5 señales de que en realidad te da miedo curarte (y ni siquiera te das cuenta)

A pesar de todo lo que dicen, algunas personas se niegan a dejar atrás los recuerdos y el dolor. Se aferran con fuerza al pasado, sin ni siquiera ser conscientes de ello.

There are people who don’t allow time to do its magic. The ones who refuse to start the repairing process simply because it means they’d have to accept the end. The ones who don’t want to heal because they are scared of the real life which awaits them after they recover.

Here are 5 signs that you’re one of these people and that your fear is responsible for the fact that you’re not curación.

1. Sólo recuerdas las cosas buenas

The first sign you actually don’t want to let go lies in the fact that you don’t look at your past relationship realistically. Instead of remembering things the way they really were, you only think of the good times and beautiful memories.

Teniendo esto en cuenta, es perfectamente natural que pienses en el pasado como algo mucho mejor de lo que realmente fue. Idealizas a tu ex y todo lo que sentías a su lado, lo que te impide sanar.

Te obsesionas con el potencial de tu relación pasada, pensando en todo lo que podría y debería haber pasado si hubierais conseguido que las cosas funcionaran. En lugar de eso, lo que deberías hacer es mirar la verdad a los ojos y darte cuenta de que terminó por una razón válida y que estaba lejos de ser perfecta.

2. Romantizas el dolor

While looking at your relationship through rose-tinted glasses, somehow you’ve also managed to romanticize the emotional pain that’s been consuming you. Instead of seeing it as something you need to get rid of ASAP, you’ve found something noble and divine in it.

Deep down, you are proud of yourself for being this consistent. You’re proud of being capable of loving one man for as long as you breathe, even if this is the man who’s caused you so much harm.

Well, let me tell you something—despite everything the love songs, poems and novels are trying to tell you, there is nothing poetic about wasting years crying over someone. There is nothing romantic about being emotionally damaged and there doesn’t exist such a thing as being beautifully broken.

3. Y se hizo familiar

Another sign that you’re scared of healing, without even realizing it, is the fact that with years, the pain has become familiar. This is something you don’t see at first but if you dig through your subconscious, you’ll see that it really did become your comfort zone.

After so much time you’ve spent suffering, holding on to the past and thinking about the man who hurt you became a habit of yours. After so much time, you convinced yourself that sadness is the only emotion you know how to feel.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that you should have pretended that the pain isn’t real because that wouldn’t bring you any good either. However, it is obvious that you’ve allowed it to define quién eres.

Whether you like to admit it or not, the fact is that you’ve ceased to exist outside of the pain. You’ve stopped being a daughter, a sister, a mother or a friend and you’ve reduced your entire being to a broken-hearted woman. Please, remember that you’re much more than that!

4. Crees que todo el mundo es como tu ex

Cuando una persona te hace tanto daño, es natural que pierdas la fe en toda la humanidad. Piensas que todo el mundo tiene la intención de romperte el corazón y que todos los hombres son iguales que tu ex.

Así que, sin ni siquiera ser consciente de ello, te aferras a su recuerdo porque es mejor que ponerte en evidencia y exponer tus vulnerabilidades a alguien nuevo que puede acabar tratándote igual que tu ex.

5. Or that you’ll never find someone like him

Of course, there is also the possibility that you’re convinced you’ll never encontrar a alguien mejor and that no man on this earth could ever make you feel the way he did. Maybe your ex-boyfriend manipulated you into thinking that he was the best you’d ever find so now you think it is pointless to even try searching for someone new.

Not wanting to settle for a loveless relationship just so you don’t end up being single is one thing. However, not giving anyone a chance just because you are convinced you could never love again after your ex is not only foolish but is also a sure-fire sign that you are actually afraid of healing.