11 señales de que no quiere acostarse contigo y 7 razones que lo explican
You’re used to watching out for red flags of a guy who sees you as nada más que una llamada de botín. You know the type: the one who only calls you after midnight and who’s clearly not interested in building a deeper emotional connection.
But what happens when the tables turn around? What are the signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you?
Sí, estas cosas también pasan. Sé que la mayor parte del tiempo deshumanizamos a los hombres y pensamos en ellos como máquinas sexuales que harían cualquier cosa por echar un polvo.
Nevertheless, sometimes you couldn’t drag him into the bedroom, even if his life depended on it. The biggest problem with this is that usually, girls have a hard time taking hints.
You don’t even take this as an option. You’re young, attractive, and funny- who wouldn’t want to sleep with you?
Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you but it appears that you’ve run into an endemic species.
11 Signs He Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You
You know how you act when you don’t want to have sex with someone? Well, men and women are pretty much the same, despite all of their differences.
So, when a guy doesn’t want to sleep with you, here are some behavioral patterns he is likely to display.
Te ha friendzoneado
If you’re being honest, you’ll admit that this guy probably doesn’t see you as more than a friend. It’s the bitter truth but he simply doesn’t look at you like that.
You put a lot of effort into seducing him but the fact is that he doesn’t see you as material de novia. Of course, this has nothing to do with your appearance or personality and it certainly doesn’t make you any less worthy.
You might not be his type- that’s all. This man is obviously different and he doesn’t have the ambition to sleep with every pretty girl on the planet.
On the other hand, he appreciates all of your other qualities- otherwise, he wouldn’t have kept you in his life at all.
Él piensa en ti como una gran persona que sólo quiere que seamos mejores amigos con. Disfruta pasando tiempo contigo y nunca arruinaría la increíble amistad que tenéis por una noche de sexo sin sentido.
Of course, you don’t share his opinion but that’s a whole other thing.
The bottom line is that for this guy, you’re one of the boys. He even often calls you “dude” or tells everyone that you’re the closest thing he’s ever had to a sister.
You probably do have a significant place on his priority list but that doesn’t mean he sees you as a sexual being. I’m sure he loves you- just not the way you would want him to.
Evita el contacto físico
You don’t usually agree to have sex with someone and then just proceed on doing it. The fact is that the foreplay itself actually begins way before the bedroom.
When someone is into you, he’ll use every chance he gets to touch you. I’m not saying that you must cuddle or make out while eating dinner on your first date but when a guy wants to sleep with you, he’ll definitely engage in some kind of physical contact.
Or at least, he’ll try doing so and it’s up to you whether you’ll let him or not.
For example, he’ll grab your hand, hold you a bit longer in his arms when abrazándote or put his hand on your knee when he’s telling you a story. The examples are endless but I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Pues bien, este tipo de interacción no existe entre tú y este chico. De hecho, te aleja cada vez que intentas establecer algún contacto.
Obviously, he doesn’t literally push you away but he does everything in his power to avoid giving you an opportunity to touch him.
Tirar hacia atrás
He’s always the first one to let go when you’re hugging (beware that he’s also never the one to initiate these hugging sessions). When you grab his hand, he just holds it there before pulling away without grabbing you tighter or putting his other hand on top of yours.
Whenever you touch him, his first reaction is to pull back. It’s like an instinct he can’t control which makes it more than obvious that this man isn’t comfortable with your skin on his.
His body doesn’t have the desire to join with yours on this innocent level so how do you expect your intercourse to feel?
I know what you must think- he probably doesn’t want to be all pushy or se está haciendo el duro. Bueno, cariño, déjate de autoengaños.
Let’s not forget that he is just a human being. Trust me- if he wanted to touch you (and if he weren’t bothered by you touching him), it would be very clear.
He doesn’t let you invade his personal space
One of the biggest warning signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you is the way this man literally doesn’t let you near him. It’s not that he just avoids your touch- he also doesn’t let you invade his personal space.
Puedes verlo en las pequeñas cosas que parecen irrelevantes pero que en realidad importan más de lo que crees.
