5 consejos para criar a un hijo con un narcisista

Liberarse de una relación con un narcisista es una de las cosas más duras y dolorosas que toda víctima ha tenido que hacer. Pero es aún más difícil cuando hay niños involucrados.

Todo lo que quieres hacer es ir ningún contacto but that is impossible because you have your kids tying you to this man for the rest of your life. Even though you want to protect your kids from this man’s toxicity, he is their father and you know you have to find a way to co-parent with him in the most successful way.

Pero, al mismo tiempo, tienes que mantenerte cuerda y mentalmente sana, por tu propio bien y por el de tus hijos. Y aquí tienes 5 maneras de conseguirlo.

1. Don’t let him put the blame on you

Está demostrado que narcisistas don’t have a sense of responsibility. And even when they know that they are the one who screwed things up, they’ll never admit it. Instead, they will try to put all the blame on their victim for everything that went on.

Y eso es exactamente lo que tu ex intentará hacer. Intentará hacerte quedar como el malo de la película y hará que te sientas culpable por haber destrozado tu familia y por no haber dado a tus hijos la oportunidad de ser criados por sus dos padres.

Don’t let him get to you! Remember, you are not to blame. These are just his manipulations in which he tries to make you go back to him one way or another.

2. Háblale sólo de los niños

When you leave a narcissistic partner, the first advice you’ll hear is to cut all possible ties with him. But something like this is impossible when the two of you are co-parenting.

The truth is that you have to communicate with your ex, regarding your children. And without a doubt, he’ll do his best to use everything he has to try and get to you. He’ll try to talk to you about everything that happened between you guys and he’ll try to manipulate his way into getting back together.

This is something you should never allow, at any cost. Remember—every narcissist is sneaky. He won’t ask you to go back to him on his first try. Instead, he’ll patiently work his way under your skin, step by step, without you even realizing what is going on.

Para evitarlo, habla con él sólo de los niños. Haz todo lo posible por verle como el padre de tus hijos y nada más. Apaga todas las emociones personales que hayas tenido o puedas tener por este hombre.

3. Establezca un horario estricto y cúmplalo

The moment you split with your narcissistic ex is the moment in which you’ll have to strictly agree on visiting hours or days. And this is something you’ll have to stick to if you want a peaceful life.

Trust me—he’ll try to continue destroying your life by ruining your plans and by not picking up the kids when he should or by asking to see them outside of his schedule. Don’t allow him to do this under any circumstance because if you do, you are just giving him another way of controlling your time.

4. Sé el mejor ejemplo para tus hijos

When you are co-parenting with a narcissist, you are not the only one who can teach your children important moral values. You are not the only one who can be their role model and you don’t have a complete impact on their raising.

Te guste o no, tu ex también tiene un gran efecto en ellos y le admiran, porque no son conscientes de su toxicidad.
Even though you can’t be the one to talk trash their father, what you can do is set the best possible example for your children.

Muéstreles la importancia de autocuidado and self-love. Teach them the difference between good and bad, right and wrong. Don’t focus on trying to explain to your kids why their father is not behaving properly—teach them to be better than him with your own examples, without even mentioning him.

5. Eduque a sus hijos sobre los malos tratos

I know this is something you don’t want to do but if your children are exposed to toxic behavior, you need to teach them how to recognize abuse and how to protect themselves from it. I know this is something you don’t want to think about but the truth is that there is a possibility for your kids to become a narcissist’s victims as well, without you even noticing it.

Por eso tienes que esforzarte en explicarles que pueden contarte cualquier cosa que les moleste. Tienes que enseñar a tus hijos a nombrar e identificar los distintos tipos de maltrato.

Don’t use your past relationship as an example and don’t talk to them about what their father did to you. Instead, give them other examples of emotional, verbal and maltrato físico, adecuados a su edad.