5 razones por las que ese hombre roto no es tuyo para arreglarlo

¿Se ha encontrado alguna vez en una situación en la que ha conocido a un hombre emocionalmente dañado que tenía toneladas de equipaje y problemas?

Sin embargo, en lugar de huir de él y dejar que se las apañara solo con sus problemas, decidiste hacer todo lo contrario: te encargaste de arreglarlo.

Si te sientes identificado, aquí tienes 5 razones por las que ha sido la peor decisión de tu vida.

1. You’re not a superwoman

Cuando conoces a un hombre emocionalmente dañado o con problemas, lo ves a él y a su situación como un reto.

After all, you’ve achieved things that seemed way more impossible than this one.

You are not a quitter, and you know how capable you are, so why couldn’t you arregla esto hombre ¿también?

Therefore, you convinced yourself that you’re the only one who can open his heart to love, the only one who has the ability to chase away his demons, and the only one who can help him.

Well, let me break your bubble—you’re not. 

You’re a strong, powerful girl—nobody can argue with that. However, that doesn’t give you superpowers, and it doesn’t make you omnipotent when it comes to others.

You probably don’t want to give up on this guy because you would see that as your personal defeat.

However, instead of looking at things this way, remember that you can’t do everything you set your mind to.

2. You weren’t the one who damaged him

Todos debemos asumir la responsabilidad de nuestros actos y malas acciones. Este hombre está roto por una razón.

He was probably hurt by a woman from his past or he has some traumas, issues and emotional baggage he keeps carrying around and can’t seem to get rid of.

Sin embargo, lo que deberías preguntarte es si tú has provocado que se sienta así.

¿Fuiste tú quien aplastó su corazón y lo cambió para siempre?

Of course, the answer is NO! You’re not responsible for his wounds, so how can it be your duty to cure them?

Remember: you can’t repair what you didn’t break.

Yes, you can give him a hand in the process, but you can’t be the one who does the healing instead of him.

3. You can’t save anyone

La dura verdad que muchos se niegan a afrontar es que you can’t save anyone, especially if they don’t want to be saved.

Sé que es difícil de entender, pero hay personas que se acostumbraron a su dolor. Se convirtió en una parte tan inseparable de ellos que dejaron de reconocerlo como algo malo.

There are people whose toxicity became their comfort zone and who actually don’t have the desire to get rid of it.

If your man is one of those people, sorry, but there is no point in trying to do his dirty work for him because you’ll achieve nothing.

Además, si este chico, por ejemplo, necesita un cierre, tiene que conseguirlo de la chica que le hizo sentir así.

Si necesita tiempo para procesar algunas cosas y alejarse de su dolor, es él quien tiene que hacerlo con o sin ti en su vida.

You can’t take over his burden, as much as you want to, and you can’t magically erase his scars. Well, technically you can try, but that would only be temporary.

4. He’ll only pull you down with him

Cuando empezó a pensar en cómo ayudar a este hombre, probablemente se imaginó el mejor de los casos.

Your love, honesty, and devotion would soften his heart. He’d get rid of the shields which kept him guarded, and he’d show you his true, vulnerable self.

Si lo consigues, lo atraerás hacia la luz, y todos sus demonios y traumas formarán parte de su lejano recuerdo.

Sounds great, I know—almost too great to be true.

However, what you didn’t take into consideration is for things to happen the other way around.

Verás, siempre existe la posibilidad de que te arrastre hacia abajo con él y de que quedes dañada, igual que él.

There’s a very real possibility for his negativity and toxicity to overweigh your positive energy and the love you’re bringing to the table; a possibility for you both to end up completely messed up.

5. Tienes que centrarte en ti mismo

For as long as you can remember, you’ve been a selfless person who has taken care of other people’s needs.

You were everyone’s shoulder to cry on, the wind to their wings, and the person who never gave up on her closest ones.

And that is an awesome quality. You’re obviously an empático que está dispuesta a mover montañas por las personas que ama.

However, instead of taking over someone else’s problems, it is about time for you to focus on yourself.

It is about time to give yourself the place which belongs to you—a place on the top of your own priority list.

Y eso no tiene nada de egoísta. Por el contrario, es la única manera en que las cosas deberían funcionar.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not advising you to become an egocentric maniac who only cares for her own wellbeing.

However, I’m begging you not to get yourself in a situation where you’ll drain all of your energy on trying to help others and end up with no strength to lift yourself up when you need it.

Please, redirect all of the effort and time you’ve been giving to this man to yourself.

Asegúrate de convertirte en la mejor versión posible de ti misma y en la mujer que sabes que estás destinada a ser antes de salir ahí fuera y centrarte en los demás.

Sounds kind of ruthless, I know. Nevertheless, it is the only way in which your own life won’t suffer because of others.

Because the truth is that no matter how deeply you care for another person, you have to put yourself first because you’re the one who matters the most.

Y siempre tienes que quererte a ti mismo antes de querer a los demás.