Cuando te gusta un chico, ¿te sientas a su lado? Sí, lo harás.
If you’re in a crowded room, will you choose to yell a little harder so he could hear you or you’ll pull closer to him? I know that the latter is the answer.
Well, the Mr. in question doesn’t behave like that at all.
Even when you two dance, it’s never to slow music. When you meet at a restaurant or a coffee shop, he’ll choose to sit as far away from you as possible. If you’re in a car together, he’ll never put his arm on the armrest if yours is there already.
Sounds funny, I know. But pay attention to these things and if most of them are true- I’m sorry but he doesn’t want you close to him.
Ponlo a prueba y verás lo que pasa
Make a test to see if this is true. If the two of you are standing or sitting next to each other, move an inch in his direction (but don’t allow him to notice that you’re doing it on purpose). I bet that he’ll instinctively move an inch away.
Don’t get me wrong- he’s not doing it on purpose. It’s not like you smell bad or something like that.
He’s not doing it to offend you either. He’s actually probably not even aware of his actions- it’s just an impulse he gets every time you come close.
Most of us are like that. We don’t feel comfortable with others invading our personal area.
Of course, that doesn’t include the ones we like and want to sleep with you. So I guess, this alone excludes you from that group, doesn’t it?
Nunca coquetea contigo
Yes, some guys suck at flirting while some are born professionals. But hey, when he’s into you and is trying to get you to sleep with him, he’ll flirt with youDe una forma u otra.
It might turn out to be awkward and he might be terrible at it but he’ll give it a shot, there is no doubt about that.
He’ll tease you, he’ll make slightly inappropriate or ambiguous dirty jokes, he’ll ask you trick questions. Not only that: he’ll also go out of his way to make you laugh and to make himself look like a macho man.
But there is no flirting on sight when it comes to you and this guy. When you try to tease him or engage in some flirty behavior, he looks at you like you’ve lost your mind and probably even straightforwardly asks you if everything is okay.
He just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t take your hints and he most definitely doesn’t respond to them accordingly.
If someone overheard your conversations or read your texts, they would think that you’re definitely buddies There is no sex, love life, or flirting in your communication.
En cambio, la mayoría de las veces, lo único que hay son conversaciones triviales. Habláis del tiempo o de cómo habéis pasado el día, pero no hay nada oculto bajo estos temas ordinarios.
Nevertheless, it’s not just the way he talks to you. To be honest, he never gave you a sexy look, never winked at you or smiled at you in some special way.
I’m not saying this man doesn’t care about you- he just doesn’t love you that way.
No le gustan los mensajes de texto borracho
Every girl in the world knows one of the first unwritten rules of modern dating (or hookups and one night stands, to be exact): if a guy only reaches out to you wasted and after midnight- he’s got only one thing on his mind and that’s not a serious relationship.
Yes, that’s right- he’s using you as a llamada de botín. He’s been partying all night but he couldn’t get lucky. Or he’s just bored at the house and can’t sleep after a heavy night of drinking.
There you are, thinking how cute it is that he remembered you when he can’t even think straight- that must be a sign of love. It’s not- it’s a call for sex.
Well, imagine how terrible things must be when you don’t even get this. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not trying to tell you that mensajes y llamadas de borrachos in the middle of the night are goals because they’re not.
But frankly, they’re one of the biggest signs a man wants to fool around. Yes, that’s pretty much the only thing he wants to do but still, the point is that he wants to sleep with you.
On the other hand, the guy we’re talking about clearly doesn’t think of you even when his sex life is on the lowest. Tough break, I know.
Una perspectiva más brillante
Nevertheless, look at things from a brighter perspective: at least, you know where you stand. I know you want to get nasty with this man but believe me when I tell you that you’re much better off without his drunk texts.
Actually, every relationship expert will tell you the same: everything that’s happening is not such a bad thing.
Trust me: seeing the signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you beats seeing the señales de que sólo quiere acostarse contigo any time. You might not see it now but with time, you’ll figure it out and you’ll be happy with the way things turned out.
