, not open them.
Do you ever wondered what it sounds like when someone’s stuck in their thinking? Do you want to check yourself for blind spots? If you said “yes”, here are sixteen things people who aren’t as open minded as they think say—often without even realizing it.
1. “That’s just the way things are.”
There’s something about this phrase that feels ancient—like it’s survived generations just to stop uncomfortable conversations in their tracks. It’s a phrase that masquerades as wisdom. But really, it’s a shield—one that blocks curiosity, questions, and, honestly, any real progress.
When someone says this, it’s not about the world’s natural order; it’s about their unwillingness to revisit what they’ve always believed.
People reach for this line when tradition feels safer than uncertainty. But let’s be honest—most big changes in history started with someone questioning why things were the way they were. If you catch yourself thinking it, stop. Ask why things have to stay that way. You might surprise yourself.
2. “You’re just being too sensitive.”
I remember talking to a friend about something personal, when she tossed this out. In that moment, her words stung more than any argument. It was the sound of someone putting up a wall, refusing to hear what I actually felt.
This phrase hurts because it’s a shortcut to shutting someone down. It tells them their emotions are the problem instead of actually listening to what’s underneath. I get why people say it—it’s easier than facing their own discomfort about what you’re sharing.
But here’s the thing: feeling deeply isn’t a flaw. It’s human. When you’re tempted to use these words, try to pause. Ask what’s really going on for the other person. You might finally hear what they’ve been trying to say all along.
3. “I’m just playing devil’s advocate.”
We all know that one person—maybe it’s you—who loves to drop this line in the middle of an argument. I used to think it sounded clever. But really, it’s a safety net, a way to poke holes in someone else’s ideas without having to stand for anything yourself.
The problem is, it’s rarely about genuine curiosity. Most of the time, it’s just a way to shoot down a new idea. People use it when they don’t want to risk being wrong, or when they’re too scared to admit they actually agree with the person talking.
If you catch yourself reaching for this phrase, ask why. Is it about challenging the idea—or just dodging vulnerability? Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is say what you truly think, instead of hiding behind a debate trick.
4. “Everyone thinks that.”
This one slips out more often than we realize—it’s the verbal equivalent of wrapping yourself in a comfort blanket made out of consensus.
When people say this, it’s rarely true. Everyone doesn’t think anything. There’s always someone with a different story, a different truth, sitting quietly at the edge of the conversation. But it’s easier to pretend there’s unanimous agreement than to invite disagreement.
The next time you’re tempted to claim the group is on your side, look around. Who’s not speaking? What stories are left out? Real open-mindedness means sitting with the discomfort of not having the crowd behind you.
5. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Whenever someone dropped this line on me growing up, it felt like a locked door. I’d ask a real question—something I cared about—and get this in response. Suddenly, my curiosity became a problem, not a possibility.
This phrase isn’t about wisdom; it’s about power. It says, “I’ve decided you’re not ready for the answer, and that’s the end of it.” Maybe that feels safe for the person saying it, but for the person hearing it? It can feel like you’re being told you’re not enough—yet.
Instead of using this phrase, try sharing what you actually know. Let the younger person surprise you. At times, wisdom comes in younger voices, too. You never know who’s going to teach you something new.
6. “That’s not a real problem.”
It’s easy to forget: what feels trivial to you might be enormous to someone else. I’ve heard this in workplaces, family dinners, even group chats. The words land heavy, leaving the other person feeling invisible and small.
Most of us don’t mean to be cruel. We just want to keep things simple—tie up loose ends and move on. But minimizing someone else’s struggle doesn’t actually help anyone. It teaches people to hide what hurts them.
If you notice yourself brushing off someone’s worries, stop. Ask yourself what it would feel like to bring your own fears to that person. Would you want your pain ranked or dismissed? Most of us just want to feel believed, not belittled.
7. “If you don’t like it, leave.”
This phrase is a door slammed in someone’s face. It’s a harsh way to dodge responsibility for problems.
Instead of asking why someone is upset, it demands silence—or exile. The underlying message? There’s no room for disagreement here, and if you don’t fit, you don’t belong.
Truth is, questioning the status quo is how things get better. Remember: inclusion isn’t about comfort—it’s about making space, even for the voices that make you uncomfortable.
8. “We’ve always done it this way.”
