Relaciones NSA: Qué es y 13 reglas de oro a seguir

¿Qué significa una relación NSA? You’ve probably seen that Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman movie and immediately started wondering if you could pull off something like that, haven’t you?

Tener una relación sin compromiso suena muy divertido cuando oyes a la gente hablar de ello.

So it’s only natural that it should pop up in your head and tickle your imagination as well.

Having fun in bed and knowing that you’re not going to regret it in the morning is the kind of relationship we all secretly seek! You’re with someone but you don’t feel any guilt after leaving the next morning.

You both know it’s just a sexy, innocent conectar y sexo completamente casual (que es lo que lo hace tan caliente).

It is never a way of getting emotionally intimate or invested. Unlike a serious relationship, this is pure fun with no strings attached. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it?

El problema es que este tipo de relación está sujeta a ciertas normas.

Deberías seguirlas para no meter la pata ni hacer el ridículo. (Como la mayoría de las cosas en la vida, las relaciones son complicadas e impredecibles.

•  Sometimes you think you’re about to embark on a life-changing adventure with tu alma gemela y terminas con el corazón roto y solo. Te das cuenta de que solo era una relación casual.

•  And other times, you choose an NSA relationship and you start developing serious feelings for this person. Nothing is going like you imagined it would and feelings appear out of nowhere. You’re clueless what to do about it.

That’s life for you. You can’t plan out tu vida amorosa. You can’t control your feelings when they appear out of nowhere.

Sólo tienes que aprender a establecer unas reglas básicas para el tipo de relación que deseas mantener.

Si has decidido explorar la posibilidad de mantener una relación sin compromiso, hay ciertas reglas no escritas que probablemente deberías seguir.

Aprende a maximizar el placer y a evitar las posibles repercusiones negativas.

It’s a way to have some innocent, sultry fun, so do just that with the help of the following guidelines.

1. Know the difference between ‘friends with benefits’ and NSA

If you choose a friend to have this type of relationship with, it’s called amigos con beneficios. But an NSA relationship doesn’t have anything to do with that.

Here, the man you’re with doesn’t have to listen to your problems and or make you feel better when you’re down.

Este tipo de relaciones se centran en el placer físico. NSA significa que no hay ataduras.

No es una relación real y nadie se debe nada más que diversión, sexo casual y pasar un buen rato.

2. Ask yourself if you’re ready

Being emotionally ready for an NSA relationship is crucial. You don’t want to make it awkward by revealing your feelings to someone who doesn’t feel the same way.

If you’re done with citas en línea and all those useless dating sites, and you’ve decided to embark on a one night stand, ask yourself the following:

•  Can you deal with the fact that there won’t be an actual first date and that the person probably won’t stick around until morning?

•  Is the person you’re hooking up with familiar with the ground rules of an NSA relationship?

•  Are you two on the exact same page regarding your expectations and emotions and have you worked out a foolproof NSA arrangement?

Only after you’ve checked these boxes are you truly ready for this type of relationship.

3. Utiliza protección.

Esto debería ser de sentido común, pero la mayoría de la gente comete el error de no tomarse esta norma muy en serio.

This kind of arrangement is usually a quick, on-the-go type of thing that doesn’t leave much time to actually think things through.

Por eso hay que resolver los problemas antes de reunirse con la persona.

Asegúrate de que al menos uno de los dos lleva algún tipo de método anticonceptivo para evitar embarazos no deseados o enfermedades de transmisión sexual.

Be smart about this now, so you don’t regret it in the future.

4. Córtalo en el momento en que empieces a desarrollar sentimientos

Si empiezas a ponerte celoso, y a comprobar su redes sociales accounts to find out where they are, it’s a clear sign to move on from that person as your feelings are starting to surface.

In this type of relationship, feelings are the last thing you need or want – they complicate things.

It’s not easy to recognize it at first, but if the thought of them being with someone else makes you feel weird, it’s a sign to cut it off. Don’t do this to yourself. You might get hurt.

Unlike all your previous romantic relationships, this is new territory, and if you sense you’re not ready, press pause and wait it out.

Casual sex is not for everyone and there’s no shame in that. The truth is, we’d all like to be void of emotions when it comes to these things, but it’s easier said than done.

5. Tener límites

Los límites son cruciales para protegerse de atrapando sentimientos. Making rules for this type of relationship might seem harsh, but it’s necessary unless you want to end up hurt or hurting the person in question.

•  Decide to only text regarding sex and hooking up. No random messages about feelings and your life in general. Keep it strictly sexy and breezy.

•  Agree if you see each other in public, not to approach each other unless you’re alone. If you’re with other people, it may get awkward, so you want to avoid that at all costs.

•  When you’re done having sex, the person visiting has an hour tops to leave. No sleeping over and cuddling. That leads to talking and talking leads to getting to know each other. And you know where that goes. Nip it in the bud.

6. Diviértete

Isn’t fun the main reason why you decided to enter into an NSA relationship?

Then enjoy it as much as you can! Don’t think about the way you perform too much, don’t think about what will happen tomorrow, make it enjoyable.

Relájate y desconecta. Es tu tiempo libre y puedes divertirte y reírte (o gemir) tan fuerte como quieras. El objetivo de este encuentro es olvidarte del mundo exterior y centrarte en tu cuerpo y en el placer. Borra todo lo que NO sea eso y relájate.

7. Atiende primero a tus necesidades

Tienes permiso total para ser egoísta con tus necesidades por encima de todo lo demás. Recuerda, esto NO es una relación real, ¡así que puedes hacer lo que quieras!