Nunca elogia tu aspecto
I know what you’re about to say: personality is what keeps someone around. It’s what makes us fall in love and what makes us stay together.
And I couldn’t agree more. You can have the hottest supermodel by your side but if you two don’t get along and don’t have any shared interests- what’s the point?
But let’s not idealize things here either. The personality gets you to stay- that’s true. But appearance is what draws the opposite sex’s attention.
Mira, los hombres y las mujeres no son tan diferentes. Cuando quieres tirarte a un tíosignifica que lo encuentras atractivo. Lo mismo ocurre en ambos sentidos.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that a man who wants to sleep with you will eventually make a comment about the way you look.
No, he doesn’t have to be vulgar about it. He doesn’t have to say anything that might humiliate you.
A compliment every now and then will be enough. Yes, some guys will tell you that you look smoking hot in that dress or that they can’t get enough of looking at your culo grande while some will be more polite and tell you that you’re exquisitely beautiful tonight.
La cuestión es más o menos la misma: las formas en que se planteó difieren.
On the other hand, this guy will compliment you on other things. He will tell you what a great best friend you are or that you’re an amazing professional in your area of expertise.
Harán comentarios sobre cualquier cosa, aparte de tu aspecto, tu perfume y otras cosas a las que normalmente se agarran los chicos.
Me gusta y comentarios en las redes sociales
Another thing to pay attention to is his social media activity. But you won’t be analyzing his posts this time- instead, you have to check out your feed.
You post a sexy selfie on your story- does he reply? He doesn’t have to say anything but does he even react with an emoji? I guess not.
Publicas una foto de una pantalla de Netflix. De repente, te pide recomendaciones de películas.
The same goes for liking and commenting on your photos and posts. He’ll rarely have any reaction to photos of you. On the other hand, he agrees with the attitudes and values you promote on your social media accounts.
He doesn’t show any signs of jealousy
Un hombre al que le gustas sexualmente siempre estar celoso of other guys around you. He doesn’t have to be your actual boyfriend but that won’t prevent him from hating on every male in your surroundings.
He’s threatened by them and he is also a little possessive- even though you’re technically not his. That’s what makes him a human being.
La cuestión es que ni las mujeres ni los hombres pueden controlar estos celos. Creemos que podemos pero siempre se nota.
Así que deja de mentirte a ti misma que tu chico es sólo un profesional en fingiendo no estar celoso. Come on, he’s the one who gives you advice on your love life without a problem. And he never tells you to break up with the guy you’re seeing.
The harsh truth is that he couldn’t care less who you sleep with. He honestly wants you to find love and doesn’t see himself as a part of an equation.
Sería mejor que dejaras de intentar dale celos because it obviously won’t work.
No se da cuenta de las pequeñas cosas sobre ti
As far as this man is concerned, you can cut your hair off completely, he probably wouldn’t notice until someone brought his attention to it. Once again- he doesn’t see you as his potential partner and that’s why he fails to notice little things about you.
Let me reveal a little secret to you: a man who wants to have sex with you, fantasies about the act before it takes place. It’s perfectly normal and it’s something women do as well so don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about.
Yes, he will probably pleasure himself thinking about you. But that’s not all; if he’s falling in love, sometimes, he’ll just lay in his bed, picturing you next to him.
En esas fantasías, sus imágenes de ti son muy vívidas. Te desnuda lentamente y disfruta con la idea de tenerte delante.
That’s how every single detail about your appearance gets stuck in his head. And that’s exactly why he would notice the slightest change in your looks.
But not this guy. He doesn’t pay attention to details about you and that shows su nivel de interés.
Nunca te comprueba
Podría intentar ocultar sus sentimientos forever but when a guy sees a girl he’s attracted to, he can’t resist but to check her out. He won’t just glance over her- he’ll give her a detailed head-to-toe inspection.
Nevertheless, this is the man who never does that. You can be wearing your shortest and tightest skirt or your pajamas- he’ll be looking at you the same.