I once had a boss who wielded this phrase like a shield. Every time someone proposed a tweak, she’d drag it out, like an old family recipe no one could question. The thing is, it didn’t make her sound experienced—it made her sound stuck.
Tradition can be comforting, no doubt. But when it stands in the way of progress, it becomes a cage. This phrase is usually a warning sign: the person saying it is afraid of what change might mean for them.
What’s the real risk in trying something new? At times, the biggest leaps forward start with the smallest changes. You don’t have to tear down everything; just open the window a crack.
9. “I’m just being honest.”
Honesty can be brave, but sometimes it’s just cruelty in disguise. I’ve watched people weaponize this phrase, using it to justify statements that cut too deep.
What’s missing is empathy. Honesty without kindness isn’t a favor; it’s an excuse. If your truth leaves someone else bleeding, maybe it’s not the time—or maybe it isn’t truth at all, just an opinion dressed up as fact.
When you feel the urge to reach for this phrase think about: are you helping, or just hiding behind the idea of being “real?”
10. “People are too easily offended these days.”
I used to believe this one, too—as if everyone else was suddenly made of glass. It’s a phrase that rolls off the tongue when we’re tired of hearing about problems that don’t touch us directly. But really, it’s a shortcut to ignoring what matters to other people.
Saying this doesn’t make you braver or stronger. It just makes you less likely to listen. Every generation says the next is too sensitive, but maybe—just maybe—people are finally speaking up about things that hurt.
Challenge this tought! Are people actually too sensitive, or are they just refusing to swallow pain silently anymore? There’s bravery in vulnerability, even if it makes you uncomfortable.
11. “That’s not how I was raised.”
It’s funny how quickly this phrase can become a fortress. It sounds harmless—almost nostalgic—but it draws a line you’re not supposed to cross.
“That’s not how I was raised” means, “I refuse to question what feels familiar.” But at the end of the day, the world outside your childhood kitchen keeps moving.
Instead, try staying curious. What if the way you were raised isn’t the only way to be safe, loved, or right? Real openness is about questioning even your origin story.
12. “You can’t argue with success.”
Success stories make powerful armor. The problem is, success in the past doesn’t guarantee wisdom in the present.
People say this to short-circuit criticism and protect what’s worked for them. But every innovation, every leap forward, started with someone daring to question “success.” Every once in a while, what looks like a win for one person feels like loss for someone else.
Next time you hear this, or say it, stop and think. Who gets to define success—and who pays for it? Real growth comes from asking hard questions, even about victories.
13. “That would never happen to me.”
This one feels safe—like a magic spell against bad luck. But it’s really just a way of distancing yourself from other people’s pain.
This phrase is a wall. It says, “Your reality can’t touch me,” which might feel strong, but it’s actually pretty lonely. When people use it, they miss the point: empathy isn’t about imagining yourself safe; it’s about sitting with someone else’s fear or failure.
What you might do if it actually did happen to you? What would you need? Who would you turn to? Compassion is a whole lot braver than denial.
14. “Some people just can’t be helped.”
It’s easy to say this when you’re exhausted. It’s a way to protect yourself from feeling powerless, not a statement about the other person’s potential.
When you say someone can’t be helped, you close the door on hope. It’s easier than sitting with the discomfort of not having answers. However, occasionally, the only thing someone needs is for you to stay, even when there’s nothing you can fix.
If you want to be truly open-minded, try believing in people’s capacity to surprise you. In certain moments, hope is the bravest thing in the room.
15. “I know how you feel.”
This line sounds comforting, but it misses the mark. I’ve caught myself saying it, wanting to connect, but it lands wrong—like I’m erasing someone’s unique experience instead of honoring it. No two stories, or hurts, are exactly the same.
When people use this phrase, it’s about wanting to fast-track empathy. But real connection takes time and curiosity. Instead of assuming, try asking: “What’s that like for you?” Let the other person teach you what you don’t know.
Practice listening longer than you talk. The answers might surprise you, and so will the connection that follows.
16. “You’re overreacting.”
“You’re overreacting.” It’s a quick fix, but it leaves scars. The other person learns to doubt their own instincts.
This phrase is less about facts and more about comfort—yours, not theirs. It says, “I don’t want to feel what you’re feeling, so please shut it down.” But feelings aren’t problems to be solved; they’re signals. Ignore them, and you miss what’s real.
Do you really know what’s going on for the other person—and for you? Perhaps, the bravest thing you can offer is your willingness to stay, even when things get messy.