If you don’t like something, tell them and don’t hesitate to make it clear exactly how you like it.

If you’re apasionado por el sexo and you’re having a great time, there is no doubt that it’ll be amazing for them, too. But, you’re your biggest priority.

This is your time to shine. Sure, your NSA partner is important too, but you don’t have to worry about him that much. You only live once… so make the most of this!

8. Vuélvete loco

Similar a la regla de oro anterior, esto significa que no estás obligado a hacer nada que no te resulte agradable.

Ahora tiene la libertad para probar todas las cosas que temías hacer en una relación comprometida.

Ya no tendrás que preocuparte de que tu pareja se sienta intimidada o extrañada por las cosas que te gustan en la cama.

¿A quién le importa ahora? Ten la mente abierta para volverte completamente loco y ser espontáneo. Sé curioso. Sé salvaje. Sé la persona que siempre has temido ser.

9. Tener sexo e irse a casa

Don’t hang out afterwards and don’t spend time cuddling. Once it’s all finished, pick up your clothes, get dressed and get on your way home.

You have a perfectly comfortable bed there, use it! If you start cuddling and hanging around each other, you will start talking and that’s when you know that you’ve gone too far.

You want to keep this going, right? You like this NSA relationship? Then don’t cuddle! This is the most important thing.

Si empezáis a hablar de cosas personales, llegaréis a conoceros a un nivel más profundo y, os guste o no, ¡los sentimientos se interpondrán en vuestro ligue casual!

Evítalo volviendo a casa inmediatamente después del sexo y separando este asunto de tu vida personal.

10. Don’t tell him things about yourself

With this I mean: Don’t tell him your secrets; keep them to yourself. Who knows how long this is going to last?

Do you really want someone who’s not going to be around for too long to know everything about you? I’m guessing not.

Una vez que empiezas a hablar de las cosas que te hacen sentir inseguro o asustado, estás cruzando lentamente hacia una relación real y una vez que ves que eso sucede, necesitas detenerte. La verdad es que estar en una relación NSA es un trabajo duro.

Todos pensamos que somos capaces de tener una relación que sea pura diversión y cero emociones, pero a la hora de la verdad te das cuenta de lo complicado que puede llegar a ser.

La línea suele ser borrosa y pronto te das cuenta de que quieres una relación seria con esa persona.

Evita todo eso compartiendo lo menos posible. Siempre que quieras que las cosas sigan siendo informales, sigue esta regla básica.

11. Puedes decir que no

You have no obligations to this person and it’s the same the other way around.

You don’t have to go and have sex with them whenever they want it, so if you’re not feeling like it, be clear about it.

•  If they call wanting to have sex and you’re not in the mood, you are free to say it loud and clear. Your wants are just as important as theirs.

•  Remember, even if the person does get mad, is it really important? No, it’s not. Unlike with romantic relationships, here you don’t have to be so considerate of their feelings. Be kind, but stand your ground.

•  If the person can’t take no for an answer, walk away from this arrangement. They might get too possessive and controlling, which is your cue to get out.

12. Recuerda que no son de tu propiedad

Si ves al tipo sentado en un café con otra persona, don’t get all jealous on himpelearse por lo que haya pasado o enfadarse.

That’s the first sign of attachment. No strings attached means exactly what it says.

Él puede salir con quien quiera y lo mismo vale para ti. Prepárate para esta situación, porque ocurrirá.

The only question is when. One day, you are going to see this person in the real world holding hands with someone else, and at that moment, you will realize just how okay with this you are or aren’t.

Y por muy mierda que sea, no tienes derecho a ir allí y montar una escena.

What you have is not real, and you don’t get to cause them trouble. If it hurts, walk away before it gets worse. It’s for your own good.

13. Tener siempre un plan de respaldo

Why would you throw out all the other options you have in your life for an NSA relationship? Don’t do that. It’s not worth it.

Puedes flirtear con otros hombres y tener citas. Al hacerlo, te aseguras de que tienes otras opciones en caso de que la cosa se tuerza.

And let’s face the truth, it might. Your NSA partner might find someone else, and you could find yourself in deep water.

NSA significa sin ataduras. Recuérdalo por si la línea empieza a hacerse demasiado borrosa. Dale otra oportunidad a los sitios de citas y mira qué más hay por ahí.

You are totally allowed to do that, so don’t be afraid to have a backup plan if this blows up in your face. He is probably doing the same thing.

So think about yourself first, and everyone else second. When this stops being fun and casual, take it as a sign to resort to your backup plan. Trust me, you’ll be happy you had one.

En conclusión

An NSA relationship is certainly not everyone’s cup of tea. People get into these things thinking it will be smooth sailing and pure, innocent fun, but more often than not, one person gets blindsided and hurt.

Y lo peor es que nadie se lo espera. Entras en ella sintiéndote esperanzado y furtivo y sales de ella herido y decepcionado con un agujero en las tripas.

Precisamente por eso hay reglas de oro que debes seguir si quieres que la tuya tenga éxito.

Esta no es una relación comprometida y tu pareja no te debe nada.

There are no dates, no declarations of love, and no talking about stuff for hours on end. It’s casual, fun, and breezy.

You go in and you get out, and that’s it. If after reading all of this you feel you’re ready to experience it, by all means – go ahead! But those who are apprehensive and confused by the arrangement, perhaps this is not for you.

Don’t be discouraged. Do your own thing and stick to what makes you sentirse bien.

There’s no shame in being honest with yourself. Good luck and follow your gut!