Contacto visual
In fact, he doesn’t even make eye contact. When you look him deeply in the eyes, he just looks away.
Por supuesto, esta señal por sí sola podría significar que es tímido. Maybe he is insecure and doesn’t have the confidence needed for contacto visual prolongado.
But if it’s combined with all the other signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you, everything is pretty much out in the open.
He doesn’t treat you specially
Una buena señal a el hombre siente algo por ti is the fact he treats you way differently than his other female friends. It doesn’t have to be something huge but everyone (including you) sees that, for him, you stand out.
Pueden ser las pequeñas cosas, como sentarse siempre a tu lado o contar un chiste y esperar tu reacción.
But these things are nowhere to be found with your guy. To make it even worse, he doesn’t only treat you the same as all of sus amigas– he treats you as if you were his guy best friend.
No hay tiempo individual
He aquí una gran señal que puede ayudarte a confirmar tus dudas: él nunca inicia un tiempo a solas. En cambio, este chico siempre quiere salir en grupo.
Incluso cuando le invitas a salir, he’ll invite another friend to join you two. Is it possible that he doesn’t notice all the cues?
I think not. It’s more likely that he wants to avoid an awkward situation of having to literally turn you down.
En cualquier caso, la conclusión es que este tipo no tiene ningún interés romántico o sexual en ti.
Es demasiado respetuoso
What girl doesn’t enjoy being around a perfecto caballero ¿con modales? Pero bueno, la educación no existe en el dormitorio.
I’m not saying that your el tipo tiene que convertirse en un imbécil grosero si quiere tener sexo contigo. Sin embargo, el problema es que este hombre es demasiado respetuoso.
He never crosses the line- not even a tiny beat and that is starting to annoy you. It’s clear that he doesn’t sexualize you at all; which is sometimes as awful as objectifying you.
¿Cómo saber si quiere acostarse contigo?
When a guy wants to sleep with you, he’ll make his intentions very clear.
He’ll start with obscene jokes, he’ll most definitely initiate at least some kind of physical contact, he’ll compliment your appearance and he’ll be checking you out all the way from top to bottom.
Basically, he’ll be doing everything the opposite of the signs listed above. He doesn’t have to tell you about his desires straightforwardly. But trust me- when he makes a move on you, you’ll know.
Bastará con que este hombre te mire directamente a los ojos para que te des cuenta de lo que quiere.
Let’s not forget that at the end of the day, we’re animals. We know a mating call when we see one.
7 Sad Reasons Why He Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You
Having to deal with the fact that some guy you like doesn’t want to have sex with you is a hard pill to swallow. But what if the man you’re in a committed relationship suddenly loses interest in bedroom activity?
Créeme, esto es aún más doloroso. Sin embargo, por desgracia, sucede con frecuencia, especialmente en relaciones duraderas que se han estancado.
Descubrir que algo va mal en tu relación no es lo más fácil de manejar.
Después de haber pasado tantos años con tu pareja, piensas que no hay nada que pueda hacer tambalear vuestra relación pero, de repente, ves que se distancia de ti.
Estás intentando acercarte a él y sedúcelo pero cada vez que intentas algo te interrumpe, diciendo que quiere ver una película o que está cansado.
You catch yourself worrying about why your guy doesn’t want any physical contact with you and wondering if he is still attracted to you.
You can’t live normally because this is something that is bothering you and you don’t know how to solve your problem.
Si has experimentado algo así, lo mejor que puedes hacer es ser sincero con tus sentimientos.
Pregúntale a tu pareja qué está pasando y por qué se muestra tan distante. Aunque la respuesta sea mala, al menos lo sabrás.
You’ve seen all the signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you, now is time to discuss what causes your man to avoid you in the bedroom.
Cuando hablamos de las verdaderas razones por las que algunos hombres pueden volverse distantes, he aquí una lista de las más comunes.
Tiene a alguien más
This is one of the most common reasons why your man doesn’t want to sleep with you. Here is the bitter truth: when a guy doesn’t want to sleep with you, he’s probably acostarse con otra persona en el lateral.
As rough as it might sound, he doesn’t have the physical strength or capacity for two full shifts a day.
Menos sexo de lo habitual puede llevarte a pensar que tu hombre tiene a alguien al lado.
Todo el amor y el afecto que debería darte se lo está dando a otra persona y te sientes tan mal por ello.
Te preguntas por qué ya no se siente atraído por ti y por qué no eres suficiente para él.
You can’t believe that after all that you have gone through he has found someone else and that your love story doesn’t mean anything to him.
¿Qué hacer?
Yes, extramarital affairs are probably the number one cause for lack of sex. But that doesn’t have to mean it’s what happened to you.
That is why you should, under no circumstances, jump to any conclusions. You two already have your own share of problems so let’s not accuse your partner of doing something without any valid proof.
Pero aunque te sientas fatal en ese momento, debes reaccionar ante lo que te está ocurriendo.
Debes hablar abiertamente con tu pareja porque es la única forma de resolver el problema.
And if you can’t find any middle ground at least you will know how to cope with all the emotions that are inside you.
Puede que no sea capaz de superar problemas del pasado
Si tu pareja y tú tuvisteis algunos problemas en el pasado y decidisteis pasar página, quizá él perdió el interés en acostarse contigo porque aún le duele emocionalmente.
If he is not connected with you on an emotional level, he won’t be able to do that on a physical level either.
Yes, this happens to men as well. He just can’t picture himself being so close to you, after everything you two have been through.
¿Qué hacer?
De nuevo, la mejor manera de encontrar la raíz del problema es con una conversación tranquila.
You shouldn’t overreact immediately because he might be suffering more than you thought.
En lugar de eso, intenta mantener una conversación tranquila y normal como dos adultos y habla abiertamente de tus problemas.
Sólo así podrás llegar a donde quieres. Quizá en algunos casos won’t be able to continue the relationship pero al menos sabrá cuál es el problema principal.
No estás al mismo nivel emocional que él.
Maybe your man thinks that you are not interested because your behavior doesn’t show that he is the most important person in your life. He puts you and your well-being in the first place but he feels that his love and effort are not reciprocated.
If you are always working and if you are busy with your friends, it is normal that he will think that you don’t want him like before.
Puede que esté teniendo una guerra dentro de su cabeza, pero en realidad nunca te dice nada al respecto.
Así que, cuando intentes acercarte a él, se retirará inmediatamente porque pensará que sólo lo haces cuando necesitas algo.
Esa puede ser una razón válida para no acostarse contigo pero es sólo porque los dos estáis pensando en algo que no es la verdad.
¿Qué hacer?
La comunicación es la clave de una vida relación sana and if you are more open about everything that you are going through, you won’t have any problems like this.
What was the last time you two had a decent conversation? I bet even you can’t remember.
¿Qué tal si cambias eso? Empieza por ahí y te prometo que las actividades de dormitorio te seguirán.
Tiene problemas en el trabajo y está estresado
Créeme, cuando un chico tiene problemas en el trabajo, intimar contigo será lo último en lo que piense. Por supuesto, esto también se aplica a todos sus otros problemas.
He will think about solving the problem all the time and he won’t be able to focus on you. This is especially the case for those old-fashioned men who are used to resolving everything on their own.
Actually, this kind of guy won’t even bother you with his problems.
That’s why he won’t be interested in sleeping with you at all. Guys behave like this when they have some problems that they have to solve.
No sólo se distanciarán físicamente, sino también emocionalmente.
¿Qué hacer?
Un chico nunca admitirá ante su pareja que tiene un problema porque piensa que eso le hará vulnerable pero, de hecho, sólo la comunicación abierta es la forma de resolver cualquier cosa que le moleste.
If you notice that he doesn’t talk to you that much and that he prefers spending time alone, you should ask him if you can help.
Quizá sólo necesite un empujoncito para abrirse a ti y solucionar las cosas.
Tiene problemas de salud
Your man may pull away from you if he has some medical problem that affects his sex drive but he doesn’t want to talk about it.
It is known that a partner often hides all their problems from their loved one because they don’t want to make them worry.
Si ves que su hombre está actuando distante and that you don’t recognize him anymore, you should do something about it.
Cambiar la rutina en tu relación o pasar más tiempo con él podría funcionar y él podría volver a la antigua versión de sí mismo.
¿Qué hacer?
Lo más importante es que seas su mayor apoyo en caso de que tenga problemas de salud. Todo es mucho más fácil cuando se hace en pareja.
For starters, do your best to be full of understanding. Keep in mind that no human being’s sex drive can be at its highest unless they’re in a state of wellness and good health.
Lo importante es no establecer ningún diagnóstico por vuestra cuenta. Antes de hacer nada, visiten a un médico o a un terapeuta sexual y comprueben si hay alguna cuestión médica implicada en este problema.
Ya no se siente atraído por ti
Una de las razones por las que tu hombre no se acuesta contigo puede ser porque no se siente atraído por ti más.
This is probably the reason you’ve been looking for, especially in case that your sexual relationship wasn’t this lousy from the beginning but nothing except your change of appearance has happened lately.
People change over time and he might be going through some phase in his life where he doesn’t know what he wants.
If he is not attracted to you because your body changed because of pregnancy, then he is a real douchebag who doesn’t deserve you.
Any guy should make a monument to the woman who gave him kids and if a man doesn’t know to cherish that, then he doesn’t deserve you.
¿Qué hacer?
If you are worried because of him pulling away and if he tells you that he doesn’t want you anymore, there is no need to waste your time on a man like that.
Leave him while you still can because he doesn’t deserve your presence, not even for a minute.
Por otro lado, si realmente te dejaste llevar, ¡deja esas prácticas! Empieza a cuidar tu cuerpo y tu aspecto de nuevo.
Of course, you won’t be doing it because of him but because it’ll make you feel better.
Sufre de ansiedad de rendimiento
Esto es bastante común cuando un tipo está a punto de dormir por primera vez with a new girl. So, if you’re at the comienzo de una relación real and your sex life isn’t all butterflies and roses- your boyfriend’s performance anxiety might be the problem.
He’s so scared that he’ll let you down that he prefers not sleeping with you at all over allowing that to happen.
It’s obvious that this guy is insecure and has some serious self-esteem issues.
¿Qué hacer?
Todo depende de la gravedad del caso. A veces, bastará con alabar un poco más su rendimiento en la habitación.
That way, you’ll chase away all of his doubts and he’ll believe you that he’s doing a great job.
If that doesn’t succeed, he’s probably dealing with some deeply rooted traumas and issues you’re not qualified to solve. That’s why a sex therapist is your choice!
Otras inseguridades
On the other hand, maybe he’s aware that he’s a stunt in the bedroom. But did you make it clear that you want the same thing he does?
Has it ever occurred to you that this guy isn’t making the first move because he’s not so certain whether you’ll turn him down or not. In that case, you better give him a green light right now!
What Does It Mean When A Man Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You?
I won’t sugarcoat it for you. If a man displays signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you, your relationship is in a crisis (if you’re together) or he doesn’t like you that way (if you’re just getting to know each other).
Your man refusing sex is probably just a consequence of a much deeper issue he’s dealing with. His behavior might have different meanings: that he’s having an affair, that he’s stressed out, or that he’s dealing with some health problems or even performance anxiety.
Nevertheless, whatever the reason is, I want you to know one thing: this doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
Para terminar:
The most important thing to have in mind is this: A man displaying the signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you doesn’t make you any less worthy. You’re still beautiful and attractive and I’m sure you’ll find someone who’ll see you that way.
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about your long-term boyfriend or about some dude who doesn’t give you the attention you want- this is not your fault and not something you should blame yourself for.
I’m begging you one thing only: don’t let this unfortunate situation ruin your confidence.
Most importantly: don’t feel guilty for seeing it as a problem. You’re made of flesh and blood and it’s perfectly natural for you to see sex as a huge part of every relación sana.
